Light, Love and Hope for Mom
Donation protected
It is said: "In life, it is far greater to give than to receive." So, I want to tell you a story of strength, love and hope. A story of a woman that has spent her entire life selflessly giving of herself for others, with only the hope of receiving love in return. This is the story of my Mom.
She was born Patricia Glorioso, the first of her four surviving siblings, on May 16, 1956, to her loving parents, Gaspare and Antoinette Glorioso, in Brooklyn, NY. Her childhood was happy, filled with fond memories of afternoons spent with her grandmothers. Especially, those spent with her "Freeport Grandma", whom she recalls, made the fluffiest scrambled eggs ever! As well as many others of her aunts, uncles and cousins, spent all gathered together at a table in the basement of her grandparents' house on West 12 Street. Those are her favorite memories of all.
In those days, being the first of many had its blessings, but came with the understanding of your responsibility to help your mother love and care for all those that were younger than you, which she did with a kind heart, and nary a complaint. Changing diapers, feeding bottles, playing with babies, doing chores, running to the corner store for bread and eggs, she did it all.
When she was grown, she had graduated from high school, and started her career in banking in "the City", at just 19, and my grandparents beamed with pride. There, she met and later married my dad. They were both so young and happy, and knew they had a long, happy future ahead of them.
They never took a honeymoon, with their eyes set on a home and family to call their own. They instead, invested what money they had saved into the purchase of their beautiful home, that they would come to spend 30 years in, building a life and family together.
When I was born, Grandma stayed with me so mom could continue working to help provide for our family. She sacrificed all the 'first' moments that every new mother spends her life looking forward to, just so that we would not struggle as a family. Not too long after, my brother Neil was born, and Grandma's hands became very full trying to keep after us. We were a lot for Grandma, and becoming more everyday.
Our family of four could never survive on my dad's income alone. So, Mom did had her shift at work switched to nights. To some, this may seem an easy, logical solution. I assure you, it was not. If you spent your nights working, your days looking after your children and keeping your home, and evenings preparing meals for your family, just WHEN would you have time to SLEEP?! When would you have time to care for YOU? She didn't. She never did.
Many of those days were spent sleep walking through them. I don't even know how she had half a head to do her job and WELL at work! She became a Superviser of International Compensation! HOW was this possible?! Don't get me wrong, we did have lots of help from all different family members, and wonderful neighbors and friends too. Looking back, I know she is most grateful for all of you, and so are we. You make up many of our favorite childhood memories. But ultimately, orchestrating our entire life was on her shoulders.
It wasn't until Neil and I became young teenagers that Mom would be able to return to 'normal' schedule, finally working a daytime shift. Raising teenagers is no easy task for anyone, my parents included. Dad spent so many hours working retail, we hardly ever saw him. He would help us get ready for school in the morning, then not return until late at night for dinner- which Mom stayed up to cook fresh for him, so he would not have to eat it reheated or cold - this, long after she had cooked and cleaned up our dinner plates.
This was our life for the next 6 years. No new cars, no big family planned vacations, no fancy repairs to the house, not even new furniture to freshen the place up. Nothing but life with our little family, birthdays, anniversaries and Christmases to look forward to, but she and dad always made it enough. And I'll never know how.
In the midst of life finally getting better, with my brother and I grown and creating lives for ourselves, Mom and Dad working and living life a bit more freely, enjoying weekend trips to Atlantic City even, Grandpa passed away suddenly. It was a very difficult time for all of us. We couldn't imagine what life would be like without him. He was the very heart of our family, and Grandma's life-long love. We were in total shock, and heartbroken for what seemed a lifetime. We thought it was the worst thing ever to have to endure, and it was so hard to watch Mom and her brothers and sister go through it.
