Orion's Journey to Heaven
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I have always had big dreams of becoming a mom, unlike others that has always been an obstacle for me due to complications with my fallopian tubes and ovaries. I've had many a time to cry alone not wanting to exist anymore after hearing no sooo many times, " we hope everything works out" or "sorry but there's nothing more we can do". The horrible bland things doctors say to try to ease the pain where you know it's nowhere near anything you feel. After my last surgery about a year ago the doctor had exhausted all affordable options and for me my dreams of becoming a mother were over. Life continued to go on with Walter and I- having fun, going on lots of adventures big and small, living like two little kids with no parents free to run the world. As happy as I was and we were , I always felt a little empty and broken inside. Walter has always made it a point to lift my spirits and assure me that no matter the issue, I am loved and beautiful-for that I am grateful.
About 3 months later, Walter brought up that I was gaining weight and looking different than usual. I laughed because I was due any day for my cycle and weight gain and bloating were only a few of my arch enemies at that time, but to prove to myself as well as him one final time that I wasn't pregnant, we went a got an EPT test. Well in so many sentences, the test came back positive and I couldn't believe it, I was blown away! From there, I told him we are going to the hospital because there has to be some mistake?! Driving to St. Anne's we cried the whole way, tears of joy, tears of fear, the whole world seemed to stop. The doctors came in and did another test confirming I was pregnant. Not only was I pregnant, but I was also told I was 5 1/2 weeks along. We held each other all night that night, talking, dreaming, planning, and sharing our fears. He made my dreams come true and somehow my world was coming back together. Two days later while heading into work I started to feel cramping and went to use the bathroom, I started to bleed and panic, I didn't know what was happening and I was scared. We rushed to the hospital where they showed us our miracle baby on the ultrasound as a tiny dot, and even allowed us to hear the heart beat (90 beats per minute). However, when we got back to the room, they informed us that I was going through a threatened abortion and that my body was going to remove the fetus in a few days. Our hearts sank. Not again, why had I allowed myself to be happy? Allow myself that finally, I would be a mom, only to have the out come I've always had? An appointment at my ob was scheduled and I was terrified, I had a week to go and a possible "abortion" to go through within three days. Somehow, some way, I made it to my appointment, but there had been no sign that baby didn't make it. At the appointment they did another ultrasound and confirmed, I was still indeed pregnant and that everything looked fine! We were still going to have a baby!
Fast forward, with the months progressing, we began shopping, attending appointments, and anticipating the birth of our soon to be son! We couldn't have been happier! Everything was finally going in the direction I had always wished for. I felt blessed, amazing, and asked God daily what I had done to deserve this. Feeling him move constantly, was a blessing in itself. I had an easy pregnancy, so far really nothing to complain about except the occasional heartburn and leg cramps. I didn't get stretch marks and put on a measly 41 lbs, life was good.
On 0ctober 13th, 2015- 31 weeks 5 days, I went to bed around 5am and was woken at 5:30ish with minor cramping (that really wasn't out of the normal considering I had experienced Braxton hicks contractions a bit a few weeks earlier and they faded away). By 7am, I was tossing and turning, by nine I got up because I couldn't bare the flow of pain that was wrapping tightly around my pelvic region. I set off to the doctors leaving Walter home figuring I would go to the doctors and be home shortly. When I arrived I was 5cm dilated and in full labor. I immediately called Walter while an ambulance loaded me up to go to the hospital. When I arrived they checked me again and I was 7cm dilated, it was too late to give pain meds and too late to try and stop my labor. Everything was happening so fast! About twenty minutes later I was 8cm but my water still hadn't broke. Within the hour I was fully dilated and my water was broken by the delivering nurse. Within maybe five pushes, my son was here weighing it at 4lbs 6 oz 17.7 inches long. He is beautiful. Orion hunter Edward Rogers. My miracle.
As time progressed they started to see issues, his breathing was labored, and the substance produced by your lungs to prevent them from sticking wasn't there. He was then rushed to the ICU where a team of doctors began working on him. They gave him medicine needed to keep him lungs from sticking when he exhaled and began doing all they could do to stabilize. He began improving, or so we thought. The nurses came back and informed us that his lungs were severely under developed and that they brought him to the nursery and he stopped breathing. They then placed him on life support and advised he would med flighted to Boston. Once again my heart sank. I entered the room where his little body and shiny golden hair lay covered in tubes, doing all I could do to hang on to reality. I held his hand, rubbed his leg, and kissed his forehead. I couldn't believe after all we had been through this really might be the end.
When the flight arrived they moved him into a transportable incubator and began to re stabilize, which seem to take an eternity. My fragile little son, fighting for his life, was off to Boston. He arrived without any further issues and began to progress. Around 2am we got a call that they needed to insert a cardiac stent in him for medications and at this point he isn't progressing, but instead he's leveled out. Every second is agony not knowing if or when at anytime his tiny body gives up. From what we are told he will be in Boston if all goes well until around December. Thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated as well as support since we live an hour away. We usually would never reach out like this and ask for help, but at this trying time, we truly need it. With food, expenses, traveling, and now with medical bills for Orion, it can be tough to come up with the extra funds we need to get by right now. Thank you so much for taking your time to read Orion's journey, any little help is greatly appreciated. Please pray for Orion, he needs all the positive energy he can get!
