Asia-James Gender affirmation surgeries

To my family, friends and special humans that I’ve had the privilege of crossing paths with in my life. 

I first want to say a big thank you for taking your time to read this and taking interest in this page. 

My name is Asia James, a Berlin based trans woman and this is so hard for me to write and even post due to fact I find it hard to ask for help and support. This is something I’m addressing in my weekly therapy sessions. 

I’ve been living in Berlin for over 11 years and very much involved in the queer club scene. I’m a performer and in the past was involved in music. I moved to Berlin to find myself and become the person I daydreamed about. 

Due to my upbringing, I found it very hard to express the true form of myself and I would use different ways to express to hide away my true form and intentions of what I wanted.  I feared being dismissed or unwanted which did happen with some family members. I carried a lot of this deep inside of me and held a lot of hidden hatred about myself, my being, my gender and my very existence. 

So, I judged myself and others harshly carrying the uninformed views passed down from my family and friends on my shoulders. 

Living in Berlin has been a blissful time and each year I feel more informed about myself and breaking away from those judgmental, Jamaican, Christian ideologies. 

But each year I felt confused in other ways, like feeling disconnected because I didn’t feel the same as my close gay friends. I knew something was different for a long time but that judgmental mind would keep poking me telling me, you’re gay and flamboyant that’s enough anything else is not right’. 

 Before the start of the pandemic, I came to terms with the fact that I couldn’t fight inner conflict alone and started therapy. 

This has been a monumental movement in my life and helped me to start connecting with this force inside of me. I discovered that I felt that I’ve been trapped in a physical form and mental mind-set that was never me. 

Saying the words, ‘I’m a woman’ lifted that hazy feeling from my mind.

 

I knew this was the start of restoring the person that I really wanted to be even though I questioned myself about why I had waited. 

Starting hormones was an exciting experience and I feel so blessed to have access to this treatment but over the last year I have been increasingly insecure, more than ever, about my physical appearance and no matter how many times the world tells me I’m fabulous and beautiful I don’t see the woman inside looking at me in the mirror.

So, I came to terms with the idea of having gender affirmation surgeries. I have had a lot of consultations and meetings over this year and wanted to work as hard as I could to raise the money to help myself. Being so proud this felt like the only way, but I’ve now understood that this was a crazy aim. 

Selling most my clothing, working around the clock and becoming sick from this is not seeming a very healthy option. 

So, I wanted to set up this funding page to help me raise funds to support my Gender Affirmation Surgeries. I understand in these times and the uncertain circumstances a lot of us find ourselves in that it’s very hard for people to even imagine supporting anything. But if you can support or share this page, I’ll be forever grateful. 

Thank you for taking your time to read this, sending you love, light, positivity and blessings.

Love Asia