Since my dad's passing this last weekend, I am trying to have him cremated and honor him in some way with a service. My dad and I had a very complicated relationship and he was not a good father due to him battling his own demons. It would be easy for me to say "not my problem" but that is not who I am. Unfortunately, I am quite limited with financial resources as the only remaining family members of my dad are me, my brother, and my uncle. Unfortunately, my uncle is unable to contribute as he is also struggling with the same addiction that took my dad and can barely function day to day at this point.

 

Currently, my dad's body is in Brooklyn at the NYC Chief Medical Examiner's Office and I am told I only have about two weeks to figure this out. I, too, could have been in the same boat as my dad if I had not turned my life around and while he isn't high on anyone's radar of people to be mourned, I would still like to honor him and his memory. Everyone deserves to be treated like a human being and I do not feel right about his body rotting in a morgue and then being thrown into a mass burial area so I will do what I can to avoid that situation.

 

I appreciate any kindness you can give, or even just the thought of giving even if you cannot. Thank you for keeping me and my dad in your thoughts and prayers.

 

RIP dad. ♥️♥️

 

Addiction finally got you.

 

I have always longed for the kind of love a daughter can only get from her father. I tried. So hard. And I never lost hope. I followed you through your ups and downs. I’m sorry my last thoughts about you were that I wished you were dead so I could finally “get on with grieving you”.

Because now you really are dead.

 

I feel like I have been grieving you over and over again since you started battling drugs and alcohol over 30 years ago. I’m sad you died alone. I’m sad you didn’t leave behind a legacy. You lost the battle and the war. I’m sad that most people will overlook your death and that you have no one to miss you now that you are gone. You were not a good father, you were not a great person, but you were my dad. And against all odds, I will miss you. I will miss the relationship we never had and I will mourn the loss of hope that it could ever be.

 

I will be your legacy. I will show the world what it looks like on the other side of addiction. Recovery is possible. Every life is valuable, and yours is no exception.

 

I hope you have peace and serenity wherever you are now. I love you.