Anfield to Hillsborough bike ride HSA 6th June 2025

November 2023: I was suffering from classic burnout. It was at this point when my memories of the 1989 Hillsborough disaster decided to come flooding back and I was an emotional wreck. The memories were so powerful and painful that I couldn’t even begin to speak about because I was completely choked and couldn’t get my words out, I even started reliving my Hillsborough experience in my sleep.

In order to get back to work I had some counselling sessions provided by work which were mostly around burnout and stress . At the start of these sessions and at my lowest point, the counsellor identified that I may have been suffering from "survivors guilt" and we agreed that I should deal with that as a separate issue once I was feeling better, back to work and strong enough to take the next step.

I returned to work Mid-January 24 and promised myself that I would finally deal with the subject I'd been bottling up for 35 years. After spotting the fantastic HSA flag on the Kop at Anfield, I thought the best place to start would be to contact the Hillsborough Survivors Support Alliance, to see if they could offer any help and advice on which direction to go in.

The response from HSA was incredible. With my consent I was instantly added to a WhatsApp group for survivors, all sharing their experiences and providing huge support for each other. Within the next 24 hours I had an appointment for an initial therapy assessment and was offered a course of targeted therapy, designed by survivors, for survivors.

Two weeks later I attended my first of three sessions and the benefit was massive. As well as confronting my demons and diminishing my mis-placed guilt of survival, I also managed to piece together some additional facts from that fateful day which had been vexing me for years. Piecing it all together is an ongoing process through the HSA monthly meetings. The whole process has given me great closure and I can now talk freely to people about it, so many positives have come from this. All of the therapy and support was provided free of charge by the HSA…

As a result I have a desire to give something back to HSA so that other survivors can benefit from the same therapy and support. The plan is to cycle 85 miles from Anfield to Hillsborough with a great bunch of lads from work, many of who also played a hand in my recovery from burnout.

Please feel free to share my story far and wide, HSA motto: unity is strength. 

Many thanks, 

Colin, pen 3 survivor.