And I say... Yeah. Again.
But I need help.
A number of years ago, I got sepsis. You’ve probably heard me tell the story – how my cat, Daisy, saved my life. What I’ve not mentioned is that I had no medical insurance at the time. I was in the hospital, in ICU, for weeks. About four months later, I got pneumonia and was on a ventilator, again, in ICU for weeks. Again, no insurance.
Frankly? I ran away from all of that. I left DC and moved to Indy. I left those absolutely unpayable, nauseating bills in my wake. Naively, I thought they would get written off by the gigantic hospital system. But, they didn’t. They have now found me and I’m utterly bereft. And broke.
This is not anyone’s fault but my own. Well, and the government that allows people to lose everything like this. You can’t outrun bill collectors. They will find you. They will ruin you.
I have been keeping my head above water for awhile. Barely. I have no credit cards, having worked for years to pay them off. I came to you before when I had major catastrophes. This time, the catastrophe is that life and denial caught up with me.
I’ve been purposefully putting good out in the world, to try to change the world, and my own reality, into a more positive place. It’s working emotionally. But financially, I feel like I’m dying. I can't breathe. I’ve borrowed from friends, which feels horrible. For the past month, I’ve lost 20 lbs eating one meal a day. The 20 lbs has been great. The hunger has not.
I thought this paycheck was the one when I would finally catch up. Not be ahead. But be able to pay my bills and buy myself a decent lunch. But instead, I found an almost empty account.
Again. This is on me.
I’m clearly horrible at handling finances.
But right now I’m scared.
So I am putting my pride aside and basically reaching out for a hand.
If I had a partner in life, this would be a whole lot easier. Being alone is really painful at times like these. So… you guys are filling that place, emotionally, and perhaps, financially. If you can help, anything would be appreciated. I know you’re tired of me asking for help. I’m beyond exhausted and embarrassed. But my options are limited. So here we are.
Thank you for your time and love.