A Stolen Baby and a Dreamer

I am making this go fund for me for my friend so that she can share her story: “If I could go back and do it all over again, I would have never adopted you girls. Nobody wanted you, and you should be grateful to have the opportunity to be here. We took you in and this is the thanks that I get. If you go back into the system now, they will separate you from your half-sisters, and you will never see each other again.” Anna Maria Minott is a nurse from Panama and Emile “Ben” Minott emigrated from Jamaica.

I want to tell you a story. It’s my story of the underdog who was left on the margins of society but refused to be a victim, rather I became a beacon, and a call to action.

I am an orphan. My biological mother left her ten biological children in dehumanizing positions because of neglect of care. All children were taken and subjected to the injustices of the Foster Care system. I was an infant and the youngest girl.

My first memories of life are all steeped in an ocean of trauma because that is where I was born. When I was 5, Ben Minott would hit me with a yardlong paint stick in his anger and lack of self-control was evident from day one. When striking me on the hands or bottom would prove unsuccessful, I was then beaten with the extension cords for electricity which would be indiscriminately used on children everywhere from our face to feet. I was forced to wear turtlenecks as a poor attempt to disguise the abuse from outside.

As the Black Sheep of a narcissist caste system, I always saw the toxicity and would speak out, which would leave me most often as the direct brunt of the attacks. We were often abandoned in the hot car with no air conditioning while Ben would go into countless sporting goods stores for hours and subjected us to having heat strokes on numerous occasions, but never took any responsibility for stopping the behavior. We were essentially used as “in-house slaves” until emancipation at 17.

At 5, I had war tactics used to attempt to suppress my powerful, kind and free-spirited nature, such as: washing my mouth out with soap, putting hot sauce on my tongue or placing my hands over the hot stove, so my skin would burn to incite fear and terror and to attempt to trigger emotional or physical and psychological abuse.

My ex-brother was adopted from another family, and he was treated well. He was the Golden Child. When I was 7, he sexually assaulted me, which resulted in me switching rooms to “the girls' room” on the other side of the house. I was the youngest, but I was subjected to sleep on the floor while both of my ex-half-sisters had their own beads. I was the only one without. Sometimes I attempted to sleep in my ex-sister's bed but was told,“ My place is the floor.” In hindsight, I realize that these illegal methods of abuse and terror placed on already vulnerable children are truly inexcusable.

From childhood, all I wanted was to help others and to be happy and unapologetically authentic, often that intimidated my “family” and “friends” to behave in inhumane ways towards me. We were taught that wealth, the status quo, and engaging in religious dogma were the way we should live. I reject those limited perspectives. We were taught that children were supposed to submit to authority and not to question authority. But when I expressed my feelings, I was beaten mercilessly and held to a pole in the basement where I would scream, as the basement was used to try to silence me. But that never worked because I am a Siren of Truth and I refuse to be subjected to barbarism and refuse to repeat the ways that I have been treated by anyone else.

My ancestors gave me many gifts of intellect, intersectional creativity, and a Master's degree in Public Administration at the tender age of 25. Additionally, the gift of humanity as the catalyst for change. I went to 13 different schools growing up. I was intentionally held back by Anna-Maria, who would often compare herself to me and tell me how I was not enough. I know that to be untrue and coming from her place of low self-worth and self-esteem, which were rooted in her own childhood trauma and history of neglect.

I always had the top grades in school and was always awarded for excellence in creative innovation, exceptional character, and high merit achievements. No family financially supported me throughout my educational journey, so I had to find a way to make my dreams happen on my own. I have always been the first person to show up and be a light for others and provide my aid indiscriminately to all family, friends and community alike. However, when my moment of need came, I was judged and outcast by my family and friends and told they didn't want to associate with me because of the holocaust of hardship that I am experiencing. They felt that I had done something to deserve maltreatment and refused to show empathy or support. This year I almost froze to death, starved to death and was dehydrated to the point of losing 75 lbs in less than a year.

After being abandoned at the local Library daily till close, I was offered my first job purely based on my integrity and positive work ethic. I loved that job and all the people I worked with, I found a new family. After receiving my first check, Anna-Maria would take my money and add it to her account to suppress my freedom and independence. Now, at 17, I am told,“ I need to pay rent and help out the family” who had persecuted me from infancy. I was told by Ben that: ”I would get rap*d looking how I look” and then was slapped down a full flight of stairs. Imagine my horror and disgust! I was removed from my classrooms yearly for approximately 1–2 months in an attempt to force me to be complacent about family dysfunction. I refused the advances, and I was kicked out during my senior year of high school. However, I was still able to get into college and was crowned as the first Black & Native Homecoming Queen of my local High School even in the midst of injustice. Even in life's small moments I found myself and I danced to the beat of my own heart. From there, I lived on a mattress in the living room for two years following that as a result. The price of freedom was high.

