Background:
Seven years ago, I was an active woman in my mid-thirties and a distinguished student in oceanographic science. I was working on independent research, continuing directly from an undergrad into my M.Sc. studies in biogeochemical oceanography (with approved funding from a prestigious NSERC fellowship, together with supplementary scholarships), as well as continuing to teach scuba diving occasionally. My diverse background strengthened both my understanding and reliability, as I drew from extensive experience in teaching, volunteering, successfully managing staff, international travel, adventurous outdoor pursuits, and even two seasons working ‘search and rescue’ for the Canadian Coast Guard.

I was a hard-working, strongly motivated, outdoorsy, fit, and very happy. Then, without warning, I was forced to give up everything I had ever worked for and dreamed of.

I got sick. Very, very sick. 

A severe and complex viral pneumonia had me bedridden for months and tried very hard to steal my last breath. Finally my lungs recovered, but I have sadly been left at the mercy of relentless chronic neuropathic pain and demoralizing cognitive dysfunctions. This physical state (now constant over nearly seven years) is expected to endure ad infinitum by all health practitioners I have seen. The stress caused by this illness, and the repercussions that it has had on my life, resulted in a drastic worsening of my vulnerable mental health. I am now also diagnosed with PTSD, severe depression and anxiety.

I have been fighting for my very survival, for hope and for my future ever since. Only diligent self-care, a very strong understanding regarding chronic pain management and psychology, and a tenacious commitment towards leading the best life still available to me have seen me through.

My best life is still incredibly challenging. Despite taking prescribed medications to manage my pain, as well as doing an average of an hour of daily meditation/Qi Gong daily, for a minimum of 25% of the time, I am primarily bedridden. At least another 25% of the time, I am housebound. When able to function, I constantly operate under the influence of stabbing pain throughout my mid-to-low back and much reduced energy levels, at the very least. Due to the fickle nature of my disabilities, I have learned to be flexible in accomplishing my essential tasks on my better days.

Before falling ill, I (like many) assumed that there were social programs in place to help those that really needed it, and that those on the street had failed to meet the requirements for those same programs. This year, 43000 people are homeless in BC, Canada alone. There simply isn't sufficient help available for those of us that (due to no fault of our own) have been rendered incapable of working to secure our survival. We need help. Unfortunately, the help available is paltry in comparison to our need. 

Every step has been arduous. Every month for the last seven years, I have faced near-impossible challenges. The stress and overwhelm are nearly incapacitating. Continuously. Not only do I constantly deal with my pain, dizziness, fatigue, confusion, memory loss, PTSD, and depression, but I am constantly under duress and scrutiny from the programs that are meant to be helping people like me.

Being resourceful and digging into a strength that I didn't even know was possible, I knocked on every door. I came up with a million different ways to meet my most basic needs, while continuing to seek help and healing. My loved ones have helped more than they should have (ie. to their own detriment).

And throughout all of this, I have kept my head high. I have fought every battle with patience, kindness and understanding. I have had terrible days, but my flame has somehow always remaied alight. I have continued to try long passed the point where the strongest throw up their hands in despair.

Last Hope Lost:
After being officially homeless for the passed year, I decided to move home to Alberta after 22 years away. (I was unable to find safe, clean, quiet accommodation to fit my disability income of $906.42/month and still be able to eat and meet my most basic needs, despite being on the high-priority, low-income housing list for two years. I also have amazing personal refences). 

Some of my family and oldest friends are in Edmonton. Plus, once I actually make it through all the bureaucracy, I should receive enough disability assistance to actually survive. Sometimes, when nothing seems to help you gain ground, big change is required. 

So, I went to Alberta to start from the very beginning with new disability assistance applications (you can't simply "transfer" from one province to another, even with seven years' worth of documentation and five years of disability assistance in BC). I have tried to prepare for a new life by stretching the use of every asset. I have pushed myself far beyond my physical capabilities for far too many consecutive weeks and months, and pushed through the resultant consequences. I made some small victories and started even looking for a place to live.

The day that I secured my first independent apartment in over a year was a glorious day filled with hope. I finally thought that everything was going to be ok. I was so excited and happy, thinking of having my own place in the world again. I dared to dream of getting my belongings out of storage and decorating a new space. 

I have been dragged through hell over and over again, but I was finally going to be awarded the dignity of a real human being!

And the BC Ministry, glad to end my disability assistance, was to help me move the belongings that I have been paying to store for the last year.

Yesterday, when I found out that they closed my account, revoked my disability status and have refused any further service (because I am now being assisted by Alberta), my spirit broke. Months ago, I sought advice on how to handle the transition properly. As advised, I asked them to hold my cheques but keep my disability status open. I did my best to be forthright with my intentions. In return, I have been criminalized. After so much hardship, this is the final straw.

I am undone. I literally no longer have an ounce of fight or hope remaining to me. 

After much consideration (and many, many tears), I decided that all but the most precious of my belongings would be going to either charity thrift shops or the landfill. I would store my few dearest things at my great friends' house, and go back to Edmonton with nothing but the clothes on my back. Literally.

In honour of those who have loved me through it all:
Several of you have asked me to do this instead. It is literally the very last thing in the world that I want to do. Opening this campaign feels like giving away my last shred of dignity. But I have to admit that I am terrified of the alternative. 

This emergency campaign aims to fund:
   *The cost of moving my stored
      belongings from Victoria, BC to the
      apartment that I found in 
      Edmonton, Alberta.
   *The cost of my medications until
      they are once again covered.
   *Groceries, general living expenses
     and transit passes for the first few 
     months in my new home.
   *Any extraneous costs associated
     with setting up my new living space.
   *Hope.
 
Timeline:
I have a week and a half remaining in Victoria. I was preparing to relinquish all of my stored belongings, except the most dear, over the course of that time. In honour of my loved ones that have asked me to do this instead, I will instead wait 1 week before doing so.

DEADLINE: March 30, 2016 
to reach a minimum of all moving and medication costs.

Anything extra will go to the above wishlist so that I may live with dignity and have food in my belly as I continue to advocate for adequate disability support. 

Personal References:
If you are not able to contribute, but do know me personally, I would greatly appreciate you leaving a personal reference so that others know this is a true and accurate account of myself and my life.

Please also feel free to forward my campaign link to anyone that you know may be interested in contributing.

GRATITUDE:
I am, in advance, grateful for any and all assistance in achieving my new beginning and reestablishing hope. I have been trying so hard to not be a burden, but it seems that I am unable to do this alone. Thank you, and blessings to all.