About 3 months later, Walter brought up that I was gaining weight and looking different than usual. I laughed because I was due any day for my cycle and weight gain and bloating were only a few of my arch enemies at that time, but to prove to myself as well as him one final time that I wasn't pregnant, we went a got an EPT test. Well in so many sentences, the test came back positive and I couldn't believe it, I was blown away! From there, I told him we are going to the hospital because there has to be some mistake?! Driving to St. Anne's we cried the whole way, tears of joy, tears of fear, the whole world seemed to stop. The doctors came in and did another test confirming I was pregnant. Not only was I pregnant, but I was also told I was 5 1/2 weeks along. We held each other all night that night, talking, dreaming, planning, and sharing our fears. He made my dreams come true and somehow my world was coming back together. Two days later while heading into work I started to feel cramping and went to use the bathroom, I started to bleed and panic, I didn't know what was happening and I was scared. We rushed to the hospital where they showed us our miracle baby on the ultrasound as a tiny dot, and even allowed us to hear the heart beat (90 beats per minute). However, when we got back to the room, they informed us that I was going through a threatened abortion and that my body was going to remove the fetus in a few days. Our hearts sank. Not again, why had I allowed myself to be happy? Allow myself that finally, I would be a mom, only to have the out come I've always had? An appointment at my ob was scheduled and I was terrified, I had a week to go and a possible "abortion" to go through within three days. Somehow, some way, I made it to my appointment, but there had been no sign that baby didn't make it. At the appointment they did another ultrasound and confirmed, I was still indeed pregnant and that everything looked fine! We were still going to have a baby!
Fast forward, with the months progressing, we began shopping, attending appointments, and anticipating the birth of our soon to be son! We couldn't have been happier! Everything was finally going in the direction I had always wished for. I felt blessed, amazing, and asked God daily what I had done to deserve this. Feeling him move constantly, was a blessing in itself. I had an easy pregnancy, so far really nothing to complain about except the occasional heartburn and leg cramps. I didn't get stretch marks and put on a measly 41 lbs, life was good.
On 0ctober 13th, 2015- 31 weeks 5 days, I went to bed around 5am and was woken at 5:30ish with minor cramping (that really wasn't out of the normal considering I had experienced Braxton hicks contractions a bit a few weeks earlier and they faded away). By 7am, I was tossing and turning, by nine I got up because I couldn't bare the flow of pain that was wrapping tightly around my pelvic region. I set off to the doctors leaving Walter home figuring I would go to the doctors and be home shortly. When I arrived I was 5cm dilated and in full labor. I immediately called Walter while an ambulance loaded me up to go to the hospital. When I arrived they checked me again and I was 7cm dilated, it was too late to give pain meds and too late to try and stop my labor. Everything was happening so fast! About twenty minutes later I was 8cm but my water still hadn't broke. Within the hour I was fully dilated and my water was broken by the delivering nurse. Within maybe five pushes, my son was here weighing it at 4lbs 6 oz 17.7 inches long. He is beautiful. Orion hunter Edward Rogers. My miracle.
As time progressed they started to see issues, his breathing was labored, and the substance produced by your lungs to prevent them from sticking wasn't there. He was then rushed to the ICU where a team of doctors began working on him. They gave him medicine needed to keep him lungs from sticking when he exhaled and began doing all they could do to stabilize. He began improving, or so we thought. The nurses came back and informed us that his lungs were severely under developed and that they brought him to the nursery and he stopped breathing. They then placed him on life support and advised he would med flighted to Boston. Once again my heart sank. I entered the room where his little body and shiny golden hair lay covered in tubes, doing all I could do to hang on to reality. I held his hand, rubbed his leg, and kissed his forehead. I couldn't believe after all we had been through this really might be the end.
When the flight arrived they moved him into a transportable incubator and began to re stabilize, which seem to take an eternity. My fragile little son, fighting for his life, was off to Boston. He arrived without any further issues and began to progress. Around 2am we got a call that they needed to insert a cardiac stent in him for medications and at this point he isn't progressing, but instead he's leveled out. Every second is agony not knowing if or when at anytime his tiny body gives up. From what we are told he will be in Boston if all goes well until around December. Thoughts and prayers are greatly appreciated as well as support since we live an hour away. We usually would never reach out like this and ask for help, but at this trying time, we truly need it. With food, expenses, traveling, and now with medical bills for Orion, it can be tough to come up with the extra funds we need to get by right now. Thank you so much for taking your time to read Orion's journey, any little help is greatly appreciated. Please pray for Orion, he needs all the positive energy he can get!
Organizer
Brittany Machado
Organizer
Fall River, MA