Joseph's Journey

A Plea for Help for our Adopted Son from Russia: Joseph Petkac

 
If you were to meet Joseph for the first time, your first impression would be, “what a handsome nice boy.”  Joseph is a very sweet, lovable, 13 year old teenager with severe social and emotional problems. Most people, including some of our relatives, cannot believe the trouble he brings to our family with his dangerous, odd and now even sexual behaviors.

 

We adopted Joseph when he was 14 months old. He was a beautiful, young baby from an orphanage in Liubertsy, Russia. Joseph was the answer to months of trying in vitro fertilization with no luck, just heartache. We were told he had a hole in his heart, which was the reason Russia was allowing us to adopt him. After two trips to Russia we brought our precious little boy home and started to enjoy life with this vibrant new addition to our family.
 
We discovered that Joseph did not have any signs of a heart problem upon our return to the United States.  He did have giardia and was malnourished, so we gave him antibiotics and plenty of love. Joseph’s early issues were language and developmental. He started his new life with us as an energized, happy little boy.


As Joseph grew, it became more evident that he was having problems. At age 5 we discovered he had ADHD, at age 7; Asperger’s, at age 10; Anxiety, at age 11; Reactive Attachment Disorder and at age 12; Post Traumatic Stress Disorder from two months in the hospital after birth and 12 months in an orphanage where he was severely neglected and possibly abused.

 
The last three years have been a whirlwind of behavioral changes. Joseph has had major emotional meltdowns that looked like he was exploding out of his own skin. He was at times completely uncontrollable with physically hitting, kicking and biting. He directed this behavior at his mother, teachers, therapists and child care providers. He was enrolled in a school for children with special learning needs and they even had a difficult time controlling him. These challenging behaviors led us to have an in-home social worker, behavioral therapist, county worker and psychologist - all providing services in our home and in their offices weekly. The local police have had to be called to our home because of his violent outbursts and he has had several admissions to a pediatric psychiatric facility to assess his behavior and change his medications.

 

Joseph attended a program for children with Asperger’s for the last 5 years where he was being taught appropriate social skills. We currently have him working with a reactive attachment specialist that started him on neurofeedback. Joseph had his brain “mapped” which showed major developmental delays in processing. The neurofeedback is supposed to help his brain work more effectively so he can eventually communicate normally. We invested in the technology and run the system at home five days a week to speed up the therapy. The same therapist conducts outpatient therapy 2 times per month. So far, the most helpful of these therapies has been the neurofeedback, but sadly we are at a crossroads in Joseph's journey.

 

Though Joseph’s aggression is subsiding with no recent major meltdowns, some of his reactive attachment behaviors such as stealing and hoarding are constant. Our home is like a prison with locks everywhere. We have deadbolts on our bedroom door, attic door, basement door and the food pantry. All of our valuables have to be taken to our bedroom and secured daily. Joseph has stolen from school, church, stores and family. He has taken cell phones, money, clothes, watches, shoes, backpacks, and more from his grandparents, respite providers as well as from school.

 

The other area that is the most frightening for us is his bizarre obsession with collecting rope, tape and paraphernalia related to bondage. Only, now that he is getting older it is becoming sexual in nature. With all the professionals we have worked with, we have learned this disturbing behavior is directly related to the trauma that occurred to Joseph while he was in the orphanage. It is very likely he was tied up in his crib as a way to control him; not to harm him. It has long been discovered that what happens to babies in the first months of life helps to create normal healthy neuropathways. Joseph unfortunately was denied the nurturing love, touching, and nestling all babies need and deserve. Now we are left to deal with the trauma. We have sought and received advice from numerous caring professionals to help Joseph become a productive member of society, but we are feeling more concerned, helpless and desperate with each day.

 

After extensive research, we have discovered a residential treatment facility that actually specializes in helping teenagers with odd behaviors with a sexual component. Joseph has been accepted and will start at the end of May. We believe it was divine intervention that led us to this program which we feel is the next, immediate step we must take with Joseph so he has a chance at a productive life and less of a chance of him ending up in the penal system.

 

It’s not easy for us to share our heartbreaking story with you, but we are desperate and need financial help to secure this treatment for Joseph. We have exhausted all of our savings and bonds with all his medical needs over the last 5 years. His Asperger classes alone were $25,000. The neurofeedback equipment, training and ongoing therapy cost over $14,000 per year.  None of this has been covered by our insurance. Outside of selling our home and cars, we have nothing left but love and determination to help Joseph. We are taking out loans to pay for the initial 90 day evaluation and treatment. We are humbly asking our friends, neighbors, colleagues and community for help by donating to Joseph’s Journey so our family as a whole can heal and give him the best possible chance at a normal, emotionally healthy, safe and productive life.