Help me pay for my dad's funeral

I’m raising funds to pay for my dad’s funeral.

My dad, Rupert Prior, had a heart attack in the early hours of the 9th of September 2022 and died.

He had been diagnosed with mixed dementia in 2018 and, after a few years living without permanent housing, he was admitted to hospital at the end of January 2021 and shortly afterwards moved into a care home in West London.

My father was eligible for state-funded care. In practice, in England, that means that all his income—he had no savings and received only a state pension—except a ‘personal expenses allowance’ of £25.65 per week, went towards paying his care home fees. This allowance had to cover haircuts, the chiropodist, clothes—which he needed more frequently—as well as books and snacks and other things he liked. It cannot stretch to cover his funeral.

Although his memories became less accessible to him over the course of his illness, Rupert remained a sensitive, proud, and funny man, father, and step-father to the end. He often bragged to his friends in the care home about his ‘son the academic’ (me), expressed interest in what I was reading or writing, always asked after my siblings, and insisted on seeing the latest photo updates of my niece and my mother’s dog. Despite preferring rugby, he even genned up on Everton FC so he could ask my partner about it whenever they saw each other. I can't believe he's gone.

Funeral costs

Funerals are prohibitively expensive, but I’d really like to be able to give him a dignified send off.

The funds will cover:

Funeral director — £1650-1950

1hr service at a crematorium — £1,285

An elm coffin — £390

Hearse/cars/taxis — £390-400

3ft spray — £210

Orders of service — £150

Photo printing and display boards — £60

Room hire/food and drinks for the wake — £3-400

Excess funds

In times like these, I am not expecting to raise any funds in excess of £5000 but if I do I will likely evenly split any additional funds between other people’s funeral fundraisers (no one should have to worry about how they’re going to pay for a loved one’s funeral while grieving) and towards replacing my dad’s signet ring, which we’ve not been able to find.