• For those of you who prefer a short form version, I would recommend this version of my story:

Hi, my name is Jonathan. I’m raising funds to enter a rehab program so I can safely recover from a dependency on a pain medication that I began misusing years ago during a long battle with severe dental issues. I’ve been struggling with this since around 2019/2020, and for the past two years my body has gone into withdrawals daily — causing extreme insomnia, shakes, cold sweats, and restless leg syndrome that keeps me from sleeping more than 1–3 hours a night.

Because of this, I’ve been unable to live normally, visit family, or keep up with life the way I used to. I’ve been working 7 days a week just to afford the small amount I need each day to avoid being too sick to work. I’m ready to get help, heal, and return to myself again — but I need financial support to afford rehab.

If you can donate, share, or simply read my full story below, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

• For those of you who prefer a better understanding with more details then I would recommend this version of the full story

Hello, my name is Jonathan, and this is one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to share publicly. I’m starting this GoFundMe to raise money so I can enter a rehab program and recover safely from a dependency on a pain medication that slowly took over my life — something very few people knew I was struggling with.

I owe honesty to the people I love. For years now, I haven’t been myself. I’ve acted out of character, withdrawn from family, avoided visiting the people who mean the most to me, and isolated myself in ways that hurt my relationships. If you’ve noticed me disappearing, becoming distant, exhausted, or emotionally overwhelmed, I want to explain why.

My dental issues didn’t begin two years ago — they actually began back in 2017, and lasted through 2023, involving severe pain and multiple procedures I often couldn’t afford all at once. Between appointments — sometimes months apart — the pain became unbearable. I tried every over-the-counter pain reliever and home remedy, but nothing helped enough for me to work, sleep, or function normally.

Around 2019–2020, out of desperation, I began using a pain medication during those dental problems just to get through the day. I didn’t have a prescription, but I knew it was similar to the medication dentists give after extractions. At first, it allowed me to work through the pain — and even gave me more energy, confidence, and drive. Later, I learned this reaction can happen in people with hypomania, who sometimes experience the opposite effect of sedation.

This temporary boost helped me excel at work, take on more tasks, support my family, and even build my personal hobby shop business. For a while, it felt like I had found something that helped me survive.

But after using it for years, my body adapted. I no longer felt any “boost” — just a sense of normalcy. And slowly, dependency took hold.

Two years ago, everything changed.

My body began entering withdrawal every single afternoon and night.

That’s when things became unbearable.

The withdrawal symptoms hit me daily:

Extreme restlessness

Cold sweats

Intense shaking and jitters

Fatigue that feels like my body is shutting down

And the worst of all: severe restless leg syndrome

For the past year or more, I’ve slept only 1–3 hours a night, and that sleep is broken. I wake up suddenly in a fight-or-flight panic with overwhelming urges to move my arms and legs. I learned these symptoms come from chemical imbalances caused by long-term dependency and the body’s attempt to rebalance itself.

It feels like my body wants sleep but refuses to allow it — like a form of torture. I am exhausted beyond words.

At this point, the only reason I still take a small amount each day is to avoid being too sick to work. As soon as I get home, the withdrawal symptoms take over. I’m trapped in a cycle I simply cannot break alone.

On top of this, for the past year and a half to two years, I haven’t been able to leave my home because I can’t afford to fix or replace my car. I’ve missed birthdays, holidays, visits, and even basic time with my family and close friends I haven’t seen in nearly ten months to a year and a half. I wasn’t avoiding anyone because I didn’t care — I was ashamed of who I became and terrified of being judged.

Two years ago, I told my wife everything, and she has been helping me taper down. But the tapering is exactly what triggered the daily withdrawals and the intense insomnia. I’ve been working 7 days a week at three different jobs just to afford the small amount I need each day, (along with bills, mortgage, and loans I had to take out), to avoid being too sick to work.

Something important also changed: after I got baptized, a fire lit inside me. I felt God pulling me toward healing. I felt clarity. I knew I couldn’t keep living like this. I want my life back. I want my family back. I want to feel like myself again. I want to sleep. I want peace.

And I know I cannot do this alone. I need professional help to detox safely and rebuild myself.

That’s why I’m asking for support.

Rehab is expensive, and insurance isn’t covering the program I need. I’m doing everything I can, but financially, I cannot reach this goal by myself. Because I work three jobs, stepping away means losing all income during that time.

This has been one of the biggest obstacles preventing me from getting help sooner.

I’m not asking for help to “cover my life.”

I’m asking for help to keep my house stable so my wife isn’t carrying the entire weight alone while I’m gone.

Knowing our home is secure will allow me to fully focus on recovery and come back stronger. This GoFundMe is my way of saying: I need help. I’m ready to change. I’m ready to fight for my life back.

I also want accountability. I want people to know my struggle so that if I ever start slipping, there are people who can help keep me grounded and supported.

I want to sleep again.

I want to live again.

I want to be the father, husband, son, grandson, family member, friend, and man I once was.

If you can donate, share, or simply offer a kind word, thank you from the bottom of my heart. Every bit of support brings me closer to recovery, healing, and a chance to return to being the person I used to be — and a better version of myself.

Thank you for reading my story, for your compassion, and for believing that I can overcome this. With your help, I hope to reconnect with my loved ones and move toward a life of health, peace, and purpose.