Donation protected
On February 16th, 2020, my dad suffered a massive stroke on the left side of his brain. He was life-flighted from EMMC in Bangor, Maine to Maine Med in Portland, Maine with the plan being to perform emergency surgery. However, by the time he arrived in Portland it was too late to operate—his stroke was “completed” and surgery was no longer safe or beneficial. Although he recognized family members and was making effort to communicate, he was clearly unable to understand spoken language or speak coherently. He was unable to move his right side or feel pain on that side. A doctor in the ER told me that he would likely need a feeding tube, to prepare myself for him to need a breathing tube temporarily, and that we could hope for “minimal recovery” of use of his right side.
My dad spent ten days in the ICU, where he regained his ability to swallow soft foods and started to walk short distances with support from a therapist on either side. He got better at communicating with us nonverbally (pointing, gesturing, etc.) but was still often unable to get his needs met. In the ICU, he didn’t regain any use of his right arm but regained small movement in his right leg.
On February 26th, he was taken to acute rehabilitation at Northern Light EMMC where he has made huge gains in recovery. Although he requires supervision because of poor balance, he is walking independently and able to complete most self-care tasks. He has regained some motion in his right arm and is working on motor control of his right hand, although use of his right hand and arm continues to be extremely challenging. Understanding language and producing speech remain his biggest challenges. He is working hard in speech therapy, but his understanding of language is minimal and he is only able to say a few words unprompted.
My dad will continue to work hard in acute rehab as an inpatient until March 24th, when we are planning for him to come home. Once he’s home, he will have regular visits from physical therapists, occupational therapists, and speech and language therapists indefinitely. My family has been told many times that the bulk of stroke recovery takes place in the first year after stroke, so we expect that his needs will remain high and his therapies will remain intensive over the next several months. He will require high levels of supervision by my mom, and he will need lots of support to get through each day.
My dad’s stroke has put enormous financial stress on my mom. My dad was the sole earner in my family. Although my parents’ plan had been for my mom to go back to work once my brothers and I were in school, taking care of my brother, Drew, became her full time job when he developed serious health issues and medical needs as a small child that have followed him into adulthood. To this day, a significant amount of my mom’s time is spent managing Drew’s medical care, taking him to appointments, helping him navigate the insurance system, etc. Drew is unable to work because of his symptoms and is financially dependent on my parents.
My dad has always been an excellent provider. My parents made good financial decisions, lived well within their means, and saved responsibly for retirement—my dad was even hoping to retire early and was in a good position to do so. However, given that my dad was in excellent health before this stroke, he expected that he would be earning a living, having access to company health insurance, and paying into retirement for a minimum of another five years. And, of course, no healthy person plans for a medical emergency costing tens of thousands of dollars.
My mom is understandably extremely stressed about her prospects in the working world. She hasn’t worked in the field of her degree since just before I was born. She is also worried about finding a job that will meet the family’s financial needs that also allows her to provide the care and supervision that my dad will need, especially in the next year.
So far, my mom has received one bill for my dad’s care since his stroke. The bill was for his ambulance ride from their home in Glenburn to EMMC in Bangor, a distance of less than 10 miles. My parents’ after-insurance bill is over $500. His medical expenses will include a helicopter ride to Portland, a 10-day stay in the ICU, a 130 mile ambulance ride from Portland to rehab in Bangor, and a nearly month-long stay at EMMC, and this is only the beginning. He will continue to have intensive therapies at home. In addition to these medical expenses, my family has had to spend thousands for legal help to allow my mom to manage the family finances that were in my dad’s name.
My mom has prepared to make some hard decisions and major sacrifices, including a plan to sell our family home this year. However, her financial stress is impacting her ability to take care of herself and my dad.
Throughout this harrowing time, I have realized more and more as the week goes on that so many people care deeply about my dad. He is a truly good person who lives by The Golden Rule, and who has more integrity than anyone I know. His positive impact on those around him has become extra clear in recent weeks. Our families is truly grateful for all the love and support we have received. Many of you have asked how to help, and this is how. Even if you are unable to donate, please share this page.
Thank you all for your continued love and support.
My dad spent ten days in the ICU, where he regained his ability to swallow soft foods and started to walk short distances with support from a therapist on either side. He got better at communicating with us nonverbally (pointing, gesturing, etc.) but was still often unable to get his needs met. In the ICU, he didn’t regain any use of his right arm but regained small movement in his right leg.
On February 26th, he was taken to acute rehabilitation at Northern Light EMMC where he has made huge gains in recovery. Although he requires supervision because of poor balance, he is walking independently and able to complete most self-care tasks. He has regained some motion in his right arm and is working on motor control of his right hand, although use of his right hand and arm continues to be extremely challenging. Understanding language and producing speech remain his biggest challenges. He is working hard in speech therapy, but his understanding of language is minimal and he is only able to say a few words unprompted.
My dad will continue to work hard in acute rehab as an inpatient until March 24th, when we are planning for him to come home. Once he’s home, he will have regular visits from physical therapists, occupational therapists, and speech and language therapists indefinitely. My family has been told many times that the bulk of stroke recovery takes place in the first year after stroke, so we expect that his needs will remain high and his therapies will remain intensive over the next several months. He will require high levels of supervision by my mom, and he will need lots of support to get through each day.
My dad’s stroke has put enormous financial stress on my mom. My dad was the sole earner in my family. Although my parents’ plan had been for my mom to go back to work once my brothers and I were in school, taking care of my brother, Drew, became her full time job when he developed serious health issues and medical needs as a small child that have followed him into adulthood. To this day, a significant amount of my mom’s time is spent managing Drew’s medical care, taking him to appointments, helping him navigate the insurance system, etc. Drew is unable to work because of his symptoms and is financially dependent on my parents.
My dad has always been an excellent provider. My parents made good financial decisions, lived well within their means, and saved responsibly for retirement—my dad was even hoping to retire early and was in a good position to do so. However, given that my dad was in excellent health before this stroke, he expected that he would be earning a living, having access to company health insurance, and paying into retirement for a minimum of another five years. And, of course, no healthy person plans for a medical emergency costing tens of thousands of dollars.
My mom is understandably extremely stressed about her prospects in the working world. She hasn’t worked in the field of her degree since just before I was born. She is also worried about finding a job that will meet the family’s financial needs that also allows her to provide the care and supervision that my dad will need, especially in the next year.
So far, my mom has received one bill for my dad’s care since his stroke. The bill was for his ambulance ride from their home in Glenburn to EMMC in Bangor, a distance of less than 10 miles. My parents’ after-insurance bill is over $500. His medical expenses will include a helicopter ride to Portland, a 10-day stay in the ICU, a 130 mile ambulance ride from Portland to rehab in Bangor, and a nearly month-long stay at EMMC, and this is only the beginning. He will continue to have intensive therapies at home. In addition to these medical expenses, my family has had to spend thousands for legal help to allow my mom to manage the family finances that were in my dad’s name.
My mom has prepared to make some hard decisions and major sacrifices, including a plan to sell our family home this year. However, her financial stress is impacting her ability to take care of herself and my dad.
Throughout this harrowing time, I have realized more and more as the week goes on that so many people care deeply about my dad. He is a truly good person who lives by The Golden Rule, and who has more integrity than anyone I know. His positive impact on those around him has become extra clear in recent weeks. Our families is truly grateful for all the love and support we have received. Many of you have asked how to help, and this is how. Even if you are unable to donate, please share this page.
Thank you all for your continued love and support.
Organizer and beneficiary
Kelsey Hanselman
Organizer
Bangor, ME
Lisa Fahey
Beneficiary