Support for Alex Henderson's Widow Facing Financial Crisis

Hi Everyone,

Alexander Henderson was my husband and love of my life for 17 years. He was an incredible father, friend, and my world. He passed away on February 26.2025. I have no idea how to describe the pain and difficulty moving through the days without him. They say that when a spouse dies you die too, and part of that is true. Life as I knew it is gone. I will never be the same.

In early January he started not feeling well and put off going to the Dr. as he had started direct to a new job and was waiting for insurance but mostly did not want to make his boss mad by being sick. He was a CFO and under incredible pressure at work, always. He ended up having a small stroke that was, at the time, a blessing because it let the Drs. know that he had a heart infection that had destroyed 2 heart valves. That was on January 20th, 2025. He had open heart surgery to replace the valves on 1/27 and everything was great , he was recovering well. On February 22, we were at a hotel near his Drs. while waiting for his checkup on that Monday. He never made it. I was at work when he called to say he couldn't move his right hand. Our daughter and I jumped in the car and rushed back, calling 911 and the front desk to stay with him. Most of the time on the phone he was alert and said he felt just fine. About 5 minutes before I got back to the room he could no longer remember his name. He was able to squeeze my hand with his left hand and then he went unconscious.

I was in denial and bargaining mentally the whole time. They told me he had a catastrophic brain hemmorage and at best he would stay the way I saw him in the ER. On life support. I just kept thinking, that's ok, he will wake up, he will have some deficits, I'll be his care taker, it's OK. I can do it. I still preferred sitting in his room and touching him and talking to him while he was on life support over him being gone forever.

He had a directive that he was not to be kept on life support. They told me he wouldn't live an hour off life support. They were right. He was a donor, and they kept him on life support until the recipients were ready. On 2/26 he took his last breath at just after 7 PM with me holding his hand.

It was awful. My mind is riddled with images and trauma I cannot describe.

Now, at 5 months later, (7 since his last paycheck) all the financial fallout has hit. Tremendous hospital bills, the mortgage, car, all of it. We built our lives on 2 salaries. No matter what, things have to change.

He was not a practical man, he was a dreamer. I was the more practical one, with the life insurace policy and the savings. I often say I wish it was me, because he and all our kids would be just fine, financially. But Alex thought he would live forever and those things would come in due time.

40% of widows live below the poverty line, and the older they are, the number climbs. I'm not young. This money would go to keeping the roof over my head while the house is on the market, transportation, and the endless medical bills that some have now gone into collections. The total bills are over $400,000, insurance is still billing but so far my portion is over $40k and growing.

Alex never had a house of his own until this house out in the desert, and now we will lose everything we worked so hard for together, that he loved. It's almost impossible to describe the pain of these "secondary losses" as they are called, adding to the difficulty in managing business and money while grieving. It takes a very long time. All of this is common, and behind a portal that is unknown and closed until we become widowed.

I've seen some widows take to this platform to try and save as much of the life they built with thier loves as possible.

Now that I am looking at losing it all and not knowing how I will survive straight in the face, I get it. It's all I have left of him, and I see why they turn here to find help.

If you find it in your heart to help, gratitude doesn't even describe what I feel. It's getting a little bit of life back, and a little bit of the security Alex gave me everyday by being by my side and telling me everything is going to be ok, it's all going to work out.

Thank you,

Mimi