Support Zoë's Mental Health With a Trip of a Lifetime

Cara McGilvrey is organizing this fundraiser on behalf of Daniel Roys.

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Hi there! My name is Cara McGilvrey and I am the mother of Zoë Roys. I am fundraising for an opportunity for Zoë to be able to attend a stuttering youth convention that we hope would be a life changing experience.

Zoë is a 2nd grader who has been in speech therapy since she was 3 years old for a speech delay, severe stutter ("disfluency") and struggles with pronunciation. If you are a part of our friends and family circle, you may know the long journey we've traveled. For those who may not know, let me introduce you to who our awesome daughter is.

Zoë is an empathic, bright, intuitive, brave, vibrant soul who has amazing comedic timing. She's creative and imaginative. She's the most colorful storyteller you'll meet. She is the type of kid who will stand up for someone more vulnerable than herself even if her voice shakes and stutters. She is a doting older sister who amazes her father and I with her ability to be so caring and nurturing to her toddler sister. What makes me most proud is her ability to be so deeply kind when faced with cruelty. She is truly an inspiration.

Ever since preschool, Zoë has faced many hurdles socially and educationally due to her speech. She has faced social anxiety, bullying, trouble in the classroom, difficulties learning how to read and low self-esteem. In her early childhood, making friends was very hard. Young children just don't know how to respond when faced with someone who speaks so differently, we understand that. But Zoë has experienced children walking away from her mid-sentence or asking her to stop stuttering like she has an off switch. She is not a stranger to being ignored or excluded. Once, a child told her she should stop talking altogether. Another time, a child called her the r-word slur to her face. Ostracization has followed her through preschool, into kindergarten and now at her present age. Just a few weeks ago she was being bullied on the bus by a fellow classmate who would tease and mock her for her speech. She would come home quiet and wanting to isolate herself. But she has never let any of this harden her kind heart. Instead of getting angry at this bully, one evening she prayed for him that God would "pour kindness into his heart" and "help him with his self control". She is always offering grace to her peers who she knows just don't understand. She pities the ones who are unkind. But she also internalizes the feeling of being so misunderstood. Her stutter is something that fluctuates depending on her health/sleep quality, her feelings such as anger/sadness/excitement, and her ongoing struggle with anxiety. She will become frustrated with herself and with tears in her eyes she has said "my words are fine up here [points to her mind] but get stuck here [her throat]".

As a mother, this has been so painful to watch. Dan and I have tried to intervene as much as we can to save her from unkindness and judgment (intentional or not). We have never stopped advocating for her in the school setting and with her IEP ("independent educational program"). We have bought children books on self confidence and being "different". I have a library on books involving children who stutter. We have kept up with her speech therapy twice a week. We enrolled her in a summer literacy camp for children who have speech disorders; they built confidence in reading aloud by reading to horses and goats. And with therapy she has come SO FAR. We are insanely proud of her dedication when it comes to her speech goals. And we have continued to remind her that how she was created and the way she speaks is not a mistake. Her stutter is not something that requires correction but we will support her with her desire to improve. Now that she is getting older, we are in acceptance that it is something she will not be growing out of—but Zoë is feeling the sting from this realization. This is not just about speech therapy anymore, she needs a community where she can feel herself.

While she has amazing friendships through her Girl Scout Troop and family friends, we have struggled to find her a community where she can feel represented in her unique way. Zoë being able to spend time with peers who stutter would be an accepting and moving experience. To speak to older, stuttering teens who can mentor her and give her hope for upper education would be inspiring. To be able to gain curated parental education and resources so we may better advocate for her mental health and education would be priceless.

A few months back, I started a mission to try and find support for Zoë in a community of stuttering youth. Locally, there is not much to offer on the scale we were hoping for. But I did find Friends: The National Association of Young People Who Stutter who host an annual convention. This convention offers a long weekend with a vast amount of educational workshops for kids and for parents, social events for connection and fun, open mics for kids to gain confidence in public speaking, and small groups for kids to be able to discuss their feelings and struggles. There will be speech pathologists and therapists coming from across the nation to offer guidance and education and ones also seeking education of their own. This July, it is being held in Denver, CO.

I have been anxiously trying to piece this together to see if we could make it happen for our sweet girl. A trip like this could leave Zoë with so much growth, the feeling of expanding freedom from being a part of a community in a safe environment, deeper self-acceptance and resources she can continue to utilize for years to come.

As I started to place my ducks in a row and see what it would take to get her there, it quickly began to feel daunting and like a distant pipe dream. We are so grateful to share that Zoë has received a personal invitation and small scholarship to attend but we humbly admit it'll take more support to get her there. This gofundme is to ask for help with the trip expenses and to further Zoë's speech therapy that she is wanting. Any donation, no matter the size, will get us one step closer to Denver and to services Zoë could benefit from. Every dollar will be used to provide Zoë with community and resources. Whether its donations or prayers, we offer our deepest thanks and appreciation for any support given to Zoë. Please consider sharing Zoë's story. And thank you for your time and understanding!

Love,

Zoë's Mom - Cara McGilvrey

P.S. So you can further understand what your generous contributions would be providing, here is the tentative schedule for the convention and some resource links so you can learn more if you so wish:

Day 1 –

1:00 PM - 2:00 PM Registration, Meet & Greet

2:00 PM - 5:00 Pm Educational Workshops

5:30 PM - 6:30 PM Evening Reception

6:30 PM - 8:30 PM Welcome Ceremony, Dinner with Friends

8:30 PM - 11:00 PM Social Events

Day 2 –

6:45 AM - 9:00 AM Breakfast

9:00 AM - 9:45 AM Morning Welcome, Open Mic

9:45 AM - 12:00 PM EducationalWorkshops

12:00 PM - 1:00 PM Lunch with Friends

1:00 PM - 5:00 PM EducationalWorkshops