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Sometimes in life we reach a tipping point when what we could balance one day is just overwhelming the next, I think we have all experienced this in our lives. I can see that my cousin Denise and Tom are reaching that point now .Tom’s nearly 4 year battle with cancer has decimated their savings. Tom has been extremely strong and hardworking through this all but the time has come to try and get him home. He hasn’t had any big change in his cancer, he is very fortunate and the chemo is keeping the cancer under control, but it’s taking its toll on him, there is neuropathy, weakness and extreme fatigue. His stage 4 ampullary cancer automatically allows him to go on disability but he has been fighting it, wanting to provide for his family and keep his life as normal as he can for as long as he can. Also the family would have to wait 5 months for long term disability and they don’t have the funds to do that. I suggested that all her friends and family could chip in and help carry them for that time, together we can make a difference for a family we love. I asked Denise to write a statement about what they are going through now and the history of how they got here, you can find that below. If you know them like I do you’ve been following the events but when you read the story all together you realize how amazing they are getting from day to day with this burden and still having hope, humor, and humility .Please join me in showing them how much they are loved and supported with any gift you can afford, consider a monthly donation for the next 5 months, to help them through this period and please keep them in your prayers!
Thanks for your generosity!
Linda Badge
A note from Denise
It’s not in our nature to ask people for help. We would rather give than get. But this situation is unlike anything we could have ever imagined. Tom was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer, named ampullary cancer on September 20, 2012. Cancer sucks the life out of a person and a family in so many ways. Every day is a struggle to keep going and make the best of things. We have been blessed with our 2 children, family and good friends and we thank God for the opportunity to continue this fight together.
Even with good medical insurance, not everything has been covered. We have medical bills that are piling up. Tom is on a lot of medicine and everything has copays. Trips to the ER and outpatient surgeries are not fully covered. – We have tried our best to keep up with everything but it’s getting tougher as we move into the 4th year. We have exhausted our savings trying to keep up with the bills and taken loans from my pension plan. In the summer of 2014, Tom took a step down from Manager to Assistant Manager at Dollar Tree Stores. He couldn’t handle the 50 hour work weeks any more, it was too much on his body. His schedule was reduced to 35 hours per week and he took a substantial 50% pay cut at that time. Our 17 year old daughter, Amanda, worked all summer to help out and make things a little bit easier. Amanda will be starting college next fall and hopes to be in a STEM program. Jonathan, who is 13, has taken over a lot of the household chores. He still loves music, plays the French horn and sings and dreams of being an actor someday. They both want to do their best to contribute to the family in whatever way they can, it’s hard to see this burden on their shoulders as well because they are just kids and we wish they didn’t have to think about any of these troubles
Physically and mentally Tom is exhausted from his chemo treatments every 2 weeks for the last 20 months, as well as all the other side effects of the disease. The cancer is diagnosed as Stage 4 since he had a recurrence so soon after his surgery. He is having a harder and harder time trying to keep up with his demanding retail job. Added to the chemo is the fact that Tom also has severe pain from his right hip which has degenerated and is filled with arthritis. Hip replacement is not an option, unless he stops the chemo for several weeks. This is a tradeoff that he doesn't feel comfortable making.
After much discussion, thought and reflection, we are planning to apply for Social Security Disability in the next few weeks. We hope that Tom will be approved, but even if he is there is a 5 month mandatory waiting period before he will receive any benefits at all. I work a full-time job running a legal aid program for senior citizens in Suffolk County. Unfortunately, my salary just doesn’t cover all of the monthly bills.
Any help that you can give will be appreciated more than words can ever say.
Thank you and God bless.
Sincerely,
Denise, Tom, Amanda and Jonathan Doty
BACKGROUND
On September 20, 2012, my husband Tom Doty was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer named “ampullary cancer.” It came out of the blue and was a total shock to us. He had no symptoms at that point. If not for his regular his blood work showing an elevated liver enzyme level we would not have known until it was too late. A CT scan and MRI were inconclusive. Finally, an endoscopic ultrasound was done and it revealed a tumor about the size of a quarter in his bile duct.
