Hi, my name is Katie, and I turn 30 on 5th March a milestone I never thought I would reach. What I’m about to share may be difficult to read, but it is my truth.

Throughout my childhood, I survived 8-12 years of sexual abuse, my earliest understanding of what was happening being 5 years old, my brain before this point not being mature enough to be able to know the starting point. During that same time, my home life was unstable and frightening due to my father’s addiction and violence. As I entered adulthood, I experienced further sexual assaults. As a child, I learned to stay silent to survive, and that silence followed me into adulthood.

By the time I felt ready to seek justice, my main abuser had passed away, and the others were no longer traceable. There has been no closure, only the long-term impact of trauma.

Despite everything, I have worked tirelessly to build a life. I completed a BSc in Psychology and an MSc in Health Psychology. I’ve dedicated myself to understanding trauma, both to support others and to understand my own brain and nervous system.

I live with Complex PTSD, depression, anxiety, and severe body dysmorphia. I am often described as “high functioning,” but that doesn’t reflect the internal battle I face daily. I meditate, take prescribed medication, exercise when my energy allows, spend time in nature, have had previous NHS therapies, and I reach out to crisis teams when things become overwhelming.

Since September, however, I have been at crisis point. The weight of trauma symptoms - night terrors, constant hypervigilance, exhaustion, and suicidal thoughts - has become increasingly difficult to manage. I have spoken to my GP and am currently waiting for assessment with the Mental Health Team, but initial contact may take up to 6 months, and specialist trauma therapy could take much longer (up to 18 months)

I don’t want to die. I want relief. I want a real chance at healing.

To give myself that chance, I need access to Trauma-Focused CBT. The cost is approximately £50–£60 per session, and I am hoping to fund 12 sessions of specialist therapy.

Asking for financial support goes against every part of my hyper-independent nature. But I am choosing vulnerability over silence. I am choosing to try. One more time.

If you are able to donate or share this page, you are helping me access the support I need to stay alive and heal.

Thank you for reading.

Thank you for believing survivors.

And thank you for helping me give myself a chance.