This is my Mom, she is a really wonderful woman. Four years ago I had to start taking care of her full time. She has a multitude of medical problems; Dimentia, Diabetes, Lupus, COPD, Diverticulitis, Ischemic Colitis andCeliac Disease are the most serious. Financially speaking, people can go from doing okay to on the brink of homlessness in a matter of a few months. Well that is our story and this is how we got here.
Four years ago my relationship of 21 years ended and it was a big change for the both of us. First being I moved in with her, During the first few months as I was figuring out how to cope , Mom's health started deteriorating rapidly. I decided it was best for me to stay to care for her. Last year I moved us to a part of the state where the cost of living is a fraction of what it was in the Bay Area where we were living. I found us a reasonably price place for us to live and we ceratinly are not extravagant people. I purchased a reliable, very inexpensive auto to get us around and I had to purchase almost everything in terms of household items.
What I didn't expect is to have to pay , to date, almost $15,000 in out of pocket expenses for her care. Most of that in just the last year alone on caretakers, medical devices and medicines. I've depleted my savings.
I've been so consumed with her care that I have not been able to see a doctor myself and get the help I need to manage my HIV. Ive managed to remain alive for 32 years despite my HIV/AIDS status. I've had to. Who else was going to take care of my Mom?
The picture above is what happens when I go to work.
I couldnt find an affordable a caretaker that evening but she insisted I go into work. After a 12 hour shift I came home and found her on the floor, where she had been for three hours. This is what she looked like, it broke my heart. The fear and disorientation in her eyes still makes me cry. I have not been able to work consistently for almost four months and that is why I am here.
We have no family to help us out. Social services can only help us if we become homeless and filling out those forms and all the hoops you have to jump through are designed to discourage people from applying.
I'm three months behind in my car payments, no longer have car insurance, our phone is turned off and the $700 I managed to come up with for rent (which is only half) was just paid to SCE to get our power restored this morning. The landlord said today he is serving me with a three day notice.
I have nowhere to go. My Mom has nowhere to go.
I suppose I can put her in a nursing home but I made her a promise never to do that. I just need some help climbing out of this hole that I fell into really really quickly. I'm trying not to panic because that will not help. I know that with some help I can get back on my feet and continue to care for my Mom at home and provide her the love, respect and dignity that she deserves. I cannot guarantee that, and keep my promise if she has to be institutionalized. Please help me keep my Mom at home. We are now in the process of getting aid but that takes months , we need help right away.
Four years ago my relationship of 21 years ended and it was a big change for the both of us. First being I moved in with her, During the first few months as I was figuring out how to cope , Mom's health started deteriorating rapidly. I decided it was best for me to stay to care for her. Last year I moved us to a part of the state where the cost of living is a fraction of what it was in the Bay Area where we were living. I found us a reasonably price place for us to live and we ceratinly are not extravagant people. I purchased a reliable, very inexpensive auto to get us around and I had to purchase almost everything in terms of household items.
What I didn't expect is to have to pay , to date, almost $15,000 in out of pocket expenses for her care. Most of that in just the last year alone on caretakers, medical devices and medicines. I've depleted my savings.
I've been so consumed with her care that I have not been able to see a doctor myself and get the help I need to manage my HIV. Ive managed to remain alive for 32 years despite my HIV/AIDS status. I've had to. Who else was going to take care of my Mom?
The picture above is what happens when I go to work.
I couldnt find an affordable a caretaker that evening but she insisted I go into work. After a 12 hour shift I came home and found her on the floor, where she had been for three hours. This is what she looked like, it broke my heart. The fear and disorientation in her eyes still makes me cry. I have not been able to work consistently for almost four months and that is why I am here.
We have no family to help us out. Social services can only help us if we become homeless and filling out those forms and all the hoops you have to jump through are designed to discourage people from applying.
I'm three months behind in my car payments, no longer have car insurance, our phone is turned off and the $700 I managed to come up with for rent (which is only half) was just paid to SCE to get our power restored this morning. The landlord said today he is serving me with a three day notice.
I have nowhere to go. My Mom has nowhere to go.
I suppose I can put her in a nursing home but I made her a promise never to do that. I just need some help climbing out of this hole that I fell into really really quickly. I'm trying not to panic because that will not help. I know that with some help I can get back on my feet and continue to care for my Mom at home and provide her the love, respect and dignity that she deserves. I cannot guarantee that, and keep my promise if she has to be institutionalized. Please help me keep my Mom at home. We are now in the process of getting aid but that takes months , we need help right away.