For those unaware, my best friend suffered an amputation some four months back. I am attempting to help with his recovery as he deals with both this life altering event and the emerging effects of Alzheimer's.

Let's start with some very good news.

Tuesday of this week, we had a major breakthrough that, with a little bit of luck, looks very much like it may make John returning to the boardinghouse a feasible option, and may happen next week!

The physical obstacles mentioned farther down have been dealt with, but the much bigger news is that, thanks to an acquaintance, a nurse has been found that is available to serve as John's full time nurse at the boardinghouse, as they require.

There will be some lag between her beginning to work with John and IHSS approving funds for the care, so a major aspect of the GoFundMe will be funding the first month or so of her services out of pocket.

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The scorecard as of today,

The beginning of January will mark four months since this began. Both John and I are way past exhausted.

The second and third surgeries were necessary to deal with an infection in the remainder of his leg.

By my layman’s estimation/observation, I lay fault at the feet of the first nursinhg facilty. None of John’s medical personnel I have spoken with have disagreed.

Thankfully, the surgeries were both successful.

Not long after, John was discharged from the first Skilled Nursing Facility.

Unexpectedly, he was released to the boardinghouse where he was a resident before this began. I moved back in for a few days to help John get resettled.

However, it was clear from the beginning things were not going well. Navigating the physical environment was difficult, with at least one serious impediment that represented a real hazard, and very much heightened by John's cognitive impairment.

On the second day, an In Home Health Worker from Kaiser visited to examine and care for John.

He got no farther than a bedside cognitive test to assess John before, in consultation with a supervisor over the phone, he told us that he could not authorize in home treatment for John due to physical problems in the boardinghouse environment, exacerbated by John’s cognitive issues.

On his recommendation, I took John back to Kaiser for assessment by one of their psychologists. He then recommended John return to a new Skilled Nursing Facility, where he is today, until he can be placed in a living environment with full time skilled nursing care.

John, finally, began receiving some rudimentary attention to his cognitive issues, but it was unfortunately very short lived. So that battle goes on.

Unfortunately, even the most affordable of other available options would leave John with almost nothing left from his monthly income.

Putting pencil to paper, I have managed to find a way to navigate a budget based on John selling off his remaining belongings he has in storage, eliminating that bill, along with me chipping in $100 a month from an expense I'll eliminate from my budget soon.

As soon as I can, I'll also be attempting to introduce the idea of a “payee service” to manage John’s budgeting on a month to month basis.

John in the past has been very resistant to relinquish control to anyone, but the organization that's been recommended to me specializes in working with older clients, so I'm hoping they’ll be able to frame their services in a way that is non-threatening.

One goal is to put aside a $600 “safety fund/net” for John’s rent in case anything were ever to happen to me and I was unable to supplement his rent. Providing time for whatever adjustments need be made.

As I’m able, I'll be adding to the set aside to build it further.

There will also be a portion of the funds raised used to help me recover from the months of $60.00 round trips these past months to visit John at the nursing facilities.

The visits have been necessary for two reasons. First, to bolster John’s emotional well being during this ordeal. He's made of stern stuff, but going through a life changing ordeal like this entirely alone would be an enormous grind for anyone.

And it's been a harsh, eye opening lesson, but the presence of an attentive advocate for a patient makes a world of difference.

Without engaging in a deep dive dissection of the ‘whys and wherefores’, having someone being on hand to take notice of such things as missed or delayed medications and even meals, and care that can be less than optimal, is beyond valuable.

I have had to intercede in instances of all of the above. From a nurse trying to use an incontinence diaper as a dressing on John’s leg, to calling the nurses' desk from home after John has called me to let me know that his surgical site had begun to bleed and he could not get the attention of a nurse for forty five minutes.

I wish I could say it's an exaggeration, but in all three settings John has been in, including Kaiser, I have been witness to patients crying out loudly for attention for hours at a time. When I am able to make my presence felt as John’s advocate, he is not one of them.

Sometimes it requires diplomatic team building. Sometimes good humor and commiseration. And very occasionally, just a hint of a sheepdog's growl.

I had hoped there would be funds from the previous GoFundMe

available to pay the outstanding registration on my car so that I would be able to start using it again.

Unfortunately the figure I was given to do so was out of date. The actual amount was $300 more, $1,000.

In the interim, the amount that was originally earmarked for that has been eaten away at by the cost of other means of transportation to visit John.

Even at just twice a week, the visits have chipped away at those resources fast. Social services has, and still is, looking for low income transportation resources, but so far neither I nor them have found anything cheaper than the usual regular suspects.

The $60.00 round trips to see John at the Skilled Nursing Centers has taken a toll on my budget.

Hurdles still lie ahead. Talk of a prosthetic for John are just beginning.

Looking back to my broken back, that started the year and continues on, to John's amputation, both John and I are hoping for brighter horizons to come in the new year.

Thank you all.

Jeff Miller