A few short years later, we received the news that Grandma had Stage 4, Small Cell Lung Cancer. It's the worst thing you could ever imagine, knowing your parent is dying, and having to watch them suffer. Pain like that is unthinkable. The hardest time ever to keep your head and find strength, but she did. She and her sister and brothers spent every waking moment by Grandma's side. They did everything they could, but still lost her, and the place we all called 'home' (Grandma's house) in under a year. Grandma was only 67, and she was gone. We were all devastated. Going through all of that, sorting through her things, emptying out her house, and accepting that the life we all once knew was no longer to be, was truly humbling in every way. It reminded us all of how precious our time is, and how short. I don't know where she found the strength to pick herself back up, but she did.
Years pass in the blink of an eye. Mom left the bank and switched career paths, becoming a Medical Secretary. Dad started work in the schools to build a retirement pension. They worked opposite shifts, Mom in the day, Dad on nights, and looked forward to their weekends together. Which brings us to the next chapter. They began dreaming of their happy years of retirement, hopefully with greener pastures...much greener. They found hope and promise of a happy retirement when they decided to buy a second home out in Lakeville, PA.
They worked so hard all week, but all the happy moments they spent there together on weekends and throughout their summer vacations made every bit of their time apart worth it. They enjoyed every second. As luck would have it, this purchase was during the housing boom, and this beautiful home that was purchased against their first home, was granted by a 'bad loan'. Not wanting to give up on the dreams for their future, they decided to sell the home they spent the last lifetime in. They walked away with hardly anything, just enough to move the rest of their belongings to their greener pasture.
It still wasn't time to retire. Though for dad, that time was slightly shorter, as he is 10 years my mom's senior. Mom had a few more years to put in at the hospital before she could earn her lifetime medical benefits, which she desperately needed. She has terrible arthritis and suffered from bouts of DVT. Her doctors had even confirmed that she would need full knee replacement within the coming years. So, they took a small, one-bedroom walk in apartment for the next few years to make ends meet and find their way into retirement.
Mom and Dad officially retired in 2015. They helped my brother and his family by buying a home together here in New Jersey, so they could spend part of their time with all of us, and enjoy their own time in Pennsylvania. It was such a proud moment for them. They love their family, and were finally getting the time they so desired to spend with all of us, especially their beautiful grandchildren.
It was a brief moment of happiness. They spent almost a year home together before bills began to pile up. Mom was not yet of retirement age, and still cannot collect her Social Security. So, she made the decision to return to work. She took a part time position close to their beautiful retirement home that they so loved, hoping it would give them more opportunity to enjoy their time there.
They spent their first Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve away from their family , ever. We thought it was the most difficult thing, getting through the holidays without them, especially for the kids, but we were to find out, the worst was still yet to come.
About six months into the new life that she created to help her family, she took a sudden fall that resulted only in mild discomfort in her left foot. Over the next several weeks, the discomfort increased, and got to a point where she could no longer bear standing on it. She finished up her last shift at work, finally deciding that she needed to have it checked. The doctor at the urgent care location she went to, took an X-ray, and couldn't fathom what he was seeing... severe bone loss and a huge mass in her foot. He urged her to find her way to an emergency room to have it further evaluated.
Not wanting to be so far away from her family, should it be so serious and require care, my parents made the 3 1/2 hr trip home to Jersey. Upon checking into the ER, she was admitted almost immediately. After a restless week in the hospital, filled with tests and procedures, doctors finally delivered the news. She was diagnosed with Large B Cell Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
Cancer. The most earth-shattering fate that none of us were truly prepared to hear. Fear, shock, anger, sadness, helplessness...these emotions were all ours in this moment. But after all these emotions washed over her, so too did arise faith, determination, bravery, strength and HOPE. She is a warrior in her own right, and her courage is unshakeable.
She knows in her heart, she has so much more life yet to live. So many people that love and need her, and that alone is enough to give her everything she needs to fight and beat this horrible disease. She is our guiding light, our one true symbol of hope. Hope that we can do whatever we set our minds to in this life. Hope that we can get through any storm and come out even stronger. Hope that we can be whoever we want to be. Hope that we can make a difference in someone else's life through our own sacrifices and love, just as she has done for us. Hope that no matter what we choose to give up in this life for others, it will all be worth it.
