Edit: we have been able to escape the abuse. I still are lacking family support. Women without family support are perfect victims for abuse and I worry about becoming part of an even more vulnerable population. Especially due to my health struggles. Our abuser took our one car. And even getting to my doctors appointments now is an incredible challenge. Getting medications. Getting anywhere. I cannot lose what I fought so hard to keep. I have the opportunity to shoot a TV show this summer and that would help my financial situation incredibly. It could be a life changing opportunity for my children and I. I was offered a job at my first colonoscopy appointment. The opportunists are there and people love me. I just need a bit of help.

I have begged for help go get healthier post sepsis. And for pre existing issues that were around before I went into septic shock. I was baptized a few days after birth. My first spinal tap was at 18 hours old. My first surgery was at 4 days. I have had about a dozen surgeries in my 38 years. I have never been “healthy” and losing more of my health terrifies me. I no longer have rides to my doctors. No way to get to the pharmacy to get my medication. And my health insurance will be stripped from me soon. You have seen my posts on facebook. I have begged to get help with rides as their dad/abuser took our car. It is all too much of an ask for my dad, who deems my children and I unworthy of help. He told me in 2019 that “maybe you should experience homelessness- then you’d shut up about how you’re treated and just be grateful that a man and his family would put a roof over your head”. It seems the goal is to teach me some sinister lesson at the expense of my children. I come humbly asking for help. 

The help will go to feeding my kids. 

Keeping a roof over their head here is the goal. Last resort would be getting us to somewhere that we have any support. We have none here. No one checks in with us. My rent was raised last week and we will lose housing soon without help. My dad has made it clear that we are not welcome to stay with him and so has my mother. I need three surgeries before I can work full time (& I’m not even including an operation to repair four or five hernias in my abdomen because it isn’t as necessary to work. But I have four or five hernias that need to be repaired). I have begged for help to get healthy. My family would not even offer me a ride home from my 5 week ICU stay. When I came home with 50 staples down my stomach- my mom and dad wouldn’t reply to take me home to my kids. Luckily, I had a friend who was able to get me. I lost a lot of my friends during the abuse and isolation. I am happy to explain the procedures if you’d like to write me. The septic shock did absolute crazy harm on my insides. I am riddled with scar tissue from my lungs down to my pelvis. Even simply passing gas can bring me to my knees at times. It is so painful. Scar tissue needs to be removed. My jaw has needed to be broken and reset for ten years. I had braces for eleven years to prevent this operation but I had a “complete relapse in care” per my orthodontist of eleven years. I did all of the appointments for jaw surgery down to the measurements but was unable to have the operation in 2015 as I was in the abusive marriage still and had no outside help with my oldest and would not leave him alone with his father. So, I cancelled the surgery. I know times are tough but at this point- I had to start asking strangers and friends. Which I am truly so sorry to have to do. 

I love you all

 

Original post: My children and I are attempting to leave an abusive home and are grateful for any help. Their father is very mentally ill. And hates us. It has been 11 years since I have been able to work. I have been financially abused and controlled. I have not had access to a car, a drivers license or been able to leave my house much in the last 10 years. Not a single family member of mine will help participate in helping me get a license back as to keep me stuck. And they have invalidated me to anyone who could help me. I have had family members tell me that, “they’re waiting to help, if I just help myself!”. When police and social workers have asked my parents numerous times to help since 2019. I married into a very wealthy and powerful family that stole my independence and preyed on my kindness, lack of family support and vulnerability. I became property. A indentured servant. I was given room and board but was stripped of rights, my life, any dignity or humanity. My role was to take care of my children and my abuser. Help him better his life and keep him from exploding while my and my children’s lives stayed still. My parents have traded me like property and refuse to help me leave but will only communicate with my abusers parents. This is a systematic plan to keep my kids and I stuck. Prior to having children I was working and made a good living for myself living in Southern California; I am educated and capable. I had dreams of taking the LSAT and trying for law school. I had a huge family. My father was too ashamed when I spoke out about the abuse because it embarrassed him. He is a lawyer and has refused to help me and my children even though he lives 35 minutes away. He watches my pain and checks in once a year to report back to my children’s fathers parents. He will not help me have a better life or future for my kids. I was told to “shut up and be grateful that a man and his family would put a roof over my head” and that “maybe I should experience homelessness and then I’d be grateful”. Once I had children, I was unable to leave them to work. My “in laws” funded and controlled his/our life from states away. Their son was never required to work (& usually on substances) and we (my children and I) were rarely included in that funding. We have been almost evicted due to his abuse countless times. I rarely sleep these days. Surviving them; their son has felt like war. Psychological war. My oldest and I have PTSD that will require therapy. I have had health issues my entire life and am preparing for a major surgery and navigating the lingering long term effects of a freak infection that turned to sepsis/septic shock and almost killed me. I ended up with 50 staples down my stomach. I am having many ongoing health issues from this and some days I am near bedridden. I have hospital bill debt that I am still trying to pay back too so I can build my credit. My children and I are seeking an apartment to live together in peace. We have no family who are willing to open their doors or help us. My “father” is an attorney and was so blinded by their wealth and power; that when I asked for his help to leave, he blocked my number and will only communicate with this man’s parents. I haven’t heard from or seen my father in five years. A few times we have spoke and I’ve begged for help and everytime it is a dry well. Have ANYONE else help you. Police that he’s called and then won’t cooperate with them when they ask him to help me. Social workers have asked my parents to help and they refuse. I’m scared at this point. We spoke daily and my father was my hero. I have been abandoned and discarded. We have nowhere to go for holidays; we have no one. I have no bad habits; I don’t even drink alcohol and I don’t use substances or illicit drugs.

Even a dollar means the world to me. We have no doors open for us. After this- all I seek is a simple, quiet life. It feels like we have been through war. We have. But an in any war- light will overcome evil. Any help is beyond appreciated. I pray that if you feel compelled to help me- I pray that your generosity is retuned tenfold.

this is anonymous as to protect my and my children’s safety until we can safely leave.

* I have proof of everything I mentioned in two iCloud’s of audio, video and photo evidence.