Amber's Journey: Rebuilding After Tragedy

Asking for help is never easy, but when I sit back and reflect on life lately the only thing that keeps coming to mind is "swallow your pride Amber". Wanting to do what is truly best for my family right now, here I am asking for your help...

This does not come easy to me so first I want to share a part of our story. It's something I get asked about a lot, but I rarely talk about unless I feel completely safe with you. At work, clients ask me all the time, "why did you start your own business?". Typically this is when I smile and say "because I love being a mom, and my salon allows me to both work AND be there for my three children". What many of you don't know is 1,003 days ago I made a 911 call. My child had been raped by a 36 year old man. My youngest sons father. In tears and scared, I grabbed my children and drove away from our whole life that day, with nothing but the clothes on our backs. We stayed in safe housing while working with a victims advocate, the U.S. Marshals, and the Stevens County sex crime detectives closely before eventually going to live with my mother over an hour away until I could get us a house and back on our feet. My youngest son was 11 months old when we left that life behind us. The first month is such a blur, it still feels so surreal. My baby didn't get to experience his 1st birthday because his father is a child rapist. This is a special needs child who will never know his father because of what he is. The choices he made. What he did. You don't know pain as a mother until you've had to see that amount of tears coming from one of your own children. Until you've seen what I've seen. Until you've heard what I've heard. 1,003 days later that specific day still plays over and over in my head. I don't think that part will ever go away.

I spent the first year and a half teaching my children how to heal, how to survive. This last year however, I've dedicated to teaching them how to not just survive, but how to live again. If only you knew how often the smile that everyone see's day to day turns into tears as I cry myself to sleep most nights thinking about how I failed my child. How I didn't keep her safe. Two and a half years later, month after month, we still sit in that same court room staring that monster in the eyes as we fight for my child's justice. The state of Washington vs. Trevor Cartwright on one count of 1st degree child rape and one count of 2nd degree child rape. Trial is now set for January 22nd, 2025.

I share this because we left with nothing. As a mother, we do whatever it takes to provide for our children. To keep them safe. To love them. Guide them. Teach them. While fighting this case, I quickly got to work on piecing our life back together. Trying to create some sort of normalcy again. A home for us, a source of income, and slowly replacing mine and my kids belongings. This past year we also recieved some much needed answers and therpy referals for my youngest whom come to find out is Autistic. That in itself has been such a bitter sweet and unbelievably challenging to navigate on my own. Going through all of this with my daughter, raising a child with special needs and trying to navigate how to fullfill all of his physical, mental, finacial, and emotional needs, while also working full time and receiving zero financial help for my family has been increasingly demanding.

I don't ask for help. It's something that makes me feel like a failure. Shameful and embarrassed. But in our struggling economy my work has significantly slowed down. Fighting to keep my house out of foreclosure, food in the fridge, and the daily necessities for my family of four is a constant struggle. I've contemplated closing my salon doors many times in the last 3 months while I look for a second job, but I don't want all of my hard work and sacrifices this past couple of years to have been for nothing. More importantly I want to teach my kids we don't have to go through things alone or struggle in silence. That it's ok to not be ok, and to ask for help.

If you've been around me at all in the last two and a half years I thank you for being there, even if you didn't know it, while I was the most broken version of myself. Day by day I smile & put one foot in front of the other for all of you, so I can do what I need to for my family. Whether you're a family, friend, client, or complete stranger, I consider you all a part of my village & our success in rebuilding our life. So I'm asking you, my village, if you're able to help, it is so much appreciated from myself and my family in our time of need.

I've decided to set up this Gofundme account as well as attached our cashapp and venmo for those who are able to make a donation to go towards our living expenses and monthly bills for the house and salon.

I am eternally grateful.

Thank you,

Amber

$Amberose28 (cashapp)

@Mountain_Mamma30 (venmo)