I am a recovering addict, clean now for almost 5 years. I want to give back and do some good with what life I have left in this world. So I am trying to turn a dark past into a bright hope to shine A way back for others in addiction to find a chance at life again.

I have lost everything including my ability to walk to drug use. I have a degenerative bone disorder caused by deep seeded MRSA from injecting a unclean mixture of fentanyl into my body. This traveled to my spine and nearly destroyed it. I now have 4 rods, 18 screws, and 2 experimental forms of mesh cage fusion. The issues continue to worsen because of the degenerative disorder to my bone. I have already had it removed and replaced once. Then once after had to have a rib removed. I decided instead of finding my way out of this life which is what I ended up considering most of the time, family gone, children in someone else's custody, and given to destroying any relationship with anyone who developed any amount of love for me.

I was alone in the world and personally seen no options this time. I have no work history I've lived 37 years of life on the care of my family and my use of technology. I have seen life as a playground to enjoy as much as possible and to do so for no one but myself. I thought people were living for themselves and life was made up of give and take with everyone else always trying to get the most out of there end. I never seen, or perhaps faced life as anything else except that. I couldn't or else my reasoning fell a part.

I am in college now have been for 2 months and am doing great. I am pursuing my degree in human services with the hope one day to be a addiction recovery therapist.

I have had 23 years of intravenous drug use behind me. Two prison sentences for drug related crimes. Never before have I wanted to change or to seek anything besides the endless drowning of the drug and it's obliviating numbness.

I am living in a halfway house. As I can't get any of assistance programs to provide me all the needed assistance in junction with one another to provide funding, on days when I can get transportation, and help from any sort of nursing care aid. Travel is painful, life is painful. I have decided it's just another truth to bracket up and let all the stuff that discourages go ahead and hang up.. I take into account the honest extent of what can and cannot be accomplished physically.

Some days I can shop and everything if they let another person travel out with me. But mostly I've spent all my free time locked in this awful place.

Alot of prison regulations and functionality when comparing the two you see this place is just made better by the one fact, (the individuals here mostly want to not go back from where they came) so they keep the trouble to a low roar.

I have spent my time locating old documents and anything which could allow me access to my SS card and we'll basic needs. I have recently accomplished some of this and hope soon to have my ID back. It was misplaced somehow during a search while I was at the doctor's office about a month Ago. This has caused me a lot of trouble with school and pharmacy and even the urgent care recently.

I am attending college online at Post University!!!! Go Eagles!!

The financial aid packet somehow didn't give me one of the desperately needed options a loan FSEOG . For those who need assistance stabilizing there personal lives while trying to go to school. This was not provided to me because I wasn't homeless in the past year. I was incarcerated. Though the need for it is gotten from the idea a homeless person who has been without financial means of even housing himself should qualify. That is me. No family, no hope , and no way to get that first hand up. This is my second try at getting help via the gofundme community. I can't spread the word locally I don't know anyone. My old friends are addicts and criminals or deceased and my family have passed on.

As an addict I did wrong but somehow I couldn't ask for help. Not even to support my habit. The absolute only reason I am making this last hopeful request is because other wise I have no way. That's the honest truth.

I am ill, that's a fact perhaps I have 10 years maybe even 20 if I'm lucky. But I want all those days to go towards making my life worth something. I want to help someone. I am a calm and a "to my self" kind of person, now days. I have a drive though.. I've tried to get some insight into the field from a new friend of mine. She has shown me how kindness goes a long way, but solutions push the wagon when nothing else can.. So I need a solution.

November 15th I could be homeless and on the street with no money and just my broken wheelchair and bag of clothes.

I get 380 from my financial aid every 2 months and it won't even start till the middle of next month.

I can't get the transportation to get disability assistance and to be direct. I don't want that I want to get on my feet.

All I really expect is to pass on to others the truth that people who want to change still sit suffering.

There all all kinds of other people who come far ahead of me. They should get help. I just hope there is someone, anyone who sees this and can have a heart and maybe give someone a first, second chance.

I have never been given a chance. Not when sentenced, not medically, and I never expected one or asked. I did every day of my time but I really used my last time. I grew to face and at my worst.. at my lowest overcome the bleakest I've ever found in myself I found my own path, work every single day to change my mind and myself I haven't used a drug the whole time and I'm so proud of that. I refused the use of chronic care narcotics for longer term pain Treatment during those times because of my past. I fight every day to just stand.

My crimes where not good. I took from someone and ran from the police actually the car had only one requirement when I took off and that was to get me to a place I would be able to get away , or lay low.

When the cop asked me where I had been heading I wasn't sure. 8 hour high speed chase through 3 counties and I never caused a dime of damage outside of the car wrecked at the end. I think that was a miracle. But after I was tased and almost broke my neck. I was put into the cop car of the guy who initiated first contact with me when I first ran and who had been behind me somewhere all afternoon and night.

This was a bad look I was thinking I'd be issued a direct answer to what my day had done to this officer. But after he asked me about the hospital and we headed that way. I told him I didn't think I'd make it.. and he Asked a question that I still am not sure as to why it was answered this way, I answered him saying only one word "home".

Where was I headed..?

Me, I guess I just.. wanted, I replied almost choked out by the taking of my own hand to steady myself.. I finished what I was trying to say almost at a whisper..

I was trying to go home..

He said oh where's home.

I had lost everyone right before. But my favorite place as a child was close to where I began and ended the chase. .. also.. all the places I had thought to run to that day where places where someone I had really loved lived or distant family.. I never made it anywhere.. after I thought on this i said.. the funny thing is.. I have no home to go to now.. havent for sometime i am not sure what I really meant. Or where I had meant to go.

All I know is regardless of having a home I did find my place and I am fighting tooth and nail to establish that place. I want to help because I know others will need me. I know how bad and low and awful those dark places and moments can be and I found my way out of them. I am sure I can also this. I just need that special amazing someone to give me the first hand. To lift me up and help me get everything on track.

If nothing else thank whoever reads this for taking the time out of your day to listen and if nothing else please think of me, pray for me. I appreciate consideration as well as donation.

It all does good in its own way.

It is now the 17th I was given an extension on my stay here but I am unaware of how long the extension will last..

I hope someone out there can find the courage to trust in me and my hopes and dreams enough to help. Thanks again.