Gone Too Soon - Megan Her

Megan Kabao Her was born in Sacramento, California on July 18, 2003. Megan is the first child of Shary Xiong and Chang Her. Megan also has an 11 year old brother, Carter Her.

Megan was a beautiful young girl.  At just 14 years old, Megan stood at 5 feet 8 inches tall.  Although Megan was the tallest child of all her cousins, Megan is a sweet and shy child. She loved anything Korean such as Korean food, Korean Dramas and Korean singers and bands.  Her favorite band is BTS and G-Eazy.   She went to her very first concert last year to see G-Eazy.  Megan is a compassionate person with maturity beyond her age.  She loves to play with her little cousins.  She’s a great helper to her Aunts with helping them to take care of her little cousins, assisting them with shopping and always willing to carry their bags and clean their houses.  She was always willing to help anyone who needed help.  Megan's brother Carter often got bullied at school and Megan would always wait for him at recess and after school to make sure he didn't get bullied by kids.  She always protected her little brother because she knew that he would get upset and cry if kids bullied him. 

As a typical teenager, Megan loved makeup and perfume and girly things.   Megan was kind, considerate, generous and very helpful and always thoughtful.  She always rocked her own style ever since she was a little girl.  She loved to laugh and to make people laugh.  She had a great sense of humor and had an amazing amount of patience.  She was creative in arts and loved to experiment with makeup and had tons of makeup.  She was a hopeless romantic and just wanted to be in love someday.  She was a dreamer and loved looking at sunsets and stars.  Megan’s mom said that Megan was the easiest child to raise because she rarely complained.  All her teachers always had good things to say and praise about Megan and she had lots of friends at school.  Megan loved that she is a Hmong daughter and loved to wear her traditional Hmong clothes.  She always wore her traditional costumes proudly and she loved going to the Hmong New Year Celebrations yearly with her mom and all her aunties and cousins.

Although Megan was only 14 years old, she learned to take on a lot of responsibilities at a young age.  Megan’s mom has been on dialysis for the last few years.  Megan has been the most dutiful, obedient and compassionate daughter to her mother.  When Megan’s mom was too weak from dialysis, Megan took care of her mom.  She made sure her mom was fed and warm. She helped with household chores and took care of her little brother so that her mom can rest.  Megan did the families laundry, and was very independent and trustworthy.  When her mom was too sick, she would stay up with her mom and alert her Aunties if her mom was sick.  Megan’s worst fear was that her mom would leave her and pass away.  Little did we know that Megan’s journey in this life would end so soon first.

A few weeks ago, school had just started and Megan was eager but nervous to go to school.  She was home schooled last year and had wanted to go back to school with her friends at Fern Bacon Middle School.  A few days after school started, Megan started having headaches.  Megan was then sent to a hospital in Roseville for further monitoring. Megan was diagnosed with viral meningitis.   Overnight, Megan’s mentality grew worse but all her labs and a CT were normal so the physician decided to discharge Megan home. Although Megan’s mom fought the discharge because Megan was still very confused, the physician was very unsympathetic and claimed that Megan is a young teenager trying to seek attention only and was stable enough to go home.  Even though Megan’s mom was nervous and upset about Megan being discharged while she still showed signs of confusion and altered mental status, she had no choice.   After Megan was discharged home, her altered mental status got worse.   Megan’s mom took her back to the hospital where she was last seen and she was diagnosed with viral meningitis again and had an MRI done this time.  Megan was then sent back to the hospital in Roseville.  Megan was admitted to PICU and the MRI results came back that Megan has Meningitis Encephalitis.  She knew she was very sick.  She told her parents, the nurses and the doctor that she was scared and she was scared to die and didn’t want to die. She cried and cried and was very upset. She told her parents she knew that she was going to die and was very heartbroken.  Everyone thought she was just distressed because of her condition.  Soon after, Megan was sedated and never woke up again after that.  Megan’s family was given a matter of 4 hours with her only when the doctor concluded that Megan was not going to make it through the night. Imagine given a death sentence of your child and told you have 4 hours to spend with your child and say goodbye to her.  It’s something no parent shall ever want to experience.  Megan was her mom’s best friend.  She was her mom’s shadow. Everywhere Megan’s mom went, she went.  Megan took care of her family and her mom at a very young age because her mom was sometimes sick.  Megan’s mom and our family was devastated.  There was nothing we could do to bring our beautiful sweet Megan back.   At 9:18pm, Megan’s heart stopped beating and Megan took a piece of our hearts with her into heaven.   Megan had only turned 14 years old 2 months ago.  Megan leaves behind a grieving family:  her mom, who’s lost her best friend is struggling to get by without her princess day by day, her father who blames himself for not taking better care of his baby girl and fixes her bed nightly leaving the light on for her in her room in case she comes home, her brother Carter who has lost his only sibling that has always taken care of him and his protector, and all her Aunties, Uncles, Grandparents and cousins who loved Megan dearly. 

