Ash's 50th Garden Fund

Friends, Family! It's me - wee Ash.

Guess what? I'm 50 in 3 days - on the 21st Sept. 50!!!! I have been alive for fifty fucking years. Look, it's as much a surprise to me as I'm sure it is to you. Anyway, I'm having a couple of get togethers over the coming months and I don't want any presents. I'm just at that age (oh, here she goes with the 'at that age' quotes - stay with me folks....) when I don't need any more 'shit' - know what I mean?

So why the Go Fund Me? Well, as many of you know, I've had a bit of a "doozy" couple of years. Moving jobs, towns, dealing with anxiety (all three of us - and the bloody dog!), the relentless, exhausting job of keeping three humans, one dog and a budgie alive, fed and watered - it's been a vibe let me tell you. I think I've done not too bad a job for the most part, but honestly, it's been a slog and my physical and mental health have both paid a hefty price. Whoever is in charge of the fan that throws shit at people, has most definitely had it pointed directly at me, for what has felt like a fucking eternity. My internal management has called many times in recent years, to inform me that the light at the end of my tunnel, has not only been switched off, but has in fact been discontinued, ripped out of its socket and stomped on. My get-up-and-go, has got up and left. And I'm too bloody exhausted to go and look for it! I was diagnosed ADHD (still riding that roller-coaster!) and with an auto-immune disease this year too. All things came to a bit of a head a few months ago, and I was put on leave from work, with extreme burn-out and exhaustion. My whole body imploded - and then it puffed up - I've got the photos to prove it!

One good thing to happen earlier this year, of course, was I finally saved enough for a deposit for my own wee hoose. And that's where this Go Fund Me comes in.

My garden.

Or lack thereof.

I have mud. Hard-as-rock, heavy clay soil that I can't even get a spade into. Then there's the leftover builders rubble and bits of plastic from when the house was built and to cap it all off - weeds the size of your heid. Bet you're all jealous now eh!

If you know me, you'll know how much I love to garden. It's my happy place. And it's cheaper than my shrink! But as Marie Kondo would say, it is most definitely not 'sparking any joy' in my life at the moment.

I had a few pennies saved when we first moved, to at least get it level and put some healthy soil down- you know, so the dog could actually go out there and take a crap. Then the winter bills came, the interest rates shot up and my savings were soon swallowed keeping me and my sprogs warm and fed. And I wouldn't have had it any other way.

However, I desperately want to get something done before summer - and by 'something' I mean anything. I dream of being able to actually walk outside without having to hold onto various things so I don't topple over. And one day I might even be able to plant a wee tree.

So if you'd like to wish me a happy burpday, then please - no pressies. But, if you do have a spare buck to contribute towards a wee stepping stone, or a native shrub, or a wee tree for the dog to sit under, then that would be bloody ace. But no pressure. Life is hard at the moment for almost everyone I know, so I get it.

It's going to take years and a buttload of money to get the garden going, but I just need a wee bit of help to get it started.

Thanks

Much love

Ash x x