I’d like to start off by saying I hate asking for help. It’s not in my nature to do so. I’ve been hesitant to start a GoFundMe because it feels like admitting defeat & feels shameful.  However, I’ve been assured by some dear friends that this isn’t shameful & my feeling defeated is something I need to just “get over”.  This is for my MOM & her situation is one that arose through no fault of her own nor mine. It’s heartbreaking on so many levels & my mom is now in a very desperate situation. 

  My mom, Ann Hancock, is 85 years old & quickly disappearing into the ugly abyss called Alzheimer’s. My mom, like many seniors, is starting to fall through the cracks of our ridiculous government requirements for financial assistance. She needs help. In a nutshell...there is no financial assistance from ANY government entity for the elderly UNLESS they make less than $910 a month in Social Security, have depleted ALL THEIR RESOURCES & assets & need skilled nursing. Medi-Cal will then step in & assist with the cost of care for skilled nursing.  My mom does not make less than $910 a month in SS, but HAS depleted every single resource & all of her assets (of which there was very little after my dad died in January, 2017) & is not in need of skilled nursing...yet.  The elderly who have EARNED their way in this country & lived to see their later golden years are at the bottom of the totem pole. I have learned about the inequities of our failing system by personally navigating through it while trying to help my dad before he died. I’ve never been so disgusted & angered by how very little concern is put forth to care for those who cannot care for themselves anymore. It angers me to no end! THAT is shameful!

  My mom, Ann, was a Registered Nurse her entire career, caring for others with the utmost compassion & diligence.  She loved being a nurse & helping others. It was just part of her nature. My mom was a kind, loving, thoughtful, funny, generous, empathetic, giving, selfless, smart, conscientious & amazing mom, wife, sister, daughter, Nurse & friend. Throughout my life I’ve been told, “Meg, your mom is so sweet!” “Meg, your mom is one of the nicest people I’ve ever known.” “Meg, your mom is just the best & I love her!” It was never more evident when she turned 85 in March & was bombarded by gifts & cards. I had asked my friends on Facebook if they’d like to send my mom a birthday card. Friends who grew up with me & spent time at our house, as well as friends I’ve made that don’t know my mom jumped on board & sent her birthday wishes in droves! Those simple but thoughtful gestures pleased to her to no end. She was in tears as she read the cards & enjoyed all the gifts. Such kindness was bestowed upon someone who was always to kind to others. I guess the one silver lining about Alzheimer’s is she will re-read the cards & feel that love & joy all over again as if it was the first time reading them. I’m so very grateful that folks took the time to send my mom such love. That is a gift I will always treasure.

  I cherish my mom & watching her slowly slip into the depths of Alzheimer’s is absolutely heartbreaking. She cannot reminisce about special times & memories or keep a fluid conversation. There are rare occasions when she is not confused & seems to be “my old mom before Alzheimer’s” but those times are fleeting. Over the last 5 years the changes I’ve watched her brain go through are too many & too sad to even list here. It is tearing my soul apart. It’s a slow torture to witness & worse for her because in the beginning she knew her brain wasn’t “behaving properly” as she put it. Now she is unaware that her brain is betraying her. Alzheimer’s literally creates holes in the brain. I am now the “keeper” of our memories & it’s just so sad. My mom is at a stage now where she is getting worse by the day. Despite this, my mom is happy, grateful for her blessings & in a very safe & secure environment where she can be cared for with kindness & love. I can’t believe we got so lucky getting her into this much desired & excellent board & care home.

  My mom is almost out of the very little extra money she had after my dad died. This money supplements the difference in her Social Security check & her rent each month. I cannot move her to another location...again. Moving someone with Alzheimer’s is very difficult for the person & creates even more confusion, thus advancing the destruction of the brain. She’s been at a few facilities & has been forced to move due to the rising costs that she just couldn’t afford. Elderly care is insanely expensive. She even lived with my family in our home for 6 months to save some money. But her needs became more than I could meet. I’m grateful I gave it my best shot. I owed her at least that.
 
  Each month my mom will now be short approximately $700. My husband & I have helped her a great deal financially butp we are tapped out. Now I am begging for help from you. Every penny counts & would be lifesaving to my mom so she can stay where she is. My gratitude for whatever is donated is beyond measure. If I could raise my goal, that would ensure she can continue to receive the care she has earned, deserves & desperately needs for approximately 12 more months. Alzheimer’s is unpredictable & no one has any clue how quickly or slowly it will cause her demise. But for now, I’m enjoying & cherishing my beloved mom as she did for me when I needed HER. This is what we are supposed to do for our parents.

  With love & appreciation,
  Megan Lewallen

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