A DREAM FOR MY LOVE I ALMOST LOST

A SURPRISE for Ken - Why do i feel he is deserving? Well, he would never do this for himself & I can only ask you to read so please do: September 29 will be Ken's 51st birthday and our 20th anniversary...but that is not the reason. I want to celebrate that he is still here with me. Any of his closest friends already know this: Ken is the kindest, funniest humblest person I know. A far better person than I am. He really would give his last $5 to someone who asked. I've seen it. He believes in goodness. Over his lifetime he's suffered from a lot of severe depression...growing up as a kid waiting for the other shoe to drop. When I first met him, I thought why is he so negative. But now I know he's absolutely NOT. Negativity can often be misconstrued as failed optimism. The friends closest to him know that a few years back, depression got the best of him and he found himself in what he refers to as "the nut hatch" for suicidal ideation. It saved his life. His friends saved his life and they continue to remain his salvation. His true family. His only family.  And being the long-time screenwriter since 1996 (with its own severe highs and lows) he, of course, wrote a screenplay about this experience... a dark comedy. Has a very talented crew that's been working for free for months, all because they believe passionately in Ken's words. Extremely telling about the kind of person Ken is. Turns out they just got the invester they wanted and had been waiting for. Ken will get to Direct his first screenplay with a growing crew he's come to see as family.
As his wife, his best friend, his heart and soul... I want to give him the ONE thing in life he takes more seriously than even movies. BASEBALL. THE RED SOX. Long before I came along, I endured the same stories that all you people who proudly call yourselves part of the Red Sox Nation. You see, as much as Ken adores me, I am still not invited into The Nation. Mind you, our Golden Retrievers, Sunny & Cher and Pebbles & Gidget are all IN this coveted Nation, however, no matter how many games I've watched, the heartbreak I've felt, along with the elation of the multiple World Series I watched every minute of, I am still not part of The Nation. I wear pink Sox hats and still feel guilt for not being true to my home team, the Angels. This will never make me part of the inside. I understand.
But Ken still loves me, encourages me, supported me through both parents dying, through all kinds of neuroses, and my own depression that caused me to alienate myself from my own friends.
But the truth is, Ken would be there for anyone, really. He's a natural teacher and mentor. But definitely not the kind who feel the need to tell you they are. They just are by setting an example.
Feeling very lucky that Ken is still with me, and that he will be 51, I am still very aware that there have been sacrifices. I will probably never see the best person in the world live out his true dream of being a daddy. 
I want to fly out to Boston by 9/ 26ish (before they start playing at the Yankees Stadium, for sure)  with whoever of his friends who would like to join us, stay in a hotel close to Fenway, and take him out to a fun birthday dinner in Boston...because Ken will NEVER expect it. The least entitled person I've ever known.
In December of 2012, I came way too close to losing him forever. I know too well that life is fragile and, though I believe in our future, I want THIS gift THIS month to ease the burden and hardness I see on Ken's sweet face he tries so hard to hide from me everyday. Thank you for reading.