a mother's fight a cut to a coma in 24hrs

Hi everyone!

Honestly, I'm not sure how to start this so I'm just going to write from my heart.

My name is Kristina Holden. I'm 42yrs old and live in the amazingly beautiful state of Washington (PNW born and raised). I am a mother to a 5yr old boy named River Orion who is the most sweet, funny and energetic kid I know - but aren't they all?!

On most normal days I'm barely able to keep up with him - which every mother will say. The road is a little steeper since the beginning of May 2023 for me. Let me tell you why......

May 5, 2023, started like a normal day. It was my day off.

I got my son on to the school bus before the my big errand. I wanted to go to the ER. The day before, I had scrapped my right elbow and had awoken to it hurting, badly swollen and red. My friend Barbara gave me a ride to ER where my boyfriend would meet me later to pick me up - or so I'd planned!

It was not a typical ER visit that day. Instead, I can only tell you what I remember and what I know that has been told to me.. (This story may have more added later as I get accounts from others..)

Barbara dropped me off at the entrance. I went in and checked myself in. I told them that I was weak so they gave me a wheelchair. I sat in the waiting room starting to shake a little bit. It felt like forever before they got me into a little side office. Where the nurse just took my basic vitals information, had me sign the paperwork, and stuff like that. I waited and waited. I remember going to the bathroom at some point- still waiting for my room. They checked in on me once or twice I believe, if I remember correctly, saying they're still waiting for a room but they would like to keep me right here.

In hindsight, I do feel a little bad for them as they were out of their depths and not prepared for my case.

It was within 12 hours that I was finally admitted. Within 12 hours I was in full organ failure! My kidneys shut down. My heart was hooked up to a machine. My liver was not working. My eyes were fixated on the ceiling. My body was purple and blue blood was not getting to my extremities. So much so, my family was told I would be lost by the end of the night. I'd gone to the ER simply for a swollen elbow, but ended up on my deathbed!

Now there isn't anything that I remember during these first 12 hours, besides waiting for a room, messaging my boyfriend and asking him when he was going to be there as he was running late. I do not remember messaging my cousin asking her to get me out of there. I do not remember being agitated or out of it. I don't remember talking to my mom my aunt or anybody. I remember a very few couple text messages that I had sent and that is all.

What happened was the scrape on my elbow had blown into several infections. I had bursitis, heavy sepsis throughout my body, and just a cherry on the top, so to speak: toxic shock. It happened so quickly, no one really would have been prepared. The hospital that I had gone to was unable to stabilize me. They told my family that they would likely have to amputate my left hand due to blood not getting to it. Blood was pooling in my stomach. The source of the problem: my right elbow. My arm turned black. Honestly, it looked like a zombie's arm!

I know my 5-year-old son would have just thought that was the coolest in theory. But if he'd seen me like that in real life, it would have scared him to death.

From what I'm told my family all gathered at the hospital to say goodbye to me. My lovely cousin Rachel brought her Chaplin and her Bible study group and prayed with me all night. My mother came up along with my Aunt Pam, my boyfriend Tony, and my co-worker Barbara. The owner of my work, Roseanne, came with sandwiches to feed everyone while they just hoped and prayed that I would stabilize.

I will have other family members and people closest to me and their own stories as this comes along to fill in the holes that are missing. My aunt, being the strong powerful cancer survivor she is, told the hospital, "You have a helicopter pad on the top of here. Why can't you fly her somewhere they can take care of her properly?" So they finally got me stable enough and flew me by helicopter from Arlington Hospital to Seattle Hospital late at night. My anxious family members, beside themselves with grief, followed me there. The doctors at Swedish Cherry Hill Hospital formed a team and got to work on a plan of action to save my life.

By now I was in a medical coma, and things were not looking up. My condition stayed like this for a few days before any kind of upswing took place. But never once did the team of doctors waiver or stop working along with the amazing Frontline nurses that were on my case.

I stayed in this coma for 7 days. As to what I remember of these days: barely anything!

