Making some proactive long-term life and mental health decisions: opening the door for support from those with the financial ability to help.

This GoFundMe is for the explicit costs of a comprehensive professional assessment process that could give my self-employment life a stronger safety net and clearer path forward.

If, by some miracle, the funding goal is fully met, any overflow will go toward my animated short film “Depression’s Demonic Duration.”

Even if you’re not interested in donating, I’d still be grateful if you read this update on all things COOKERZILLA and JOSHOWENFILMZ.

Update: I’m now planning to go ahead with a comprehensive assessment with Halifax psychologist

1) INTRO

I'm an lifelong #animation #astrology #videogame artist and almost 8+ year self-employed business owner working / living in Mi’kma’ki (nova scotia)

I've had the word "unique" chucked at me many times in my life.

Depending on who says it: it either feels good or it feels absolutely terrible.

Recently, thanks to a newer friend who made me feel the opposite of terrible: I discovered the term "Neurodivergent"

My childhood was witness to a mental health system that could not help my mother who took her own life in 2009: this trauma made me reject the entire system, the science and rapidly evolving global internet conversations.

But because of the way this friend said "you might want to look into it"

I shifted... They weren't pointing a finger at me, they were extending an open hand.

Once I began to read articles discussing "neurodivergence" and its counter-part of "neurotypicality" My heart sank into a pit of despair

I discovered aspects of my form of "unique" was not wholeheartedly unique.

And when I say my heart sank, i mean it smashed through the floorboards...

But what changed was that I now had access to shared vocabulary- the since elementary school AWOL feeling got some data coordinates.

I felt a sense of community: I was not alone.

2) ADHD / ASD : Where I'm at now

Adult's experience this disorders differently than children: they are lifelong but as we age, the impact of the symptoms become more intense- the PHYSICAL effects of mental health are no longer hidden under the vigours of youth

With my artistic career and business ventures I've been fortunate in many ways but also have paid high tolls for "faking it until i make it".

The @COOKERZILLA artist journey, after a rocket fueled alphabetical string of short films hit a very hard brickwall that I believe to be a form of burnout connected to long-standing challenges I’m trying to understand more clearly.

My still work-in-progress short film "Depression's Demonic Duration" is a tribute to my mother Alison Barbara Horne : which you can learn about (sort of) as i try my best to talk about it on my podcast https://cookerzillapodcast.simplecast.com/episodes/my-saturn-return-in-pisces-adobe-animate-mewgenics-suda51-highguard-001

My #JOSHOWENFILMZ Location Sound Recording, editing business became my biggest supporter as it enabled self sustainability and a sense of gratification. And when I say the business is my biggest supporter I mean the people who see my form of "unique" and have me on their team.

This past 5 years I've been able to process and come to terms with my trauma, mental health needs on a very long healing journey: I'm trying to make this next half of the decade very different and 2026 has been proving to be the shift I prayed for- but it's been asking me to work to make that shift happen.

3) Lets talk about this GoFundMe

I've been reccomended a local Halifax option with services now booked : paying via payment plan for approx $3000

NOTE: GoFundMe takes 2.9% and 0.30 cents per donation which is why I made goal of $3500 to account for extra fee / taxes.

4) Why this will make a difference

This process could grant me as access to lifelong support that could account retroactively up to 10 years of living with (what I believe to be) these disorders which would provide some relief: specifically for a self-employed sole proprietorship / independent artist

My financial situation is a product of "fake it until you make it" as I've invested in the equipment, availability to provide freelance services. I have no safety net- but as I learn more about the support available for those with these conditions I see a responsible path forward that cuts out the "fake it" part...

Lastly: this is my first time ever asking for support via internet for a personal matter- and I intend to go through with this service irregardless of GoFundMe Support

My goal Is to invert the stigma of these "disorders" into a discussion about the crucial vitality that unique people provide in our world.

Thank you for your consideration and time reading this plea for your support.

You can also support via my #podcast Patreon / KoFi on my website

Much love,

Josherz