Hi everyone, 

For those that don't know me, my name is Esther and I am a charity worker from London. I am really quite uncomfortable about putting myself out there in this way, but if the last few years have taught me anything it is that it takes courage to ask for help. That, and I've really no other choice so here we go...

As some of you already know, I was diagnosed with stage 3 Breast Cancer in 2016. My lump was around 8cm and sprang from nowhere, it was a terrifying time. Given the size and the stage of my tumour, chemo started immediately and I prepared for what we will call 'a nip and a tuck' at the other end. However, as is often the way, things weren't meant to be.

3 months into treatment, and thanks to the dogged persistence of my sister for whom I'll always be eternally grateful, it was discovered I was BRCA1+. This is a gene mutation that put me at around 80% likelihood of continually developing Breast Cancer and 45% likelihood of recurring Ovarian Cancer. It is not an understatement to say that my world, and that of my family, was utterly shattered in seconds.

My treatment plan changed, another chemo was supplemented on top of my already gruelling regime and between Nov 2016 and Feb 2017 I underwent double mastectomies and the total removal of my ovaries. However, the chemo had taken its toll on my system and I did not respond well. I was also allergic to the silicone used in the reconstructions. Long story short, I was rushed back in on multiple occasions for emergency surgery to remove my implants. All in all I have now had 10+ surgeries but - good news - only 1 to go and I will sail off into the sunset. I've made my peace with having no children and do my best to fulfil my role as a glamorous and badly behaved aunty with gusto!

However, yet again the universe had plans for me. In June 2021 I was diagnosed with Lymphodema in my left arm. It is a fairly common, yet barely discussed side effect of lymph removal - especially in Breast Cancer patients - and can develop at any time. What this meant is that my left arm has swollen up around 30% more than my right and will continue to swell. It really is ironic that something seemingly so innocent has affected me far worse than any of the major losses I've been through.

I cannot carry any weight at all on that side and it hurts constantly, even when I'm asleep. The pressure builds up during the day and some days it is excrutiating. I cannot sleep or lie on my left side at all, I cannot type for work, ride my bike or go to the gym meaning that my mood crashes. I cannot use a rucksack (so even simple things like taking lunch to work and weekly shopping are a nightmare) or spend too long in a hot environment. I cannot dance without experiencing days of pain after, and I cannot lift my niece and nephew properly which breaks my heart. It is managed by wearing a thick compression sleeve for 12+ hours every single day and I have privately funded MLD therapy on it twice weekly. This is a costly process and ties me to my therapist in London meaning I can barely travel without serious planning. I also have exercises to do at home twice a day. Constantly managing this condition, and the continual ache is exhausting and eventually my mental health plummeted to a new low. I decided enough was enough, joined some support groups and started to research my options.

There is a treatment called Lymphovenous Anastomosis (LVA) that can help me - it has been around for years but is unfortunately not available on the NHS yet. My surgeon is heading the required trial to have it accepted but this will take a few years by which point my Lymphodema will be too far advanced to be suitable. Mr Ramsey is extremely reputable and works at the Royal Marsden Cancer Hospital of which I'm a patient. Sadly I was not suitable for the trial as it had already started but I can see him privately. He has explained my options, it may not cure me completely (although I remain hopeful) but it should help my symptoms significantly. I have a window of a few months in which to make this happen before the Lymphodema progresses further and Mr Ramsey has provisionally booked me in for the end of May, to give me time to raise funds. If I don't have the surgery my condition will continue to worsen.

I am not in a position to pay for this in it's entirety - the surgery will be costly - although I will put in what I can and my family too. It was suggested I set up a Go Fund Me, and I have seen in the past how life changing surgery has been enabled this way. Anything that you are able to please donate would be greatly appreciated, although I cannot stress enough there is zero pressure to do so. I understand the financial constraints a lot of us are facing at the moment, even just sharing my story would be incredibly helpful. 

Thank you from the bottom of my heart.

Esther X