Support the Stickney Sons

David Stickney, a wonderful man, teacher, actor, director, and friend to many, has passed away. He leaves behind a legacy of hundreds if not thousands of people whom he positively affected with his kindness, enthusiasm, and passion.

David's proudest achievement was being the father of his two sons, Oliver and Arthur. When Oliver was born, he called up friends near and far, saying, "I have a son! I have a son!"

David was only 56 years old and sadly suffered in an unspeakable condition in Tufts Medical Center for many months. He had some health issues including diabetes and kidney disease, and had a cardiac surgery last May from which he never recovered. Since then he was bedbound, dependant on tubes  for breathing and feeding. At times he was unable to speak or move. Throughout it all he maintained his mental and emotional strength and capacity, but it was a nightmare.

Oliver and Arthur are only 21 and 18 and they loved their dad very much. This week they  spent some last times with him, reminiscing about their childhood growing up on the grounds of Renaissance faires and haunted houses, with an ever evolving cast of creative, wonderful people around.

Sadly David had to miss some highlights of their lives this year. Arthur had a lot of milestones, like his prom, graduation, and starting college, in which his dad's absence was acutely felt. Oliver had some challenges and setbacks this year with his mental health, and David was distraught to be helpless in the hospital and unable to assist. This is the kind of man he is. Every time I talked to him, he pleaded with me to let him know the boys are ok.

David and I divorced years ago but we have remained friends and dedicated coparents. He was a wonderful father, sharing so many rich experiences and values with the boys. It's heartbreaking to see them lose him so young. 

There are practical concerns that have added to the emotional stress. Dave and I always split all expenses when it came to the kids and since last May, it's fallen to me. It's been a huge challenge as they are not grown and independent yet. Arthur is a freshman in college studying film and desperately wants to be able to continue pursuing his creative passion as his dad always taught him. Oliver has made enormous progress, doing equine therapy and working part time at a local farm. He is sensitive and thoughtful and still has an uphill battle. I  want to be able to continue supporting both  of them to adulthood and independence.

There are immediate expenses mounting as I have been shuttling the kids back and forth to the hospital for visits, and paying for their needs during this difficult time. They need my presence and time right now, so picking up overtime is not the solution. Then of course there are concerns for the future - the goal is keeping Arthur in college and keeping Oliver on the right track to stability and health. Allowing them to heal and move forward in spite of a very tragic and difficult loss at a young age. It sucks that financial strain has to add to the emotional.

I hate to ask for help. But Dave and I made a commitment when we brought these two amazing young people into the world. My goal is to honor Dave's legacy by standing by this commitment in both spirit and action. I promised him I would take care of our boys and he wouldn't have to worry about them. I really appreciate any help you can give, friends. ♥️