I remember waking up about 4 or 5 times... blinking my eyes in a dark room... one or two nurses around my bed... sometimes the room looked dark and black... other times the room looks light and bright... I do remember in those moments when I would slowly open my eyes, I'm thinking, "How am I supposed to tell them anything?! I can't communicate." There was an intubation tube in my throat so I was unable to speak. On May 12, 2023 the tube was removed from my throat. Still admitted, freshly out of a coma, the tube removed, my eyes finally awake and open darting around the room at my mom and my stepdad, I remember her walking into the room with a big smile, her eyes tired and worried and then little ol' me there fully unaware of the heartache she told me she had endured for the last 7 days on my account.

No, I don't remember much but maybe some of the first 4 to 5 days is slowly coming back to me. I'm a little bit better, but what I do know is that I'm alive! I didn't fully understand I've been in a coma. I don't think I actually understood I was in a coma at all for the first few days. It was surreal. I was heavily medicated. I only saw my mom for the first couple of days because I needed rest and I knew that.

Mother's Day came and I was unable to see my son due to the fact that minors are not allowed in ICU which is understandable. I made sure everybody just told my son I was very sick and I was getting better. I looked over on Mother's Day in the corridor outside my room to see River and his father waving to me after learning that they were unable to visit.

My journey to get better started with nurses in my room every hour to check my vitals. I was hooked up to a continuous dialysis machine. From the moment I woke up I was eager to ask questions. Mind you, not about what was wrong with me. Instead, to the nurses about what was going on with them... why they picked this profession... did their parents do it... what did their siblings do... what did their children do... found them fascinating. I found each one of them had a unique story. Every one of their stories meant something special to me. From the nurse Megan who washed my hair on Mother's Day and made me feel like a person again. To The Feisty Cole who had a great back and forth with me. To the hilarious Patrick with his great dad jokes. Sweet Caroline listened to my story. But I digress! I apologize!

In the week that followed I got into the following rhythm: the nurses changing ship at 7:00 a.m... followed by usually the hard doctor checking in... and the Infectious Disease doctor would stop by... changed my arm bandage on my right elbow... usually followed by another doctor... how to get pain meds... being unable to eat due to the trauma my throat took from the other Hospital intubating me -which took a couple times mind you. It gave the whole inside of my mouth blisters.

I was unable to eat even ice or drink water. The speech therapist tried to let me have ice chips, but unfortunately, they felt like razor blades in my mouth unless I let them melt down. I had to do swallow tests where I was allowed five ice chips an hour. By day 5 or 6 a nurse trusted me enough to handle my own ice chips. Most days I was just trying to find a routine: wake up... see the doctors... brush my teeth... eat my ice chips... pain meds... sleep... repeat.

On May 19, 2023 I did another swallow test. They did it with a camera inserted up my nose and down into my throat so they could record what it looks like as I tried different liquids to see if I was aspirating them or not. The first test was not that good. The second test was a lot better and I graduated from ice chips to semi-solid foods. Right now, my menu consisted of cream of wheat, chopped-up pancakes with lots of syrup, cottage cheese, diced peaches and pears, tomato soup, chicken broth, and for beverages a thickening agent had to be added to my Gatorade milk in order to drink them. As of today, May 20th, this is still my diet. YUCK.

My kidneys are still struggling to come back. Slowly my health was coming back. I stopped continuous dialysis- just every other day for three and a half hours.

Monday May 20, 2023 they will go in through an iv, look at the right part of my heart, see how it's working... I still am unable to walk besides shuffling myself a couple of steps -usually just do position myself off of the bed and onto the toilet next to the bed.

I was released from the ICU May 19, 2023 which means my son could then come to see me soon as I hadn't seen him in 2 weeks besides the occasional video chat. My voice was nothing more than a raspy whisper, and with Mommy having a feeding tube up her nose and IVs in her arms- you know I scared him a little- so I'd keep it brief.

