Dear friends and kind donors,

Just a quick update and a huge 'thank you' for helping me reach my goal. Unfortunately, I'm still stuck in this health limbo and desperately require further support.

Since I last updated this, not much has changed. I restarted chemotherapy a couple of weeks ago but this time at a lower dosage. Luckily this lower dose seems to reduce nausea; in fact I realized that the anti-nausea meds I was on were increasing the side effects so I stopped. On the meds, I had terrible stomach problems and zero appetite and I've now got down to under 100 lbs, which is horrible. This has made me so weak that taking care of myself has become a real challenge. Since coming off the meds I've had a tiny bit of an appetite but it's really hard to eat enough to gain any weight.

The good news is that the smaller tumors in my brain were no longer visible on my latest PET scan; but the bigger tumor in my sinus is unchanged, and I've only just got a consultation with the ENT doctor for a possible biopsy and surgery, this is happening on 24th December ie: Christmas Eve.

All of this has really affected my mood negatively. I think I've managed to keep fairly cheerful considering, throughout all this, but last week I got into a very dark place. Everything seemed hopeless and endless (it's been over two years since the diagnosis and since I've been able to have anything resembling a normal life.) I'm currently making a concerted effort to do my meditations and to think positive, but it's really started to weigh heavily on my soul.

All of this is compounded by the Christmas season and the fact that I'm alone most days and completely out of money. I don't know how I'm going to pay my rent at this point. I've been living incredibly frugally, but everything is so expensive and I'm panicking. I keep hoping for a miracle, but thus far, no miracle has occurred.

I hate asking for help. I've done it so much, but I have no choice. I have no other means of support. The small amount I was left by my dad has gone a long time ago, and any unemployment I was due was eaten up by the pandemic. I know begging for help is not sustainable in the long term, but I'm praying this ENT doctor will be able to remove this large tumor and I'll finally be able to get back to a normal life, and to start working again.

Thank you to every one of you that has helped thus far, no matter how small. Every little helps. And thank you for sharing my fundraiser on social media and for your kind messages of support. I sometimes feel very much alone, so any human contact feels like a gift, especially at Christmas. I'll be alone this year with my lovely dog, sweet protective Grommet. I don't know what I'd do without his company.

Merry Christmas and Happy Hannukah, I hope you all have a wonderful time. Please help if you can, I know how hard times are for everyone.

Love always, Annabel xxx