Ariel's Recovery: A Family's Call for Help

Hello, Our family is in need of help in weathering the perfect storm.

In January of 2024, Ariel suffered a devastating series of strokes that were triggered by a vehicle accident about a month prior which caused injury to her left internal carotid artery. On Jan 8, 2024, she started slurring her words during lunch and due to previous training, I assessed the situation as a possible stroke and called 911. After stabilizing treatment at the local hospital, she was rushed to a nearby stroke center with the understanding that she would need surgery to repair the dissection to her artery. Within minutes of arriving at the stroke center and evaluation in the neuro-cardio ICU, Ariel had another, much more impactful stroke. I watched the woman I loved being rolled into the surgical wing, curled up in the fetal position, unable to communicate and shaking uncontrollably. The surgery lasted over 4 hours, with devices run from her groin and into her brain to remove the clots and try to repair the damaged artery. Normally patients undergoing this are kept awake for safety purposes, so that doctors can know if they are touching something they shouldn't and are able to work around. Ariel had to be put under because about the time they were getting the first device into her brain, she started convulsing and vomiting on the Operating room table. The doctors had no idea from that point on if/what they were causing damage to, only that they had to get the clots out to save her from death or being brain dead from the loss of blood flow to critical areas.

The surgery to save her life was a success, with one of the surgeons explaining after they completed the procedure that she was far from out of the woods as they were unable to repair the artery the way that they had sought to but that the improvised stint might work. He also explained that there was a very high risk of complications and changes because of not knowing if or what damage had been caused by the devices used to remove the clots from deep within her brain. The following morning a follow up scan showed that the makeshift stint in her neck had already completely clotted through and I was given 2 options, for Ariel to go back into the OR for another extremely dangerous surgery to try and unclot and re-repair the dissection, or to accept that that artery was a loss and simply treat with medication to try and prevent it from throwing more clots to the brain. The risks of both were very high and the doctors refused to give a recommendation on either, as the surgery might very well kill her that day, or the loss of bloodflow could kill her in the next few days, an impossible choice but I did what I believed Ariel would want, to see the kids again, and I told the doctors to treat with medication and we would hope for the best.

Hoping for the best seems to have worked out for the most part. We and many of our friends prayed and hoped for a miracle, that she would be able to be herself again, we got that miracle. Ariel made an amazing physical recovery and somehow, managed to walk out of the Neuro-Cardio ICU only 6 days after a series of strokes that would have killed her if not for the rapid medical and surgical intervention she received. She retained core body functions and some fine motor skills and those were helped along by PT/OT that she attended after getting out of the hospital. She is able to walk and do most things an average person can do on an average day from a mechanical standpoint, as long as she doesn't exceed the 10 lb lift limit that has been imposed on her for the remainder of her life due to the stint which remains in her neck, surrounded by a massive, permanent clotted artery.

Ariel started back to work about a week after she got out of the hospital, with her hours as a regulatory accountant slowly rising as she regained control of her right arm and the ability to type. It was a temporary relief. Around June-July, it became apparent to her and her employer that she was completely unable to retain details from any casework that she was assigned after the stroke, and that the only work she was even remotely able to do were things that she had read up on or been working on before the stroke occurred. It became very apparent that the amount of detail and accuracy in working as a financial and regulatory expert was more and more out of Ariels reach, and that despite the accommodations and daily help from her company, there was no possible way for her to succeed in the industry at all with her inability to manage basic numbers. It was agreed upon by Ariel and her employer that it would be best for her to leave the company and seek long term disability. This process was started in December of 2024 and she is currently unemployed and awaiting review by SSDI.

To make things much worse, Ariel had moved to Pennsylvania from Kentucky in 2023, having uprooted her entire life to follow love and the promise of family and life in the private sector. She had invested her life savings into rescuing our family home during 2023, having installed a new furnace as the old one was leaking and risked the boiler rupturing, repairing a collapsing driveway, purchasing a new fridge as the old one failed, and numerous other projects and investments to make the house back into a family home. As with the house, she also invested heavily into the family itself, having helped me work up the guts to challenge my ex wife for equal custody of my 3 children and when the request was refused, Ariel has been helping support the ongoing legal battle that was initiated against me for asking to have more than 1 day a week (which was often taken back at the ex's convenience) with my kids. While Ariel had worked out plans with her company for Ariel to manage an entirely new division of the business and expand their market into Pennsylvania, with expected incomes to start around 150-200k per year, the strokes have destroyed that future in its entirety.

Ariel and I had plans, plans for travel with the kids to far-away lands, to explore the sights and scenic locations of America and eat wonderful street food from all over the world. Now, with the brain damage she has for life, she is unable to handle temperature variances, her body now lacking capillary responses and the ability to sweat as needed. Her body is unable to handle changes in temperature, her lifelong weight lift max is 10 lbs, and her mental state is greatly diminished from where it was pre-stroke. She is totally unable to drive and requires supervision to bathe or cook as she tends to burn herself in silly ways from forgetting that things are hot. My status as a permanently disabled veteran is thankfully enough for me to be with her and help her to continue functioning in a home environment.

Further compounding the financial situation, the ongoing custody battle made a drastic turn for the worse after my Ex offered a full 50/50 custody split for the 2 daughters which was put in a permanent order in August. While I should have expected this, as the ink was drying it became apparent that my ex only seemed to care about the order if it benefited her. There have been massive incidents and a lot of harm has come to my daughters mental states due to things that the ex has done and failed to do, despite court orders requiring her to behave. At current, both girls refuse to return to their mothers house due to serious concerns about safety and stability and we are pushing every legal avenue to ensure that they are protected and their futures are kept intact. More than that I cannot comment on due to ongoing litigation.

While the situation seems dark, and honestly it very much is, there is hope and reasons to celebrate. While the future that Ariel and I had hoped for is gone forever, the girls have watched the situation closely and have embraced Ariel as a permanent part of their lives. Ariels personality and love of life survived the stroke and surgery in its entirety, literally the one thing that we all prayed would be spared ended up coming through better than ever. The healing process has been fruitful in that even with the wealth gone, the kids see that Ariels love for them is genuine and they love her for it. She is their precious AAAAAWWWWWWIIIIIIIIIIIEEEEEELLLLLLLLLLLLLLL for all eternity. As much as she laments what has been lost, her life's work and career taken from her, she is kept motivated by the fact that she has gained the ever-loving affection of the kids and has become a driving force in helping prepare them for their own futures. It seems that the universe does have some balance after all.

Currently, we are on a sinking ship. While there is much more to this story, good and bad, I hope that this helps explain the gravity of our need for help. The budget is and will be unstable until Ariel's SSDI is approved or she receives the damage settlement from the auto accident which triggered this cascading disaster, whichever comes first. The oil tank that heats the house is only about 1/4 full, and between trying to keep debts caught up and mounting bills for legal and physical needs, we are rapidly slipping below the waves. What should have been a combined income year of over 200k has instead become a panicked rush to find and sell off anything of value that can be done without, up to and including Ariels car that she had inherited from her grandfather. We have run out of things to sell and we have cut all the corners on the budget, we are at the point where we have to suck up our pride and ask for help.

We thank you for the time taken to read this.