*Updated Jan 28*

Grumble took a turn on the evening of the 27th and was vomiting and straining intermittently for several hours. He had had his last dose of gabapentin following his dental work and had been refusing his probiotics for a few days, so I thought he was nauseous but stable. I made plans to wake up early and take him to the vet in the morning.

Shortly before 5am I woke up with him in my arms seeking comfort as he vomited again and within 20 minutes I had him in emergency. They tried to resuscitate him for 20 minutes, but he couldn't be brought back.

I'm in so much shock. I was so excited for more time with him after he'd been recovering so well.

Many of you have already helped so much, but if you can share this gofundme and help circulate it once more, I'd really appreciate it. The bill this morning was another $1200, plus almost $550 for the private cremation.

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Don't you wish that vet clinic had some kind of punch card per visit and you get a free procedure? Don't you wish pet insurance was a realistic expense month-to-month and that you'd been comfy enough to realistically commit to? Don't you wish!

Well. Such is NOT the case. Wishes don't mean SHIT! In this case, shit only means literal shit.

I don’t know how much to tell you, but the bottom line is I need some help. My sweet boy Grumble probably has IBD and through the course of diagnostic testing, a procedure to remove a MASSIVE back-up of stool, an upcoming endoscopy to make sure it really is IBD and not the early (but still treatable) stages of lymphoma AND a thorough teeth cleaning to help clear up his gingivitus–the bill is hovering around 10-12k.

I did have $3500 in savings specifically for vet emergencies that I’ve been adding to with every cheque I receive from every gig, but fuck man. I’ve burned through that and all my savings. It was a privilege to have savings and it is a privilege to have a pet. I can do a certain amount of digging myself out (I’ll make new merch and zines and table more this spring etc) but I feel...embarrassed, scared that something else is going to come up for him or with my own chronic illness and…yeah. Money freaks me the fuck out and I don’t have family who can help or any consistent stream of income coming in. Living that boom and bust artist life, for some reason.

So, I am humbly, and with great understanding that there are many other important causes we’re all involved in, asking for help. Everything helps. He’s a sweet guy and I don’t want to give up on him.

If we raise more than the goal, that's awful nice, but this is the number I feel vaguely comfortable asking for and...hopefully we just don't find ourselves back here anytime soon. If for there's any extra, we'll do some research and figure out a shelter to give it to.