Friends and Families, many of you have reached out and asked how to help Shary and her family.  The best way to help her is to donate to Megan’s gofundme for her funeral.  As many of you know, Shary hasn’t worked in the last year because of her health condition andMegan's dad is the only person working.  They did not have any life insurance for Megan because often, we think that our kids are healthy and do not need life insurance.  And sometimes that need is also overlooked because our daily expenses are so tight already.  Megan’s parent’s funds are limited to give Megan a proper funeral and a special goodbye so we create this gofundme to help them.  All the funds will go towards Megan’s funeral and headstone. 

We thank all those who will generously donate money towards Megan’s funeral and for those that can’t donate, please don’t feel burdened to do so. But we ask you to please keep Megan’s family in your prayers.  They will continue to need lots of support and prayers from all of us as they start to heal from losing Megan.

Megans "tentative" funeral services are scheduled as follows:

Oct 21, 2017 (9am-12am) - First day of Funeral
Oct 22, 2017 (9am-12am) - All day service
Oct 22, 2017 at 5pm- Special service/Slideshow
Oct 23, 2017 (8am-11am)– Service and then burial.
(Site of burial yet to be announced. Times of services has still not be confirmed.  Will update as we get closer to the funeral.  Please call for more details.)

Hmong Palace Church of Sacramento
6525 53rd Ave
Sacramento, CA 95828

Anyone with questions can contact Megan’s father Chang Her at (916) [phone redacted] or Aunty Rose Xiong (916) [phone redacted]

As Megan’s family, we strongly feel that had Megan been kept at the hospital at her mom’s request during the first admission, Megan’s condition would have been treated and today Megan would still be here with us.  Because of the negligence caused by this hospital’s physician who claimed that Megan was a teenager trying to seek attention and was malingering, Megan’s life was cut short.  When in fact Megan’s health was already rapidly declining, she was denied care and told that she was stable to go home.  They pretty much sealed Megan’s fate because she was not treated in time.  Parents, if you ever come to a situation like Megan’s where you do not feel comfortable taking your child home because your child is mentally altered or your child is still acting different, appeal the discharge and get a second opinion.  You know your child the best and only you can speak up for and protect your child.  Please don’t lose your child because someone thinks your child is faking her illness.  As we continue to fight for justice for Megan, please continue to keep Megan’s family and our family in your thoughts and prayers.

From Megans Mom:

Dear God, please take care of my little girl,
The one with big eyes, and soft brown curls.
She was special, as you should know,
I really didn't want to let her go.

She touched the hearts of everyone she knew.
Letting her go was so hard to do.
Her smile could brighten up the darkest room.
I wish you didn't have to take her so soon.

Could you sit and rock her and read her a story,
She's probably afraid, please tell her don't worry.
Tell her mommy loves her and wishes she could be here,
But it won't be for many more years.

She loves to sing all kinds of songs,
Please tell her that she did no wrong.
Would you comfort her and hold her in your arms tight,
And tell her she is missed every day and night.

Please tell her she is loved so very dear
I'll say it every day for her to hear
Her short life on earth is now completed
For lessons I'm sure you felt I needed

Tell her I promise to see her again someday
When that will be, I really can't say
I promise to make up for the time that's past
To hold her and comfort her, in my arms at last.

Source: https://www.familyfriendpoems.com/poem/dear-god-please-take-care-of-my-little-girl

Megan Kabnpauj Her
July 18, 2003 - September 18, 2017
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Rose Xiong 
Sacramento, CA
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