ASHES


"I’ve entered into a fantasy war—a fantasy war being something I can’t see or control.” -Howard Ramer
(from an audio recording discussing his cancer)


This project is inspired by my grandpa, Howard, who has spent the last year and a half of his life battling cancer. Last summer I began visiting him often, talking to him, learning his life story, recording hours-long conversations; and I observed how he experienced his life slowly dissipating. He talked about when he was a kid and dissected becoming an adult. He talked about marriage and financial struggle and demonstrated great pride in having gotten to where he is today, regardless of health. I learned that my grandfather’s story is about an old man whose memory of youth is the bit of life he can still hold onto, and that is the story I want to tell.


Still from "Ashes"
Sam Denton (role of Young Howard)

STORY

Howard, an old man whose health has begun to affect his quality of life, fantasizes over a childhood memory in which he was playing with fire. When his wife, Audrey, says that he is not well enough to take her out to breakfast in the morning, he stays up late. In a state of both helpless frustration and late night delirium, he attempts to reclaim his youth by striking matches once again.


PRODUCTION STATUS

Believe it or not, "Ashes" is already entirely shot and is in the early stages of post-production. During November and December in a rural area of central New York, my patient cast and bold crew followed me through perilous wind, rain, and snow to the home of very gracious friends who allowed us full access to complete this passion project. Now, with the footage sitting in front of me, I am ever closer to achieving a finished product.

Teaser for "Ashes"
Created from projections of 8mm family footage


FILM SCANS, DEBTS, AND DISTRIBUTION

"Ashes" must be ready to screen by May, but in order to get there, there are many expenses that need to be taken care of. The $4500 goal of this page is set up in order to accomplish three major things:

1. Film Scans
A vital sequence to the short requires the high quality digital transfer of archival 8mm footage of my grandparents from the early 60s. As a unique combination of documentary and fiction, the scans will be used to depict a montage of memory as part of a dream. The nearly 1200 feet of 8mm film is expensive to transfer, but as a necessary piece to edit the short, this is what the money will go toward first.

2. Debts
As mentioned before, "Ashes" is already entirely shot! However, this was only accomplished through generous loans which helped cover the expenses of art direction, special effects, transportation, meals, etc. While this film was produced on an extremely low budget, I still need help to afford the cost of my creation before I can spend more money to distribute it.

3. Distribution
In May, when this film is at long last completed and ready to share with the world, the remainder of the donations will be spent explicitly on the distribution of this film to festivals around the world. I have made several films that I am proud of, but I truly believe that this film is going to say something to someone. If I meet my goal, I will have enough to submit my short film to a vast array of festivals that support pensive and artful filmmaking.


WHY HELP ME?

So, I am a young man getting ready to graduate from college making a film about people who are ill and retired, and those close to me who know what I and so many others have been working on may just see me as a crazy pyro-maniac with a camera and a few lights. But this project is beyond my vision and beyond my aesthetic choices. This is a film about people. This is not just for my grandpa, but for the people who live all their lives only to reach an age where they lose the autonomy of being people. It is a study of that struggle both internally and externally, as well as a response to it: control can not determine quality of life, appreciation for life already lived does. By donating to this project, you are supporting the endeavor to validate those who feel they have lost their quality of life, and aside from any grandiosity, you are supporting my family to continue fighting the "fantasy war."

ALL PEOPLE WHO DONATE TO THIS FILM WILL RECEIVE CREDIT AS A DONOR!


SET PHOTOS
(All names listed left to right of frame)

Taken by Aryaman Gautam Khanna
Justin Ramer (Director), Chuck Teska (role of Howard), Brenda Redmond (role of Audrey)


Taken by Tori Valentine
Justin Ramer (Director/me), Notes Thunnyahnondha Kaewbaidhoon (Script Supervisor/Make-Up Artist), Eliot Grigo (1st Assistant Camera), Henry Grenier (Director of Photography), Forrest Vreeland (Key Grip)


Taken by Tori Valentine
Aryaman Gautam Khanna (1st Assistant Director), Danielle Ring (Producer)


Taken by Aryaman Gautam Khanna
Chuck Teska (role of Howard), Sydney Tracey (Script Supervisor/Production Assistant), Ing-Ye Wu (Sound)


Taken by Tori Valentine
Connor Burns (Grip), Grace Cannon (Gaffer), Mike Koslov (Best Boy G&E)


Taken by Aryaman Gautam Khanna
Chuck Teska (role of Howard), Christina McDonagh (Art Director), Notes Thunnyahnondha Kaewbaidhoon (Script Supervisor/Make-Up Artist)


Taken by Tori Valentine
Ing-Ye Wu (Sound)