Slowly with each day, my voice is getting stronger, but my vocal cords have been paralyzed. Soon next week hopefully I will see a new nose and throat doctor about my voice and vocal cords. But every day they are getting stronger. My mouth is still full of sores. My lips puffed out cracked and blistered as well. When I woke up from the coma my eyes were cloudy and that has not cleared up so an appointment with the eye doctor will hopefully come this following week too. My right arm is still bandaged and when they remove the bandage each day the black and red and purple blotches look honestly still like a zombie. this is the only way I can describe it. My left hand is swollen and Claw like I'm unable to open and close my fingers all the way. My feet are swollen a little and tingly. I have no strength in my legs and I'm unable to walk.

All of this should make me sad and depressed but honestly, I am none of these things. They may come and go but for the majority of the days, I am happy I have found God. I feel like I've been Reborn, given a purpose, and put on the right path again.

I want to write my memoir of what happened to me... of my life... of my stories and I am truly blessed to be alive today. My body is continuing to grow stronger each day. We have not had any big setbacks yet and I have faith in God that he will make me right enough at least to raise my son... to watch him graduate... to walk him down the aisle...

I am so very blessed to have a supportive family: a supportive mother and stepfather, a supportive boyfriend, and the most amazing collection of people I love more than life itself near me. There's a new sense of calm about myself I have found. Despite the fact I cannot see Him, I know that God has me in his hands and I don't need to see the journey that I'm on with my eyes- I already see that of me in my mind. My voice does not work but it is not needed all the way, for what I have to say can be listened to quietly. There are more ways than speech to say things that you want to say. God has taught me that. I will add updates daily as I can at least in between sleep and rest and doctors appointments and needles.

But now I'm finding it hard to pay for daily life. I am hoping that in the kindness of your hearts if you were able to help me and my family.. 

I am not asking for more than I need. I am not that type of person. This is the monthly breakdown not adding in medical expenses

car payment $350 monthly 

Car insurance $250 monthly

Groceries for the kid $600 monthly

River summer clothes $250 one time 

Misc wellness and other kid expenses $200 roughly monthly 

 

Oil change that is much needed now in the car due to all the visits to the hospital $100 one time

Laundry washed laundromat $100 monthly

Internet services $100 monthly

Gas/parking for River and Tony to see me is $30 a day. They would like to come 3 or 4 times a week. $480 if we need the whole month of June 

Cleaning supplies and supplies to get home ready for me $200. one time

Cell Phone bills $ 150 month 

 bills $200 monthly

= Total bare minimum monthly bills $ 1950

= Total One time expenses $1030

Im not sure how long will be here. I do know I'm making a speedy recovery. I know there also will be bumps along the way. I'm eager to get back to work as I love my coworkers and my owner of my company, and I am a hard worker like my late father. He raised me to be a strong fighter whatever it takes, and works hard for what I want. He taught me all this before he died which I am so thankful for I miss him so very very much. I would like to first off say I'm sorry for any grammar misspelling that is going to be in this. It is very difficult to see. Actually it's almost impossible! And the voice text on here doesn't always understand my Whispering raspy voice.

For now, that is my story. It is May 21, 2023 7:00 a.m. and then doctors will be around soon and the nurses are doing shift change and I get to order my lovely Cream of Wheat and chop pancakes and apricot puree to drink.

So if you're able to and have the means to help us, I would forever be thankful. May God bless you and your families cuz he has blessed mine as this is not something tragic but more this is a miracle. The story of a mother who lived a very hard life who always felt sad and lonely and like there was never enough time in the day, but now I have been Reborn with a sense of calm, no more sadness in me. My heart has been healed from the loss of my father and I am so happy and eager to watch my little boy grow up and spend the rest of my life with the man I love, to take care of my mother and she needs me. I can handle it the most beautiful fun life with the most fabulous people that are surrounding me. Thank you all for all your love. All your love and prayer is truly helping my family and me heal on the beginning of this journey of life that is said before us. Which I hope is blessed with many barbecues, laughs, trips and memories of fun to feel this life and the next for myself, my son, and everyone around us.

God bless you all.

Amen