Recently, I was doing sunrise yoga on a beach with my dear friend Liz Wang. The instructor did a guided meditation at the end, in which he asked us what we would do differently if we knew we only had a few more years to live. My answer was clear to me - I would put more consistent time and energy into finishing my book. Since then I've been setting aside time each week to do just that.

For any of you who don't know, I've been working on a book for many years on the topic of how we can better build secure attachment through community. The title of my book is "Vast Love: Building Secure Attachment Beyond the Couple Bubble". In our individualistic culture, we have an alarming epidemic of loneliness, anxiety, and depression. We're pack animals, with nervous systems that regulate through connection. Yet we're currently living very out of tune with our animal natures. It's my deepest passion to work towards seeking solutions for helping people find more consistent and secure senses of belonging in community in the context of our modern world.

Nearly all of the literature out there about attachment theory focuses on romantic relationships as the primary way that we should seek security in our lives. But the current nuclear family, couple-centric model is falling short in many ways. I'm working on designing a large-scale research study to inform my book, with the goal of furthering insight about how attachment defenses and needs show up in our lives in the context of platonic relationships and community. And with your help I could be ready to roll with starting my interview process this summer.

I often struggle to ask for help because I've been trained by our culture that it's strong to go it alone. But Liz reminded me that community is about giving and receiving, and she suggested that it would honor the values I'm espousing in my book to brave the vulnerability of asking for a little help from my friends so I can actualize this dream. I feel a knot of anxiety in my stomach writing this, but the truth is that I know we are stronger and more capable together. I also truly believe that this research could offer sincere value for helping people figure out how to better nourish more meaningful senses of belonging. I also think that accepting funding could put a fire under my ass for following through with making this research happen, and that may be even more helpful than the funds themselves.

By offering even a few bucks towards this it would be a really meaningful vote of confidence to me that you believe I'm capable of actualizing this dream. And if you don't have money to offer, it would mean just as much to me to get a supportive message from you and/or a check-in down the road about how my research and writing is going.

All of the time I'll put into this project will be unpaid. Any funds gifted will go towards the below things:

If anyone who donates (or sends me a supportive message) would like to receive updates as the research unfolds, just let me know your email address and I'll add you to an email list for getting updates on my findings and free writing excerpts along the way (about one email per season).

Thanks for being part of my community. If you're reading this, I love you and appreciate you very much (even if we've only connecting briefly). Thanks for existing and for offering the unique one-of-a-kind gifts to the world that you do. :)