A Wheely Big Help for Nick!

Hi everyone, sorry I haven't responded. I wrote this in bed and stayed there, without looking at my phone, until now. I'm still here yay.

I'm not sure how to say this but as I was coming out of my nap and thinking of how I could politely decline everyone's unbelievably kind offers and expressions of support, I was hit by what should have been obvious to me: the thing that could help and make a substantial long-term difference is if I could get my VW back.

It was repossessed on March 23rd, to my surprise. I was behind on payments but I thought I had it under control. Losing the car meant instantly losing most of my income. Embarrassing though it may be, I've been doing a lot of gig work deliveries over the past few years with the Jetta. The pay isn't great, of course, but it gets me out of the house and around people which helps me a lot. Also, I never get tired of seeing new places and going down new roads, and this is the only way I can manage to do that.

Most importantly, I was paid instantly. Since I bought the car in 2019 I've been able to just go and drive anytime I needed money. Like right now, I have no food. With the car that's no problem I just turn on the apps and go do a delivery real fast. Now I have money. It's great for short-term needs and paying bills but not a long-term solution or plan. But it was my safety net, in a sense.

Suddenly losing the ability to go make money whenever I need to was a huge hit to me. Setting aside how much I loved that car and the fact that after four years of paying $295 a month on a loan with interest rates nearing 25%, I was finally paying down the principal and the car is now worth more than I owe on it. Fantastic time for me to lose the car and all that money I'd put into it.

I didn't have a car for almost the entire time I lived in Lexington and it was fine because I'd built my life that way and knew how to get things done without a car, most of the time. Here in Bowling Green, you really need a car to do much. Unexpectedly losing my car was an additional blow because I didn't have anything in place ahead of time to deal with that. I didn't have money saved up so even something like Instacart wasn't an option.

The car was also integral to what I wanted to do, and that's Treasure Please. I sell antiques and vintage goods online, locally at auctions, and at the flea market. I want to do that full-time but I was trapped in a constant day-to-day cycle of doing gig work so I could pay bills. I have a ton of inventory: two storage buildings (one in Lex, one here) and a house full. I have everything I need to make this a real business.

Had everything. When I lost the car I lost my way to the auction. I lost my ability to go hunting for new inventory. And I lost the ability to sell at the flea market, which is just now starting to ramp up for the season. That's another big financial hit I took.

I looked at the upside of losing the car; I'd now have plenty of time to get Treasure Please running at full speed. While I can still sell online without a car, however, I lost access to my storage buildings, my way to the auctions, and selling at the flea market. It's like trying to start a business but with two arms and one leg tied behind your back. I suppose if my leg was tied behind my back I would have additional problems, but I digress.

I can make it without the car but it's so much harder. It's such a big setback. I can't work on Treasure Please when I'm trying for days to do things that would take ten minutes if I had my car.

So as I sat here tonight, wishing I could accept help but knowing that I would not, I was hesitant to pick up the phone because I knew I would need to think of what I would say when declining people's help. And I don't know that it would make much of a difference anyway. Sure, I could eat something tonight and that would be nice but what about a few weeks from now? Will I not still be in the same situation? Will the reprieve be long enough for me to get Treasure Please up? If not, what will I do?

As much as it is appreciated, I won't accept help if I don't feel like I need it and there's a concrete and positive change that it could bring about. I've done one GoFundMe previously and that was in 2015 when I ran out of financial aid eligibility before my last semester at UK and y'all came through and I was able to graduate. I couldn't have done it without you and I'm forever grateful. But this situation now? It's not the same and the thought of asking for money never crossed my mind. I do need my meds and some food and my supplements, certainly. I really can't function without them and day by day it's getting worse. So in that regard yes it would help.

But if I'm going to ask for money I want there to be something tangible, something monumental that will come about from it. I've not even tried to get the money together to pay what I need to pay to get my car back. Coming up with $2,000 in 20 days? That wasn't going to happen. I researched the law as best I could (contract law is not something I've studied) to see if I could find some loophole but I quickly had to turn to just figuring out how to get food and basic bills paid. In my mind, the car has been gone for a while now.

I think there may still be a chance I can get it back, though. Do you know how much that would mean to me? I love that car so much and it could be the difference between a real chance at success or months of misery and hoping I can keep it together while trapped and isolated in this tiny house. Plus I wouldn't lose four years of payments. If I don't get the VW back I'm looking at yet another $1000 car I can drive for a while until it becomes unfixable (RIP 1982 Ford Fortura, 1986 Volvo 240 wagon, 1993 Honda Accord, 1997 Isuzu Rodeo, 1986 Chevy Blazer, 1997 Saab 900). The 2013 Volkswagen Jetta TDI was quite a step up, and it will be years before I would be able to rebuild my credit enough to buy something like that again.

But instead of declining everyone's help again, what if I could get the car back? $2000 is unobtainable to me right now, but collectively we could easily get there, I think. The actual number Bridgecrest quoted me to get my car back is $2026.33. I wasn't that far behind on payments; they added in a bunch of fees and towing charges, etc. That was on March 23rd, however, and the charges may have increased since then. I'll need to call and get an updated number. They've had to pay someone to store the car this entire time, and since they absconded with my car without telling me I still have both keys to it; if they've already paid to get new keys made that's another charge. Also, I would have to get car insurance again before they'd give the car back. I canceled my policy when I no longer had a car.

I don't know how much all that would be. $2500 maybe? I can find out first thing in the morning. It's also possible my car has already been sold but my understanding is that they have to keep the car for 20 days before they sell it. Hmm, today happens to be the 20th day. Bizarre how I thought of this on the 20th day, literally the last minute. I checked the VIN and I don't see where the ownership has changed. Also, the Bridgecrest and Carvana sites still show me owing a past due balance.

So if the car is already gone than maybe I could buy a different car with the money? It wouldn't be the Jetta but at least I'd have a way to get around and make money again. That would be the kind of monumental difference I'd consider worthy of a gofundme. Even with my health problems I was able to mostly keep it together when I had my car. If nothing else I could feed myself. Losing the car has pushed me over the edge and I don't know if I have the same stubborn resolve and energy I did twenty years ago to get through anything.

If nothing else at least I'm thinking optimistically again, and that's because of y'all and your kind words so thank you. Thank you so much. I could feel myself crawling into a dark place. Your presence is turning me towards a new light.