We were told by the doctor, unequivocally, that this was very serious and needed to be taken care of as soon as possible. We walked out feeling stunned, like a truck had hit us. Over the next few weeks we scrambled to make doctor’s appointments and get more information. We were fortunate to be able to get Tom in to see a surgeon at Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. The doctor confirmed that Tom would need a “Whipple,” an extensive 4-5 hour surgery where they would remove his entire bile duct, part of his stomach and part of his pancreas and then reassemble everything. He suggested that this should be done soon. Delay was not an option.
On October 12, 2012, only 3 weeks after being diagnosed, Tom had a Whipple at Sloan Kettering. It took 4 ½ hours and he was in the hospital for 9 days. The recovery was tough; tremendous pain, nausea, vomiting, substantial weight loss and a liquid diet for many days. On the 9th day he came home, with a catheter and an 8 inch row of stitches from below his breastbone down to his belly button. He was barely able to stand for more than a minute. Tom was out of work for a total of 3 months while he recovered. We also found out that 11 of 20 surrounding lymph nodes were also infected by cancer. 6 months of chemotherapy was ordered with the drugs Gemzar and Xeloda, starting a few weeks before Christmas, 2012.
Tom went back to work on February 4, 2013 and continued to have his chemo treatments. He never took a sick day. In May, 2013, he finished his 6 months and things looked good. By September of 2013 the cancer was back, in a couple of new lymph nodes. His oncologist kept an eye on it with bloodwork every 2 weeks and cat scans, until February, 2014, when he went back on chemo using a stronger drug named Cisplatin plus Gemzar. Prior to the start of the chemo he had a port inserted in his upper chest to make the treatments less painful. The new drug had added side effects such as neuropathy – numbness and tingling in hands and feet, increased nausea and stomach issues. He continued to push through, have chemo and go to work. The neuropathy continues to this day.
During the last 3 years, Tom also suffered a broken ankle (weak bones from the chemo), a kidney stone which required insertion and then removal of a stent and he developed Type 1 diabetes. This is a common side effect for people who have had a Whipple since the part of the pancreas that controls the sugar in the bloodstream has been taken away. These additional health problems have led to days/weeks lost at work as he struggled to recover from each setback.
Tom is still on chemo every 2 weeks, as he has been for the last 20 months. He will be on it for the rest of his life, unless a cure is discovered. The cancer is considered Stage 4 since he had a reoccurrence after the surgery. He has been trying his best to continue working and helping to support the family. He also tries his best to be there for the children’s games, competitions and all of their special moments. We do our best to make the most of our time together as a family and are thankful for every day we get.
Thanks for your generosity!
Linda Badge
A note from Denise
It’s not in our nature to ask people for help. We would rather give than get. But this situation is unlike anything we could have ever imagined. Tom was diagnosed with a rare type of cancer, named ampullary cancer on September 20, 2012. Cancer sucks the life out of a person and a family in so many ways. Every day is a struggle to keep going and make the best of things. We have been blessed with our 2 children, family and good friends and we thank God for the opportunity to continue this fight together.
Even with good medical insurance, not everything has been covered. We have medical bills that are piling up. Tom is on a lot of medicine and everything has copays. Trips to the ER and outpatient surgeries are not fully covered. – We have tried our best to keep up with everything but it’s getting tougher as we move into the 4th year. We have exhausted our savings trying to keep up with the bills and taken loans from my pension plan. In the summer of 2014, Tom took a step down from Manager to Assistant Manager at Dollar Tree Stores. He couldn’t handle the 50 hour work weeks any more, it was too much on his body. His schedule was reduced to 35 hours per week and he took a substantial 50% pay cut at that time. Our 17 year old daughter, Amanda, worked all summer to help out and make things a little bit easier. Amanda will be starting college next fall and hopes to be in a STEM program. Jonathan, who is 13, has taken over a lot of the household chores. He still loves music, plays the French horn and sings and dreams of being an actor someday. They both want to do their best to contribute to the family in whatever way they can, it’s hard to see this burden on their shoulders as well because they are just kids and we wish they didn’t have to think about any of these troubles
Physically and mentally Tom is exhausted from his chemo treatments every 2 weeks for the last 20 months, as well as all the other side effects of the disease. The cancer is diagnosed as Stage 4 since he had a recurrence so soon after his surgery. He is having a harder and harder time trying to keep up with his demanding retail job. Added to the chemo is the fact that Tom also has severe pain from his right hip which has degenerated and is filled with arthritis. Hip replacement is not an option, unless he stops the chemo for several weeks. This is a tradeoff that he doesn't feel comfortable making.