She has sacrificed so much for so many, and with her big heart, touched the lives of even more people than I could ever count. At this moment, it is my greatest wish to thank her, and show her how much her life has meant, not only to me and my family, but to all those who's lives she has truly made a difference in, great and small.
She may have lost all of her hair, but she has lost none of her heart and her drive to fight! Her strength and courage inspires us more everyday. She is already more than halfway through her six chemotherapy sessions, and I am so happy to report that she is doing well, through all of it. Her final session is to be administered at the very end of June. Then she will be sent for another PET scan to evaluate her progress, and we will wait for results with great hope and faith.
She has said that after receiving all her treatments, she would like nothing more than to have a nice, relaxing vacation with her family. My family of four will be taking our annual trip up to Villa Roma Resort in Callicoon, NY in August. Pending good results we would like nothing more than to take her with us and make that simple dream come true. In this small way, we hope to give her a bright light, something to look forward to and help put all of this suffering behind her.
Any and all donations are appreciated, as we work toward our main goal, of getting mom healthy and helping her heal inside and out. As a small token for your generosity, anyone that makes a donation of $25 or more will receive one of these #gloriosostrong T-shirts in the color and size of your choice. After making your donation, simply comment with your name, email, color and sizing below in the comments section.
'Glorioso Strong' has been a mantra for my mom through this whole process. Not only is it our family name, but to us, it is the ultimate symbol of strength, as we have all overcome every impossible circumstance through the bond of love and support throughout our family.
Thank you so much for listening to my story. It felt so good to be able to share it with all of you. I think it would be beautiful if those of you that do know her, could share your stories in the comments below of how you know her, and how she has affected your life. Even if our goal is not met, I think it will be so rewarding for her to see all the love and support we all have in our hearts for her. And that is the greatest gift of all in iteself.
Many thanks and God bless you all.
She was born Patricia Glorioso, the first of her four surviving siblings, on May 16, 1956, to her loving parents, Gaspare and Antoinette Glorioso, in Brooklyn, NY. Her childhood was happy, filled with fond memories of afternoons spent with her grandmothers. Especially, those spent with her "Freeport Grandma", whom she recalls, made the fluffiest scrambled eggs ever! As well as many others of her aunts, uncles and cousins, spent all gathered together at a table in the basement of her grandparents' house on West 12 Street. Those are her favorite memories of all.
In those days, being the first of many had its blessings, but came with the understanding of your responsibility to help your mother love and care for all those that were younger than you, which she did with a kind heart, and nary a complaint. Changing diapers, feeding bottles, playing with babies, doing chores, running to the corner store for bread and eggs, she did it all.
When she was grown, she had graduated from high school, and started her career in banking in "the City", at just 19, and my grandparents beamed with pride. There, she met and later married my dad. They were both so young and happy, and knew they had a long, happy future ahead of them.
They never took a honeymoon, with their eyes set on a home and family to call their own. They instead, invested what money they had saved into the purchase of their beautiful home, that they would come to spend 30 years in, building a life and family together.
When I was born, Grandma stayed with me so mom could continue working to help provide for our family. She sacrificed all the 'first' moments that every new mother spends her life looking forward to, just so that we would not struggle as a family. Not too long after, my brother Neil was born, and Grandma's hands became very full trying to keep after us. We were a lot for Grandma, and becoming more everyday.
Our family of four could never survive on my dad's income alone. So, Mom did had her shift at work switched to nights. To some, this may seem an easy, logical solution. I assure you, it was not. If you spent your nights working, your days looking after your children and keeping your home, and evenings preparing meals for your family, just WHEN would you have time to SLEEP?! When would you have time to care for YOU? She didn't. She never did.
