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I'm creating this fundraiser to do something I don't like to do; ask for help. Any and all support is welcomed and appreciated. Please say a prayer for Amy and myself and share if you feel inclined to. Thank you!
Amy:
I’ve deleted this post and then gone back and re-written it probably 6 times already. What I’m about to share makes my heart ache in a way I never knew it could while also making me feel so incredibly guilty and vulnerable. Tomorrow at 0530 I will be checking in to the admissions desk at a hospital here in Atlanta, Georgia for a surgery I always dreaded I would need someday and always hoped I would never have to go through. Tomorrow, starting at 0745 in the OR, I will be undergoing a hysterectomy due to severe adenomyosis and endometriosis. Yes, you read that right - I’m 28 years old and I’m having my uterus removed. I’m losing my ability to have children naturally - for good. There’s no turning back after tomorrow, unfortunately. My surgeon will also be taking out my left ovary, both Fallopian Tubes, my appendix and possibly bringing in a general surgeon to do a bowel resection. I’m still having a lot of trouble coming to terms with the fact that I'm never going to have the chance to have children naturally. To say I feel like a failure as a woman, wife and human being would be an understatement. But I don't have a choice, my health is in such a bad state that I HAVE to have this done. I'm just slowly wasting away. For those that are close to me, you’ve seen how much I’ve increasingly suffered over the last few years. It seems that every day, week, month and year that has passed my health has only gotten even worse. Most who don’t know me don’t understand just how sick I am or quite how terrible living in this hellish condition has been. Long story short, I have been unable to work - AT ALL - since July of this year. I bleed. A lot. My body is constantly in a battle of trying to correct an ever-falling Hemoglobin due to blood clots the size of quarters and walnuts being passed rectally. The pain, one of the most deplorable symptoms of these diseases, has been absolutely 110% out of control. The terrible nausea that always seems to be present - it’s the main reason I’ve lost 25 pounds without trying. Usually I would celebrate that weight loss, but not today, for obvious reasons. The brain fog, migraines, trouble sleeping, running to the bathroom 10-20 times/day (NOT an exaggeration - thank God for flushable wipes). The list of debilitating and downright awful symptoms is too long to list here! For the past two years I have been living in and out of the hospital/emergency rooms and the only way I’m able to function IN THE SLIGHTEST has been with the help of many different kinds of medications, procedures, doctor visits and surgeries. Even with all of that - I’m still not even able to shower, cook/eat, travel or sometimes even get dressed without help from someone. I hope and pray that no one ever has to endure what I’ve had to - but at the same time, I also hope to be a ray of light and hope for those that may be suffering just like me. Those that have become PROS at faking BEING WELL. Those that are able to flash a giant smile and laugh seemingly with ease when all you really want to do is curl in the fetal position and cry while begging God for relief. Those that JUST. KEEP. GETTING. KNOCKED. DOWN. And then forcing yourself to get back up and fight some more the next day. The past few months have been especially hellish. There is no break, no pause in the symptoms. My chronic illnesses have become my full time job. To be honest, just organizing my medications takes over an hour. It’s hard for me not to feel cheated. To feel like I’ve been robbed. To feel like so many people in this world have it better and/or easier than I do. But when those negative/self pity thoughts start to creep up, I try my best to consistently remind myself that it could always be worse. And when I don’t have the fortitude to even remind myself of that, my loving and loyal husband and other loved ones are constantly there to remind me and support me in countless other ways. If you made it all the way down here - thank you for taking the time to share a glimpse into my everyday life. I’m sure you all will be just as shocked to hear the cost of the surgery as I was when I was initially told. WITH TWO INSURANCES COVERING - we are STILL expected to pay $20,000 plus. AT. A. MINIMUM. LITERALLY. I wish I was joking but that’s the honest to God truth. That’s NOT including anesthesia/lab/pathology/other miscellaneous charges/bills. The funds gained through this GoFundMe account will go DIRECTLY to paying out of pocket surgery costs and then anything leftover will be used to help cover the countless overdue bills from our daily life (car payment, insurance, food, etc). Due to my illnesses forcing me out of work, we are understandably sooooo behind in so many ways. My amazing husband is doing all he can to help keep us afloat, but unfortunately this world isn’t made for families to be sustained on one salary. Let alone families that have people who are chronically sick. I know that right now is an unprecedented and especially painful time in the world - and I don’t want to add to that. I know that there are countless others suffering as well, and I acknowledge their struggle as well as my own. If it’s possible for you to donate, that’s incredible. Wonderful. Amazing. BUT - if you are unable to, PLEASE don’t feel bad. The support and love alone help more than you know!
