After the fire: helping Dugald make something better

My little boat has capsized. Fire, and the old apartment block I called home with my two boys is no more. I’m saddened by the loss. For now, my 84yo mother, and Clare (the boys’ mum), and Craig (a godsend neighbour) have provided short-term housing for me, and the boys on the weeks I parent them. Each have offered sanctuary.

I’ve been uncomfortable with offers of financial help.

Friendships – my life – is not transactional. Hardship is relative. I am okay.

But last week, three things shifted my thinking. Attending a memorial service for a woman killed in a kindergarten by a runaway truck, doing what she loved, helping little people, there was a message of embracing life to its fullest. Then came a card from a school parents’ association, and its kindness made my cry. And a friend in Canberra, Cassandra, she implored me to look after myself, put myself first. (Though on Thursday I’m helping another who runs a food rescue service in St Kilda for those in need, because in my thinking if you look out for others, you’re looking after your own best interests. We are a community).

But yes, now I ask for support.

I’ll need to replace many items ruined by the fire. And in the clasp of grief, I’ve decided to take my 11yo boy by train to Adelaide (hold your children closer), stay three nights, be together, and I’d LOVE to tell him of all who might have made this possible.

Also, once I’m resettled in a new rental, I'd commit to spending any support to buy the time (rent assistance, essentially) to edit hours of film footage taken by school children, and a school dad, of a chicken house built together. Others need to see the joy it gave us. An example it set. Lives it may have changed. It will bring so much happiness; I know it will.

Donations will be acknowledged in the film credits, and I’ve been offered a cinema in St Kilda for a premier screening.

If I can, please let me give back. I’m making a big batch of my annual ‘hardwood Christmas cards.’ Some friends bring theirs out each year, and I know others keep theirs up year-round! If you’d like one, text me (0425 005 531): I’ll get as many out as possible, ideally doorstep drop-offs, by bicycle.

This is my way.

A way that feels right; that I know how to do, that connects me with others, that nourishes, inspires, offers pleasure, lets me be who I am.

Thank you.

Dugald.