Many of those days were spent sleep walking through them. I don't even know how she had half a head to do her job and WELL at work! She became a Superviser of International Compensation! HOW was this possible?! Don't get me wrong, we did have lots of help from all different family members, and wonderful neighbors and friends too. Looking back, I know she is most grateful for all of you, and so are we. You make up many of our favorite childhood memories. But ultimately, orchestrating our entire life was on her shoulders.
It wasn't until Neil and I became young teenagers that Mom would be able to return to 'normal' schedule, finally working a daytime shift. Raising teenagers is no easy task for anyone, my parents included. Dad spent so many hours working retail, we hardly ever saw him. He would help us get ready for school in the morning, then not return until late at night for dinner- which Mom stayed up to cook fresh for him, so he would not have to eat it reheated or cold - this, long after she had cooked and cleaned up our dinner plates.
This was our life for the next 6 years. No new cars, no big family planned vacations, no fancy repairs to the house, not even new furniture to freshen the place up. Nothing but life with our little family, birthdays, anniversaries and Christmases to look forward to, but she and dad always made it enough. And I'll never know how.
In the midst of life finally getting better, with my brother and I grown and creating lives for ourselves, Mom and Dad working and living life a bit more freely, enjoying weekend trips to Atlantic City even, Grandpa passed away suddenly. It was a very difficult time for all of us. We couldn't imagine what life would be like without him. He was the very heart of our family, and Grandma's life-long love. We were in total shock, and heartbroken for what seemed a lifetime. We thought it was the worst thing ever to have to endure, and it was so hard to watch Mom and her brothers and sister go through it.
A few short years later, we received the news that Grandma had Stage 4, Small Cell Lung Cancer. It's the worst thing you could ever imagine, knowing your parent is dying, and having to watch them suffer. Pain like that is unthinkable. The hardest time ever to keep your head and find strength, but she did. She and her sister and brothers spent every waking moment by Grandma's side. They did everything they could, but still lost her, and the place we all called 'home' (Grandma's house) in under a year. Grandma was only 67, and she was gone. We were all devastated. Going through all of that, sorting through her things, emptying out her house, and accepting that the life we all once knew was no longer to be, was truly humbling in every way. It reminded us all of how precious our time is, and how short. I don't know where she found the strength to pick herself back up, but she did.
Years pass in the blink of an eye. Mom left the bank and switched career paths, becoming a Medical Secretary. Dad started work in the schools to build a retirement pension. They worked opposite shifts, Mom in the day, Dad on nights, and looked forward to their weekends together. Which brings us to the next chapter. They began dreaming of their happy years of retirement, hopefully with greener pastures...much greener. They found hope and promise of a happy retirement when they decided to buy a second home out in Lakeville, PA.
They worked so hard all week, but all the happy moments they spent there together on weekends and throughout their summer vacations made every bit of their time apart worth it. They enjoyed every second. As luck would have it, this purchase was during the housing boom, and this beautiful home that was purchased against their first home, was granted by a 'bad loan'. Not wanting to give up on the dreams for their future, they decided to sell the home they spent the last lifetime in. They walked away with hardly anything, just enough to move the rest of their belongings to their greener pasture.
It still wasn't time to retire. Though for dad, that time was slightly shorter, as he is 10 years my mom's senior. Mom had a few more years to put in at the hospital before she could earn her lifetime medical benefits, which she desperately needed. She has terrible arthritis and suffered from bouts of DVT. Her doctors had even confirmed that she would need full knee replacement within the coming years. So, they took a small, one-bedroom walk in apartment for the next few years to make ends meet and find their way into retirement.
Mom and Dad officially retired in 2015. They helped my brother and his family by buying a home together here in New Jersey, so they could spend part of their time with all of us, and enjoy their own time in Pennsylvania. It was such a proud moment for them. They love their family, and were finally getting the time they so desired to spend with all of us, especially their beautiful grandchildren.
