A Story Too Beautiful For Earth

On April 23rd 2019 I gave birth to our first born Oliver Jacob at 8:51pm weighing 8lbs6oz and 19 inches long, I did not get to hear Oliver’s cry because do to it being my first surgery I was fighting to stay conscious.. I got to feel his breath against my cheek and it’s something that I’ll never forget. Due to some complications, Oliver did not make it. It was an extremely devastating time in our life loosing our first child and it’s a pain that will never go away. I miss his touch, his warmth, his breath that sometimes till this day I feel close by.... 7 months later our son Samuel was conceived. His life, the news, finding out we were pregnant again after loss, was completely life changing, we didn’t know what to expect but we had faith, believed and declared everyday that everything was going to be just fine. Every thing was going perfectly until our 28 week scan... I was then admitted at Yale hospital 4 weeks after that... I spent 5 weeks in the hospital on complete bed rest and 24/7 monitoring. Everything was looking great! A lot of contractions but a beautiful steady heartbeat.. On July 1st at 12:13pm Samuel Oliver was born weighing 8lbs10oz and 21 inches long.. He let out the most unforgettable most beautiful cry I’ve ever heard in my entire life.. The moment I looked at him for the first time I cried out to him “my baby” and kept repeating it “baby please cry, and keep crying for mommy” “i love you yes keep crying”.. He looked just like his big brother and that impacted my husband and I very deeply. Everything was stable, I was in recovery doing very well, 2 hours later the NICU team came in saying “Where’s the mother, he needs his mommy now, the baby needs his parents” everything went from stable to Samuel and the team fighting for his life... I saw my son FIGHT until there was nothing else they could’ve done. I saw the Doctors fight with him. Crying, because they saw that nothing they where doing was working.. We held him while he was on the machines. We did skin to skin, his daddy sang to him.. and that’s when little by little our little fighter was getting weaker and weaker and they slowly removed each machine off of him.. after that we held him skin to skin. Taking turns, the nurses taking so many pictures.. I held him, watching him struggle to breath for us. Every struggle I cried out to him as I held him.. I wish it was me and not him, our innocent baby boy passed in my arms as I cried in my husbands arms, as the doctor encouraged me to keep holding him until his last breath because I was the one he needed.. I held Oliver as he passed and as I was holding Samuel I cried saying “ I did this already with Oliver, I don’t want to do this again, please take him” the Doctor looked into my eyes saying “He needs you, you can do this”. That image will scar me for the rest of my life. It hurts knowing that the only way for us to carry a healthy child is going through IVF. We didn’t expect this at all. We’re devastated. We’re beyond hurt.. we’re hoping that this will be the last time we come home with empty arms and broken hearts... We’re ready for a family. We’re ready for our happily ever after... We’re not the ones to ask but in this difficult time any type of donation is appreciated. We are trying to lay him down to rest with his brother if possible, if not then very close to him. As you can imagine a five week hospital stay is very expensive. Along with burial cost and stone. We’re doing everything we can.. this will help us with funeral/burial/stone and medical expenses.. We thank you in advance.




Alexandria Valentin...