Amy's BIND Recovery: A Call for Support

Hi friends, family, and kind strangers,

This isn’t easy for me to write. For years, I thought I was just getting older. The creeping symptoms—fatigue, anxiety, daily headaches, waves of nausea, body-wide muscle tension, and unexplained neuropathy—slowly chipped away at my energy, my creativity, and my confidence. I blamed stress. I blamed my schedule. I blamed myself.

I had no idea I was in tolerance withdrawal—a condition where the body becomes dependent on a prescribed medication and begins to malfunction even while still taking it.

In September 2024, my doctor told me it was safe for me to stop taking the medication I had trusted for years, alongside the trust I had placed in my doctor. I thought I was doing the right thing for my health.

But the guidance I followed led me straight into acute withdrawal—a crash so severe it nearly ended my life. I spiraled into a state of constant pain, terror, and dysfunction. I began writing my will—not because I wanted to die, but because I had no quality of life and truly believed my condition might kill me before anyone figured out how to help.

The name for what I’m living with now is BIND—Benzodiazepine-Induced Neurological Dysfunction—and it has completely upended my life.

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What is BIND?

BIND is a long-lasting, often debilitating neurological condition caused by benzodiazepines (and related medications like z-drugs), even when taken exactly as prescribed. These medications are commonly given for sleep, anxiety, or muscle tension—but they are not intended for long-term use. Prolonged exposure can injure the nervous system, and for some people, stopping them—even slowly—can lead to months or years of symptoms that make basic functioning nearly impossible.

It’s also important to clarify:

BIND is not addiction. Addiction involves craving a substance and compulsive use despite consequences. BIND is the result of physical dependence—a medical and neurological injury that can happen to anyone. I never abused these medications. I didn’t want to be on them forever. I didn’t even want to take them in the first place. I wanted more than anything to be free of them—and I still do.

Despite this, BIND is not recognized in the DSM-5, and many doctors still deny or misdiagnose it. According to a 2018 survey by the Alliance for Benzodiazepine Best Practices, more than 50% of long-term benzodiazepine users experience debilitating symptoms lasting months or even years after discontinuation. Thousands of people suffer in silence simply because their doctors don’t believe what’s happening to them is real. Their doctors generally will tell them that their symptoms are just their original condition and require MORE medication.

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How It Changed My Life

When I entered acute withdrawal, my world unraveled. I began experiencing:

• Skin-crawling internal vibrations and nerve pain

• Muscle spasms, tension, and crushing fatigue

• Headaches, extreme nausea, and full-body dysregulation

• Hypersensitivity to sound, light, and touch

• Hypoglycemia requiring a continuous glucose monitor and diabetic-style eating

• Episodes of tachycardia and electrolyte imbalances that force me to live as though I have POTS

• Panic, dread, insomnia, derealization, and despair

Every system in my body felt hijacked. I couldn’t eat. I couldn’t drive. I couldn’t work. The tools I’ve used for over two decades as a professional entertainer—my body, my mind, my presence—were suddenly gone.

These additional symptoms are temporary, but they show just how far-reaching BIND is as a neurological condition—it affects nearly every organ system in the body. It’s not just a mental health issue. It’s a full-body shutdown.

I tried to taper off gradually, but the advice I was given was far too fast for my nervous system. The result was a worse crash—and a condition I am now slowly stabilizing from using a more cautious, patient-led approach. I’m no longer in free fall, but healing is a long road. Every day is a fight to remain hopeful, focused, and alive.

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Why I’m Asking for Help

In lieu of birthday gifts this year, I’m asking for something far more vulnerable—support to help me stay afloat and begin to rebuild the life that BIND took from me.

I’ve drained my savings and leaned heavily on my family’s income—support I’m endlessly grateful for and deeply unsure how I’ll ever repay.

At the same time, I’ve been in the disability application process for months. Because BIND isn’t listed as a recognized diagnosis, explaining my situation to the system has been exhausting and, at times, dehumanizing. While I can work a little here and there, I cannot work consistently or predictably—and any income I earn could jeopardize my disability claim. It’s a terrifying catch-22.

That’s why I’m reaching out now—for help to cover my basic needs, medical expenses, and tools to rebuild my future.

With your support, I hope to:

• Cover ongoing medical care and specialized dietary needs

• Pay off debt from out-of-network care and therapies that insurance refused to cover

• Fund online education and certifications to help me pivot professionally as I heal

• Rebuild my career infrastructure—including a new website, marketing, branding, costuming, and props

• Support my ability to practice my skills, maintain an online presence, and stay connected to the entertainment industry until I’m well enough to return fully

Ways You Can Benefit from Donating

Your generosity isn’t just helping me survive—it’s fueling my comeback. I want to give back to those who support me, both personally and professionally. Here’s how your donation can also benefit you:

• $500+ | Show Sponsor

Become an official sponsor of one of my upcoming shows once I’ve recovered. Your name or business will be featured in promotional materials, digital programs, and recognized on my website and social media.

• $250+ | Social Media Collaboration

If you’re a small business owner, artist, or brand, I’ll feature your product or service in a dedicated post across my platforms (Instagram, TikTok, Facebook) with links and tags to help boost your visibility.

• $150+ | Graphic Design Credit

Receive a custom-designed social media graphic, logo consultation, or branding element from me as I’m able to resume limited creative projects. A great option for artists or entrepreneurs.

• $100+ | Gratitude Wall Recognition

Your name (or business, if preferred) will be listed on a digital “Wall of Gratitude” that will live on my website and potentially appear in future show credits and thank-yous.

• Potential Business Expense Write-Off

If you’re donating as a business or organization and receiving promotional benefits (like sponsorship or a social media feature), your contribution may qualify as a marketing or advertising expense. Please consult your tax advisor for specifics.

If you’re interested in any of these benefits or have a unique collaboration idea, feel free to contact me directly after making your donation. I’d love to connect and give back however I can.

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Why This Matters

This is bigger than just me. BIND has affected thousands of people around the world—many of them misdiagnosed, ignored, or told their suffering is all in their heads. I want to help change that. I want to raise awareness, educate others, and eventually share my story on stage and beyond.

I still want to perform. I still want to create. I still want to make people laugh, gasp, and feel seen.

But I can’t do it alone.

If you’ve read this far—thank you.

If you’ve shared this campaign or sent love my way—thank you.

And if you have questions about my story or about BIND, please reach out. I’m always open to honest, curious conversations.

With love and resilience,

Amy Nichols

Magician. Fighter. Survivor.

Still here.