It was a brief moment of happiness. They spent almost a year home together before bills began to pile up. Mom was not yet of retirement age, and still cannot collect her Social Security. So, she made the decision to return to work. She took a part time position close to their beautiful retirement home that they so loved, hoping it would give them more opportunity to enjoy their time there.
They spent their first Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve away from their family , ever. We thought it was the most difficult thing, getting through the holidays without them, especially for the kids, but we were to find out, the worst was still yet to come.
About six months into the new life that she created to help her family, she took a sudden fall that resulted only in mild discomfort in her left foot. Over the next several weeks, the discomfort increased, and got to a point where she could no longer bear standing on it. She finished up her last shift at work, finally deciding that she needed to have it checked. The doctor at the urgent care location she went to, took an X-ray, and couldn't fathom what he was seeing... severe bone loss and a huge mass in her foot. He urged her to find her way to an emergency room to have it further evaluated.
Not wanting to be so far away from her family, should it be so serious and require care, my parents made the 3 1/2 hr trip home to Jersey. Upon checking into the ER, she was admitted almost immediately. After a restless week in the hospital, filled with tests and procedures, doctors finally delivered the news. She was diagnosed with Large B Cell Non-Hodgkin's Lymphoma.
Cancer. The most earth-shattering fate that none of us were truly prepared to hear. Fear, shock, anger, sadness, helplessness...these emotions were all ours in this moment. But after all these emotions washed over her, so too did arise faith, determination, bravery, strength and HOPE. She is a warrior in her own right, and her courage is unshakeable.
She knows in her heart, she has so much more life yet to live. So many people that love and need her, and that alone is enough to give her everything she needs to fight and beat this horrible disease. She is our guiding light, our one true symbol of hope. Hope that we can do whatever we set our minds to in this life. Hope that we can get through any storm and come out even stronger. Hope that we can be whoever we want to be. Hope that we can make a difference in someone else's life through our own sacrifices and love, just as she has done for us. Hope that no matter what we choose to give up in this life for others, it will all be worth it.
She has sacrificed so much for so many, and with her big heart, touched the lives of even more people than I could ever count. At this moment, it is my greatest wish to thank her, and show her how much her life has meant, not only to me and my family, but to all those who's lives she has truly made a difference in, great and small.
She may have lost all of her hair, but she has lost none of her heart and her drive to fight! Her strength and courage inspires us more everyday. She is already more than halfway through her six chemotherapy sessions, and I am so happy to report that she is doing well, through all of it. Her final session is to be administered at the very end of June. Then she will be sent for another PET scan to evaluate her progress, and we will wait for results with great hope and faith.
She has said that after receiving all her treatments, she would like nothing more than to have a nice, relaxing vacation with her family. My family of four will be taking our annual trip up to Villa Roma Resort in Callicoon, NY in August. Pending good results we would like nothing more than to take her with us and make that simple dream come true. In this small way, we hope to give her a bright light, something to look forward to and help put all of this suffering behind her.
Any and all donations are appreciated, as we work toward our main goal, of getting mom healthy and helping her heal inside and out. As a small token for your generosity, anyone that makes a donation of $25 or more will receive one of these #gloriosostrong T-shirts in the color and size of your choice. After making your donation, simply comment with your name, email, color and sizing below in the comments section.
'Glorioso Strong' has been a mantra for my mom through this whole process. Not only is it our family name, but to us, it is the ultimate symbol of strength, as we have all overcome every impossible circumstance through the bond of love and support throughout our family.
Thank you so much for listening to my story. It felt so good to be able to share it with all of you. I think it would be beautiful if those of you that do know her, could share your stories in the comments below of how you know her, and how she has affected your life. Even if our goal is not met, I think it will be so rewarding for her to see all the love and support we all have in our hearts for her. And that is the greatest gift of all in iteself.
Many thanks and God bless you all.
Organizer
Gina Scarfuto Zagara
Organizer
Howell, NJ