August 26, 2014, one year ago today, I was diagnosed with an advanced form of breast cancer.  I was a single mother to my 22 month old daughter Sophia. I was beginning my tenth year as a teacher in a new position out of the classroom that I had worked hard to acquire and was very passionate about.  On that Tuesday in August, my life, as I knew it, drastically changed. I went to my doctor to have a random lump examined and within a couple of hours a radiologist was telling me that they needed to go in immediately to biopsy a lump not only in my breast, but also in my armpit. I was being told to kick, scream, cry, and do whatever I needed to do at that moment so they could get on with the biopsy. I couldn't kick, scream, or cry.  I was still processeing what they had told me just moments before.  There's no way I had cancer.  No way! I'm only 42! Then I looked at the doctors and asked, "are you telling me what I think you are telling me?"  The radiologist looked at me with tears in her eyes, and replied, "I'm a straight shooter, and yes, we are." My fight for my life, my fight to watch my daughter grow up, my fight to be with my family, my fight to be strong, my fight to stay positive, my fight to make it through cancer diagnosis and treatment began that second.  I didn't know what any of that meant, looked, or fealt like.  In time, I figured most of it out. There is one thing I do know for certain and that is that there is absolutley no possible way I could have ever been as strong as I was without the overwhelming support of Team Stephanie, consisting of my team of amazing doctors and nurses at Palo Alto Medical Foundation, my co-workers, family, and friends.  You hold me up, you are my strength, you are my support system.  I have the all-time, best support system, ever! I have no idea what I did or have done in life to recieve such an overwhelming show of support. I am truly blessed and still think about all of you and continue to need you, your spirit, and positivity on a daily basis.  
My diagnosis after the pathology report was Infiltrating ductal carcinoma and metastatic axillary node. Estrogen Receptor Positive Metastatic Breast Cancer. There was a 4cm mass in my breast and traces of cancer in at least 3 of my lymph nodes.  My team of doctors was formed immediately.  I underwent multiple tests and scans, and went in for surgery to have a mediport inserted into my chest for chemotherapy and blood draws.  A couple of weeks later I began five months of chemotherapy beginning with AC and finishing withTaxol. In the beginning of February, I had a bilateral mastectomy and all axillary lymph nodes removed from my left side. Finally, I endured 33 rounds of radiation to my chest, armpit, and neck. I am now on hormone therapy and will continue that for the next 10-15 years. Needless to say, I had so much to think about during this time, but the one word that kept me afloat was BELIEVE!  I had to believe that I was going to make it.  I had to believe that I was going to beat it!  I had to believe that there were many more years of my life to live!  So, I put my head down and fought.  Again, not to mention the indescribable support from my loving family,friends, and co-workers.
When you are diagnosed with cancer, your life is all of a sudden, unwantingly interrupted.  You can't work, you can't care for your child alone, you can hardly care for yourself, and you are at the medical center for as many hours as you are for a job! Fighting cancer is your only job! You are in survival mode. Anything to get through the next second, minute, hour, day, week, month, year. It's for lack of a better word, brutal! One year later I am writing this story.  My cancer story. My caring boss, Karen Allard told me the day I was diagnosed that I would someday be telling my Survivor story.  It's been only a year.  A difficult year.  A challenging year.  A life-changing year.  Now I am sharing my Survivor story.  I am three months removed from treatment other than the ongoing hormone therapy.  I Survived breast cancer diagnosis and treatment. I am now preparing for another surgery which will most likely take place in the fall.  I am now in remission. What does that mean?  What now?  
Remission means NED, no evidence of disease.  Now that I have survived treatment, I am in the recovery stage. Recovery from the harshness my body and mind have endured. Recovery from long term physical and emotional side-effects from treatment.  Recovery of what my life used to be and gaining my "new normal." Recovery from feeling independent to not so independent. Recovery from having a secure career to entering back into the workforce in some capacity. Recovery from having your own home to moving into the home of loving family. Recovery from having a life-threatening disease. Recovery is huge.  The physical and emotional challenges do not go away.  I, along with my doctors decided that taking time to recover is an enormous part of cancer survival. I am in recovery.
Six weeks ago I moved to Ohio after living in California for the last 22 years.  My family and my first friends in life are here in Ohio.  One thing I discovered during this experience is that I want to be near my family for the rest of my life.  I've been away and I have made fabulous life-long friends, experienced life and all that the west coast has to offer, and I built a great career, but I was only "visiting" my family a couple times a year.  I want my daughter to know her family and grow up with them nearby. We can now visit all of my amazing friends for vacation. Through this experience, I have learned to literally not sweat the small or some big stuff any longer. Life really is too short.  I also realize that happiness and contention are not synonymous with unmotivated and lazy.  I am seeking my "new normal" physically, emotionally, and professionally.
Since arriving in Ohio with my goal to recover and rebuild, I engage in the Livestrong Program offered to cancer survivors twice a week with a personal trainer to rehabilitate my body and mind.  I am a member of the Cancer Support Community in the area in which I reside.  I seek support groups, education, exercise, cooking, social, and meditation classes through this community.  I am able to be more present in mothering my daughter.  My Fitbit goal is to walk 10,000 steps on average per day including active exercise. I am educating myself on cancer fighting foods, and how to eat clean.  Exercise and diet are two huge factors in avoiding recurrence.  I feel I need to do whatever is in my power to avoid recurrence.  The rest is out of my hands.  I'm doing all of this because I BELIEVE I have at least forty more years to live!  I'm doing this because I want to raise my daughter and watch her grow into an amazing woman. I'm doing this so I can spend my time with my family.  I'm doing this because I BELIEVE disease of cancer is going to stay in my past.  
I'm currently unemployed during the beginning stages of my recovery. I am physically and emotionally not ready to take on a demanding career, but in time, I will be prepared.  Unfortunately, my obligatory expenses do not go away while fighting cancer, and private disability is also being terminated.  My major expenses consist of COBRA medical insurance, medical expenses, a student loan payment, and my ultimate goal is to save for a down payment in order to buy a nice little home for Sophia and I in the Mason Community of which I'm thrilled to be a new member.  I'm spending the present time to recover and rebuild my life.  As I mentioned before, so many people supported me in many different ways during treatment from a simple press of a "like" button,  to cards, messages, meals, care packages, weekend visits, babysitting and so much more.  Moving forward, I am still in need of support. I'm still fighting the fight. Many people still inquire about how they can help to support me going forward during this recovery phase.   A dear friend suggested GoFundMe as one avenue of support that fits this phase of my cancer experience. I am a recent Survivor and I want to stay a Survivor.  I want to live life with my daughter and give her a place to call home. Any donation is gratefully appreciated. Please share my story by sharing my link on your social media. Thank you for taking time to learn about me, and thank you so much for supporting me through my Cancer Experience. I am truly forever grateful.
#SSS #TeamStephanie

Photos below are snapshots of the last year moving through treatment.

Recovery4Stephanie