My name is Derrick Johnson, and this is the story of a boy who grew to a man through the love of his mom. I am trying to cherish her legacy by bringing her justice and honor after death— to be there for her the way she was always there for me.

To honor her.

To defend her name.

To stand for justice when she cannot.

But to do that, I have to be present. I have to get to Colorado to speak for her in a courtroom where truth, accountability, and humanity must finally collide.

My mom, Ellen Lopes, was one of the victims of the devastating Return to Nature Funeral Home atrocities — one of the darkest and most heartbreaking crimes in Colorado’s history. Over 190 confirmed victims. Potentially over a thousand families shattered. Loved ones robbed of dignity, disrespected, and desecrated in the most unforgivable way.

This is more than a crime.

This is a betrayal of trust, compassion, and the sacredness of life.

For a long time, I said nothing. I kept my pain hidden because I didn’t want my mom remembered for being a part of this nightmare. I didn’t want her life overshadowed by her death. But silence has become its own kind of suffering. The grief has been suffocating — the nightmares, the sleepless nights, the feeling that I’m moving through my days as a hollow version of myself.

I’m a teacher, a coach, a father, a husband — and yet lately I feel like I’m acting through every moment, holding myself together while collapsing on the inside. Therapy helps, but healing requires truth, and truth requires presence.

I need to be in Colorado.

I need to stand in that courtroom and speak for my mom — and for every victim who no longer has a voice. This sentencing will set a precedent for what justice looks like in one of the most horrific cases Colorado has ever seen. I cannot let my mother’s story be another file in a stack. I owe her more than that. I owe her everything.

And so I ask you something I never wanted to ask anyone:

How far would you go for what you believe in?

How fiercely would you defend the people you love?

What lengths would you travel to bring honor to someone's memory?

For me, the answer is simple: I will do whatever it takes.

Even if that means asking for help — the last thing I ever wanted to do — because this matters that much.

Your contribution will help me travel to Colorado and stand before the judge to demand justice, accountability, and dignity for my mom.

And in her honor — and the honor of all victims — a percentage of your donations will also go toward creating a Wind Phone in the city, a sacred space where anyone grieving a loved one can go to “call” them.

A wind phone is a quiet, open-air telephone placed in nature. People visit it to speak to those they've lost — their words carried out into the world by the wind. It is a place for connection, release, and healing. I want to build one for my mom, and for the community forever changed by this tragedy.

If you are able, please donate. No gift is too small. Every contribution brings me closer to honoring my mom’s legacy with the strength, dignity, and justice she deserves.

Your empathy, your support, and your action mean more than I can ever express.