I hope everyone who reads this is taking care of themselves. You can’t take care of anyone, pay bills and all things that life requires if you never take care of yourself. It’s been an hard lesson for me to learn but with that I blame no one because it was a choice I made with the knowledge I had at that time so I’ve forgiven myself and make the daily choice to move on. 

Acceptance. Such an important word. Cancer is a difficult disease to handle both emotionally and physically because you have to accept that you don’t have much control on anything that happens to you. 

You can eat right, exercise , pray if your religious or ask your higher power as you define them if you are spiritual but in this difficult moments, there are times that you ask questions of yourself when the physical discomfort is unbearable and the mental strain leaves you asking questions about your mortality and what would be best.

I say this because it’s honest, I put on a brave face not for anyone’s benefit but for myself because that keeps me going.

I can’t walk as must as I could 2 months ago, I struggle to go up stairs and the pain/discomfort makes it hard to eat but I will never give up, I will fight until the end.

I don’t ask for sympathy because a lot of people have fought this battle before me and won or even lost with their dignity intact.

I intend to maintain my dignity and a pride that not prideful but a calmness that comes in the middle of turmoil. It’s peaceful that way no matter what happens I stay grounded as much as I can because humanity is not robotic so I do fall and then I rise with purpose and dignity.

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