So there was this tweet Erika Hart shared on instagram that said the author of white fragility (who is white) charges 30k for workshops for white people to feel good about themselves and i havent known peace since. Like i've been out here sharing my knowing, my experiences on race, gender, body, decolonial exploration and processing, and whathaveyou--i've retraumatized myself, exposed my energy, my Black queer body to white and non-Black hunger and witness and im still one emergency away from poverty. i work at a bookstore and its been a wild ride to witness the desire to learn and unlearn through literature but honestly the way a white voice is still prioritized, swallows the conversation and Black voices. white people really do get paid money to talk over and through us. Like there is just a long ugly history of people giving money to white people for antiracist rhetoric or whatever it is white people think they have to offer but none of that fundage is given to Black people who live it and share their experiences (or who dont share their experiences). Money is given to white run orgs that dont support Black communities but say they do. Just give money to Black people! Yall can directly help lil ol Black me by giving funds to me so i can get a reliable car. i need it for work. Need it for future traveling. Need it to travel into the future. Having a reliable car also reroutes focus and would help get my brain moving towards creative work. I get stuck thinking about material and money and cant pattern my way out--my neurological paths just dont got the juice to undo once it loops. i'd be ever so grateful for the circulation and the support living in a white supremacist capitalist terror 24/7!