Yesterday, I lost my first love. Chad and I met when I was 20. He was my shift manager/trainer at Hollywood Video. We casually dated off and on for a couple years before he joined the army and I moved out of state to help take care of my mom.

Fast forward several years through a very messy, abusive relationship... We got back in touch when I just needed someone to talk to who knew me before all that mess. Within 3 months, we were together again and things were great. My 5 girls loved him to death and we were expecting baby number 6, our only boy. We bought our house, we got married the November after he was born... things were tough off and on financially with so many mouths to feed, but we made do...

He had some major struggles with expressing his feelings and reaching out. No matter how much I tried to get him to reach out to people, he was as stubborn as they come. Eventually, his demons won.

Chad and I are/were caregivers for my mom and stepdad. The pay is okish but we both only work(ed) part time hours, him receiving more hours than me. Now I'm on my own with 6 kids and a million different things to figure out as far as bills, trying to get the house put into my name since his is the only one on the mortgage stuff, as well as everyday things that the kids need such as shoes, clothes, food, etc. I'm hoping the VA will help with funeral/cremation costs but I currently have no guarantees. Anything you can spare will be a huge help as we navigate an entire new life while we grieve this humongous loss in our family.