I am often judged by my adoptive family because of vocalizing their seen oppression growing up by “family” who did not want me to speak out of fear of how it would impact them. "I choose to be seen and heard" because that is the only way we can grow. “Ben and Anna-Maria took you all in, and they did the best they could do. Nobody's perfect, you should be grateful”. This rhetoric is dismissive of my lived experiences and a dismissal of facts, as my ex-brother was consistently treated well, even when he would treat us with internalized misogyny. He had his college school paid twice while “the girls were just left out entirely." Young women are especially treated worse in Latin-Caribbean homes and misogynoir was a regular staple in this dysfunctional household. My ex-brother once got so angry because I told him the truth about how he treats his sisters unkindly, and he became angry and proceeded to push me down a flight of about 25 stairs. I was blamed for “provoking” him by Anna-Maria rather than his inhumane treatment of his ex-baby sister. Men were taught to take leisure at the expense of hardworking women and that, in turn, forced women to have to increase labor because of lacking values and support.

My biological grandmother is from Oklahoma. My ancestors experienced the Trail of Tears. A Black and Native family was forced to work while other children went to school, so she was never able to read and write. She expressed to me a hidden truth about our adoption that I must express.

My Grandmother Mary came to Kalamazoo three times from Wisconsin,” twice a week to get her three granddaughters and to take them home”. She was told by the foster care placement agency case manager, Mary Freemyer, that she would be able to adopt us without issue and take us out of the system. Well, since my grandmother was forced to work she was not able to see through the illusions that were being presented. Case Manager Mary knowingly falsified documents to STEAL ME AS BABY in order to have my biological family displaced and to give us to Ben and Anna-Maria through direct placement. This was not a decision based on my welfare, rather coercion. In court, it testified to the following.

Anna-Maria has alleged a “good job and was a doctor”. Grandmother recalls the chilling details. However, Anna-Maria, in reality, was only a nurse. She lied in order to appear the perfect candidate for a newborn. In fact, there was a scarcity of babies in the 90s, so unethical methods were often utilized.

“Husband, Ben, was a big time. They are rich and Ben spoke well”. He said they had "adopted a boy already but wanted sisters as companions.” So he agreed to take my ex-half-sisters “to not split up the family”. This was a ploy to manipulate and steal an infant because of losing their own infant prematurely. We were human beings being treated like inanimate objects and the adoption was closed to attempt to suppress the truth. My whole life, my biological family had been looking for us but were locked out to cover what was done.

Recently, I ended an extremely exploitative narcissist relationship where I was subjected to being seen as an object of desire and not entitled to respect or basic human rights. My kindness was taken for weakness and my self-respect was taken as a challenge to dishonor, but I refused to be stuck within spaces meant to make you small. I was starved, dehydrated, dehumanized, jeered at, told to “go back to wherever I came from” as an original inhabitant on stolen land. Additionally, physical violence tactics were used within this low-vibrational family as a way to try to stop me from sharing my experiences. I have currently been homeless for a year looking for land, living outside in my own tent. My very home was stolen. My tent, supplies and my baby chickens were stolen after all the hard work that I did to make my own dream a reality. I was told as a

teacher and a lady. I had less than 24 hours to collect my items.

When my ex-partner of a year and a half was homeless, he came to live with me before we were in a relationship, because I believe in human decency as the standard I set for myself a long time ago. This same individual kicked me out after I ended the relationship and caused willful toxic abuse while attempting to assert himself as the victim rather than the perpetrator. I was jeered at, called racist names, and belittled for trying to peacefully obtain what was in my tent and vehicle. My vehicle was vandalized by my ex, and his family and ex military marine friend broke into my car at nightfall and stole items integral to my survival. Attempts at dishonest smear campaigns, gossip and gaslighting are his traditional manipulation tactics, attempting to garner support from those who are unaware or intentionally supportive of this abusive structure. I left and will never return after being treated inhumanely and treated well beneath human dignity. I will always rise to the moment, no matter the obstacle.

I am not ashamed of my story because I know I am destined to help uplift my people from the shadows and margins of society. I use my skills and the power of the pen to help the world become a better place without causing unduly harm to those who think differently than me. This strength of character is a gem to be admired and deemed a celebration of overcoming intergenerational trauma. Pressure builds diamonds, as the Cycle Stops with me! I am the Dream of my people and I will honor those who have come before me with dignity and self-determination while not sacrificing myself to keep others comfortable in their complacency. I will keep it moving till I find my Tribe, please support my mission as it's our birthright to have Landback. We must stand with one another so that no one experiences houselessness and displacement for simply striving to be a kinder human being. I choose love over suppression. You can choose it too!