I'm trying to raise money to pay for my second Honda Odyssey, an accessible van currently undergoing major modifications that allow me to drive with my (inconveniently) paralyzed arms. I call it the Quadyssey. Obviously.
I had 'a car accident' in OCTOBER, but my former car insurance company is wretched, I made sure to insure all the extra value in the event of a total loss... I was in no way prepared to handle an insurance adjuster who didn't even make a settlement offer until January... Three lawyers and the work of an independent adjuster got me a little bit of what I insured it for but all the accessibility modifications were and are expensive (taking accessibility loan for remaining expenses)
So if you are able to, financial support would be an amazing way to try to remedy this tragicomic series That’s unfortunate events... so I can drive again… and do all the things...
The first Quadyssey perished in a blaze of un glory within a blink of an eye: my phone fell out of its holder, hit my wheelchair elevate button a tiny bit...just enough that my knees blocked my brakes... I realized after I got to the top of the hill by my house at which point I was heading down hill going 30+ mph...
... but Jedi skills helped me win that day, I didn't kill anyone including myself… or the tree that kindly put a stop to my out-of-control van...
I'm still really privileged in many ways with countless people in my life supporting me in countless ways, including one who helped me talk through this whole "Go Fund Me" Which has been a lifesaver with all the support of so many different people!
DISCLAIMER: I refuse to serious to take this too seriously because endlessly repeating thoughts is one thing. but making them more than just thoughts by identifying with them: "I'm in so much fucking pain I can't think" is a great way to make sure you feel miserable. My very special humor is in defiance of all the dark forces of the universe (injustice, pain & suffering, paralysis, insurance companies, etc.)
The reason I'm still not well is in June of 2015 I woke up with a bladder infection that quickly turned septic. Six days of ICU with 6 months of reoccurring infections from lifesaving antibiotics led a VERY atypical condition (a sort of Irritable Bowel Syndrome/IBS) with my tummy aching constantly causing other things to be hurty all the time ("tummy ache" vs all the non-funny "viceral hyperalgesia" or "severe nonstop pain in my gut:...)
Even what I'm THINKING affects my gut instantly now, which is too complicated to figure out most of the time, let alone explain...
And I guess I should highlight some of the unfortunate series of events to give you a taste of the shitstorm that followed the whole "septic" thing. Whatever. Over it.
- In July after my little 'sepsis,' both my roommates left 'unexpectedly' shall we say... so I've been living alone like some quad in a van down by the river;
I'm recovering so hard it hurts. So hard...
Each day is progressively better, beyond my imagination...!
SASSY VERSION .1-99.99% Funny
The adventure before and after will be described below in a bunch of absurd writing full of tragicomedy, intended puns, a LOT of irony, and whatever else I comes out of my thought maker... for a couple of reasons;
I'm currently experiencing negative time, which is different than having zero time. Negative time is when you fail to do hugely significant things because you're stuck in a quantum state of being here in reality AND not "here," perhaps rolling through the hills of Painsylvania or having a jolly good time in bizarro world... this highly atypical condition has a technical name in the medical literature: Schrödinger Syndrome. Don't have time to go into it here but let's just say it's paradox land. Also, I just made that up, I might do it again. Deal. With. It.
In the beginning, there was this guy who was just dead set on making everyone's life hell. Yeah. That guy.
Lucy, I call him (AKA Lucifer, Beelzebub, The Dark Lord, etc.) Well... he's been trying to kill me for some time now. Seriously. The whole "I broke my neck riding a motorcycle" thing. That was him. No doubt about it.
[Fast-forwarding ahead some years near light speed*]
On a beautiful June morning in the summer of 2015, I woke up miserable with a wicked high fever (104°F, but who's counting. Tried to chill out but it was too late. Lucy had done the unthinkable. He poisoned my blood.
Okay, first off, I often get a "look" when I tell people this as they may be wondering if I'm serious or not. Let me assure. I. Am. Dead. Serious.( :-| )<=See that face? Medical nerds might term my serious and life threatening illness "urosepsis" or "septicemia"...
- N D
- Joji Kohjima
- Crystal Ciccone
- Susan Koppelman
- Mr&mrs Tino Buccitti
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