Amy:
I’ve deleted this post and then gone back and re-written it probably 6 times already. What I’m about to share makes my heart ache in a way I never knew it could while also making me feel so incredibly guilty and vulnerable. Tomorrow at 0530 I will be checking in to the admissions desk at a hospital here in Atlanta, Georgia for a surgery I always dreaded I would need someday and always hoped I would never have to go through. Tomorrow, starting at 0745 in the OR, I will be undergoing a hysterectomy due to severe adenomyosis and endometriosis. Yes, you read that right - I’m 28 years old and I’m having my uterus removed. I’m losing my ability to have children naturally - for good. There’s no turning back after tomorrow, unfortunately. My surgeon will also be taking out my left ovary, both Fallopian Tubes, my appendix and possibly bringing in a general surgeon to do a bowel resection. I’m still having a lot of trouble coming to terms with the fact that I'm never going to have the chance to have children naturally. To say I feel like a failure as a woman, wife and human being would be an understatement. But I don't have a choice, my health is in such a bad state that I HAVE to have this done. I'm just slowly wasting away. For those that are close to me, you’ve seen how much I’ve increasingly suffered over the last few years. It seems that every day, week, month and year that has passed my health has only gotten even worse. Most who don’t know me don’t understand just how sick I am or quite how terrible living in this hellish condition has been. Long story short, I have been unable to work - AT ALL - since July of this year. I bleed. A lot. My body is constantly in a battle of trying to correct an ever-falling Hemoglobin due to blood clots the size of quarters and walnuts being passed rectally. The pain, one of the most deplorable symptoms of these diseases, has been absolutely 110% out of control. The terrible nausea that always seems to be present - it’s the main reason I’ve lost 25 pounds without trying. Usually I would celebrate that weight loss, but not today, for obvious reasons. The brain fog, migraines, trouble sleeping, running to the bathroom 10-20 times/day (NOT an exaggeration - thank God for flushable wipes). The list of debilitating and downright awful symptoms is too long to list here! For the past two years I have been living in and out of the hospital/emergency rooms and the only way I’m able to function IN THE SLIGHTEST has been with the help of many different kinds of medications, procedures, doctor visits and surgeries. Even with all of that - I’m still not even able to shower, cook/eat, travel or sometimes even get dressed without help from someone. I hope and pray that no one ever has to endure what I’ve had to - but at the same time, I also hope to be a ray of light and hope for those that may be suffering just like me. Those that have become PROS at faking BEING WELL. Those that are able to flash a giant smile and laugh seemingly with ease when all you really want to do is curl in the fetal position and cry while begging God for relief. Those that JUST. KEEP. GETTING. KNOCKED. DOWN. And then forcing yourself to get back up and fight some more the next day. The past few months have been especially hellish. There is no break, no pause in the symptoms. My chronic illnesses have become my full time job. To be honest, just organizing my medications takes over an hour. It’s hard for me not to feel cheated. To feel like I’ve been robbed. To feel like so many people in this world have it better and/or easier than I do. But when those negative/self pity thoughts start to creep up, I try my best to consistently remind myself that it could always be worse. And when I don’t have the fortitude to even remind myself of that, my loving and loyal husband and other loved ones are constantly there to remind me and support me in countless other ways. If you made it all the way down here - thank you for taking the time to share a glimpse into my everyday life. I’m sure you all will be just as shocked to hear the cost of the surgery as I was when I was initially told. WITH TWO INSURANCES COVERING - we are STILL expected to pay $20,000 plus. AT. A. MINIMUM. LITERALLY. I wish I was joking but that’s the honest to God truth. That’s NOT including anesthesia/lab/pathology/other miscellaneous charges/bills. The funds gained through this GoFundMe account will go DIRECTLY to paying out of pocket surgery costs and then anything leftover will be used to help cover the countless overdue bills from our daily life (car payment, insurance, food, etc). Due to my illnesses forcing me out of work, we are understandably sooooo behind in so many ways. My amazing husband is doing all he can to help keep us afloat, but unfortunately this world isn’t made for families to be sustained on one salary. Let alone families that have people who are chronically sick. I know that right now is an unprecedented and especially painful time in the world - and I don’t want to add to that. I know that there are countless others suffering as well, and I acknowledge their struggle as well as my own. If it’s possible for you to donate, that’s incredible. Wonderful. Amazing. BUT - if you are unable to, PLEASE don’t feel bad. The support and love alone help more than you know!
Organizer
