Help an Autistic Mother With Severe Nerve Pain Care for Her Children and Access Medical Treatment

I'm an Autistic AUdhd mother. Medication Resistant Medical Treatment for Neuralgia Trigeminal. Oppcipatal Neuralgia block worked for now. Living outside of town with low accessibilities in a somewhat of a support safe shelter living with children. I had a chance of staying in a home close to the town for over a year but that option was not in my control. I needed accessibility and ways to have mail sent as well as stuff from Amazon or other that I have ordered. I had a lot of medical money taken away from an attorney that was paid with money I got from an incident. I went without medical for over a year and was supposed to have multiple specialists as well as occupational therapy potentially, massage and other to keep up my body. I don't sound the same anymore But I'm trying to and trying to stay more regulated and healthy so that I can keep my stress levels down. And I need to be a mother to those two very beautiful bright children. I do not have family support and I've had to live where I was capable of living on disabilities without disability. No history of work because I was a stay-at-home mother of 10 years. My children and I lived in the libraries and we were a part of all different types of things that would help them grow and go. That's one of my sayings but it's hard for me to get to grow and go like this. My children have needed more support as well and we did a GoFundMe a year ago but it only made a very small amount. I couldn't use it on medical when my children needed clothes when they were with me and we couldn't move in our home closer to town. They needed to be taken care of and have what they need for other so I sacrificed some of my medical help. I thought if I could use the money that I did get an attorney would help me. Help them and it would be worth the sacrifice. That attorney put me in debt at the time that I was already feeling unsafe in a lot of ways from the environments, falling through the cracks. Being a disabled mother I needed to be in my own environment with my children and not pushed to survive without any means to or no family support. He cost me thousands in debt and knew that I couldn't even see doctors. That took away from my family without us even having support for them sent and I kept trying to afford my medical bills. It broke my nervous system if the things before I survived did not. I do not have a victim mentality and I am not wanting anything other than what I need for support and finances for my medical care. I am not getting most equal things and I am not with any family or in a relationship where there is other funds. It has been me alone. When my children are with me and most of the time when they were gone I'm spending my weeks going to the doctors. Trying to save gas for when they are here for school. Since I live outside of town and cannot live where I needed. I had to spend more money on gas especially going to treatments 5 days a week before I ended those treatments In November. On my kids weeks I was having to drive an hour after dropping them off at school the other direction and then barely had time to have much breaks for lunch or other working full-time after treatments due to lack of insupportability. Stressing My fibromyalgia and pushing my nerves further and further into distress. I needed more help and they forced me into the workforce solution as someone with disability exemptions from different things and certain amount of hours of working physically. It pushed my body further and I kept trying to make sure that I would be okay. I did that for months at a time losing sleep and not having enough financial assistance for myself or my kids. I finally made it out to this place but it pushed me having to try to do more where I live even though I'm grateful for where I get to be and how beautiful it is. There's a little extra you have to do and if I would not have gone through so much distress, car accidents trying to make sure my kids have what they needed and trying to do medical care driving myself alone like I have for the past 6 or 7 years then I may have more easily lived out here. I'm doing the best I can and I want my kids to have a nice life with me. But now that the neuralgia is spreading it hurts very bad and it makes it very difficult to get around sometimes or think. I'm still going through a lot of distress since after my car accident and a lot of distress with other things in the background some of which no one should have to be alone with or not have the right assistance. I know that there are a few people I've reached out to but I've been trying to go to places for a very long time. I know that I wouldn't have this pain or these different things if I would have had family to move in with in a way to keep my system together. I have neuroscans of three different times for multiple different years. They showed the deterioration and what was happening and it's happening to my brain. I keep trying to fight to do different stuff and work out. So if you see someone like me with fibromyalgia going to a workout and they look fine. It's more likely that what happened the next day did. I started having different seizure and stroke like symptoms with my children here and not much close by. Now I can't go. Or have to wait for safety. Trying but then it overstressed my body even trying to take it easy. I was trying to get down my stress and work on what I did for years to keep myself regulated but now I'm stuck back at home far out of town. I'm needing enough money so that I can try to get us to a better place and try to get closer to where I can have accessibility is grocery delivery and help. The medical is already costing a lot and I don't know how long I will be allowed to be on the better insurance. It cost around $218 just for a VG and test. $50 copays. I had to drive myself because sometimes when I need to do something in the same day that I get told from the first neurologist. Someone might not be available to take me to the second one and then I'll have to pick up my kids or other. Also losing vision in my right eye so I have to make sure that I'm clearly seeing and can focus to drive. I know that I can't keep doing this and I know that money isn't all that I need. They say money isn't happiness. I do understand that to a point in depth and I do pray. But if I had money and that wasn't a financial control thing at different times in my life as well. Then I would have been able to start the massage school I want to go to to provide better on my own without family. I would have had a way to pay for a place to live. I would never need to pay for so many doctors because I wouldn't have gone through so many cracks like too many other people have. This isn't just a mother if she has children because she's a mother. Whatever was done to the mother goes and passes to the children and some of the things they go through will require more efforts from the mother to make sure that they are well and get to the specialist they need. I went to specialists for my daughter and her deaf ear with ice packs on my face. Not even really great ones until I could afford those. I made sure that she had her accommodations for school and that my son's teeth were fixed when the other ones could grow in next to them. I also went to his appointments with ice packs on my head not much support and not a lot of money going to Dallas. I still did it but because I've been doing stuff like that and continuing to push myself too hard it does kill you and it doesn't make you stronger. You watch other people and then this is what happens to you. My children and I need more help and we need open minds and open eyes. Please. I will keep praying for us and I'll keep praying for my pain. The doctors are taking a long time and it's been too many months of burning to the point to where the distress is affecting my ability to communicate and was a while ago. I'm told to call these places but I have difficulty talking. I'm told to go to this place but sometimes I'm having trouble driving. I know what we could have had if there wasn't different types of choices others made. I can't do anything about that but I can make another GoFundMe and see if it doesn't fail like the rest I made myself more than over the year. They say it takes a village to raise children. I stayed in churches and I had backs turned on us. Not everyone. Others I know where I live. I know in that I'm not alone. We are still going to church and a part of a great place. I'm trying to build a life and a support system but that's hard to do whenever you go through more pain and you can't even get the support enough to get back on your feet after an immediate separation and not enough support. I could point everybody to the millions of places I get pointed to bc I've already been going to all of them for a while. Years. I do point them to those places so they can get help. When you go to counseling twice at those places with your kids and then people point you to those places. It doesn't make you feel better and it definitely doesn't make the nerves that hurt feel better. I put the amount of donations for what it is because I don't really know how much we need and it's probably more than that. For my medical. For support while they're with their mother while I'm waiting to hear the results and for the funds so that we can hopefully get somewhere else where I can have those accessibilities. It is not okay for people to know what's going on and it is not okay for us to have to go through this. I repeat to myself everyday that it isn't my fault. And I will continue to do so and be there for my children emotionally mentally and other. Both of my children are in counseling. I made sure to set up for school and even if it was because their mom has different disabilities w/o support or easier accessiblilities. That's hard on them that is still a lot. Then they go somewhere else it's not the same. I try to provide what I can with how I can and not give up. They have nice clothes. Good shoes. Angel saved my Christmas from the Heights again. That program has done alone. I will keep trying. I will keep praying. Thank you.