After much discussion, thought and reflection, we are planning to apply for Social Security Disability in the next few weeks. We hope that Tom will be approved, but even if he is there is a 5 month mandatory waiting period before he will receive any benefits at all. I work a full-time job running a legal aid program for senior citizens in Suffolk County. Unfortunately, my salary just doesn’t cover all of the monthly bills.
Any help that you can give will be appreciated more than words can ever say.
Thank you and God bless.
Sincerely,
Denise, Tom, Amanda and Jonathan Doty
BACKGROUND
On September 20, 2012, my husband Tom Doty was diagnosed with a rare form of cancer named “ampullary cancer.” It came out of the blue and was a total shock to us. He had no symptoms at that point. If not for his regular his blood work showing an elevated liver enzyme level we would not have known until it was too late. A CT scan and MRI were inconclusive. Finally, an endoscopic ultrasound was done and it revealed a tumor about the size of a quarter in his bile duct.
We were told by the doctor, unequivocally, that this was very serious and needed to be taken care of as soon as possible. We walked out feeling stunned, like a truck had hit us. Over the next few weeks we scrambled to make doctor’s appointments and get more information. We were fortunate to be able to get Tom in to see a surgeon at Sloan Kettering Cancer Center. The doctor confirmed that Tom would need a “Whipple,” an extensive 4-5 hour surgery where they would remove his entire bile duct, part of his stomach and part of his pancreas and then reassemble everything. He suggested that this should be done soon. Delay was not an option.
On October 12, 2012, only 3 weeks after being diagnosed, Tom had a Whipple at Sloan Kettering. It took 4 ½ hours and he was in the hospital for 9 days. The recovery was tough; tremendous pain, nausea, vomiting, substantial weight loss and a liquid diet for many days. On the 9th day he came home, with a catheter and an 8 inch row of stitches from below his breastbone down to his belly button. He was barely able to stand for more than a minute. Tom was out of work for a total of 3 months while he recovered. We also found out that 11 of 20 surrounding lymph nodes were also infected by cancer. 6 months of chemotherapy was ordered with the drugs Gemzar and Xeloda, starting a few weeks before Christmas, 2012.
Tom went back to work on February 4, 2013 and continued to have his chemo treatments. He never took a sick day. In May, 2013, he finished his 6 months and things looked good. By September of 2013 the cancer was back, in a couple of new lymph nodes. His oncologist kept an eye on it with bloodwork every 2 weeks and cat scans, until February, 2014, when he went back on chemo using a stronger drug named Cisplatin plus Gemzar. Prior to the start of the chemo he had a port inserted in his upper chest to make the treatments less painful. The new drug had added side effects such as neuropathy – numbness and tingling in hands and feet, increased nausea and stomach issues. He continued to push through, have chemo and go to work. The neuropathy continues to this day.
During the last 3 years, Tom also suffered a broken ankle (weak bones from the chemo), a kidney stone which required insertion and then removal of a stent and he developed Type 1 diabetes. This is a common side effect for people who have had a Whipple since the part of the pancreas that controls the sugar in the bloodstream has been taken away. These additional health problems have led to days/weeks lost at work as he struggled to recover from each setback.
Tom is still on chemo every 2 weeks, as he has been for the last 20 months. He will be on it for the rest of his life, unless a cure is discovered. The cancer is considered Stage 4 since he had a reoccurrence after the surgery. He has been trying his best to continue working and helping to support the family. He also tries his best to be there for the children’s games, competitions and all of their special moments. We do our best to make the most of our time together as a family and are thankful for every day we get.
Organizer and beneficiary
Denise Doty
Beneficiary