Lost everything between fire, hurricane, and need surgery

House fire! Hurricane! Now homeless with nothing but a go bag and needed paperwork. Prepping for hurricane and the generator blew causing a house fire. Lost it all. Will post update when able to charge phones. Losing faith in humanity.

We are trying to raise funds for a nerve decompression surgery that will relieve the pain caused by peripheral neuropathy that has been onset from an injury that completely crushed my foot. I was removing tall trees with an excavator, when a tree slipped out standing upright and falling through the cab where I sit. The trunk was resting against my foot saving me from having my face and chest caved in. The chronic pain completely debilitates me, keeps me from standing, walking, playing with my Grandchildren and even taking a normal shower. I really thought I was this tough construction guy that could handle anything ,wow was I wrong! I wake up every hour or every other hour in massive stabbing and burning pain! I’m 6’3” 250lbs and It actually has me in tears crying like a 2 year old that scraped his knee. On the outside I try to act as if everything is great, it’s very embarrassing to admit that I’m NOT ok, I’ve been seeing a Psychiatrist for major depression and suicidal thoughts and actions. Can’t believe I’m admitting this! I have no quality of life,really in my mind what good am I just laying in bed being served and people trying to relieve the pain. Great way to live life ! And the best part is I’m nagging on wife and daughter not to sped Their money because we need to pay the bills. Workers comp pays me a portion of my salary twice a month, they don’t take in account your percentage of jobs, or weekly bonuses, or your weekly buff money recieved to use your vehicle, computer, phone, and tools. That’s another 500 aweek I lost from workers comp. I’m getting approximately 20% of my monthly income. That’s robbery, that’s the way an insurance company can put you on the street to die and close the case. That’s how it feels. I’ve been selling everything I own just to support my family. Another Xmas is coming, 5 children and 15 grandchildren that will receive nothing once again. What a great parent and grand parent I am I could go on and on with all my issues, all my faults and flaws. I worked so hard, changed my life, made my mother proud of me for once in her life before she passed. It almost cost me my life leaving the life I had chosen but I did it! God was looking out for me! Last week I couldn’t handle the pain and was hospitalized. The entire night I was screaming in pain, they moved me to a private room and shut the door. They tried ketamine, diazepam and morphine, none of them helped at all. Eventually I was given 60 mgs of oxycodone which helped, had no pain for 4 hours but Dr explained that a dying cancer patient in hospice doesn’t even come close to getting that amount of narcotics. And I don’t want to be a drug addict living on oxycodone!!! As of now when my body is ready to give out due to exhaustion from not sleeping I end up taking ( 3)5 mg of diazepam and a topriamate and 150mgs of lyrica 3 times aday, all prescribed from pain management With those doses it makes me pass out and sleep for a couple hours till the stabbing pain wakes me up, then start all over again, my wife may as well just have a coma patient as a husband. I have taken every non narcotic pain medication that pain management has given me. I’ve tried 4 sessions of lidocain infusion which is supposed to numb the damaged nerves that causes this horrendous pain, this treatment was a failure, the only thing left is nerve decompression, it’s where they remove the tissue surrounding the nerves causing the pain, keep them from being compressed. Following this surgery that insurance does not cover, I will have HXF installed to block the breakthrough pain, if any, by blocking the signals that go to the brain. Being I have pain from the accident they are finally going to cover the HXF, but I need to get the neuropathy pain lower in order for it to work. Neuropathy is not covered by the insurance because it was a pre-existing condition. God saved my life after a widowmaker heart attack that the Dr said I shouldn’t have survived! Then 2 weeks later the tree crashed through my excavator crushing my foot landing an inch from my face and chest! Once again God saved me! Lost a toe, all the bones in my foot and chronic pain to the point I don’t want to live anymore but he saved me! Then another widowmaker heart attack! Again I shouldn’t have survived!!! God saved me once more. He wants me around for something. I’ve prayed and prayed, gave my life to him and said use me as you will, tell me wat to do and I’ll do it. 4 weeks ago I was in hospital with another heart attack. I have 3 stents installed and still no answer. Just chronic pain and a wish for God to end my life so that the pain will stop. No one understands what it’s like, I wish everyone could spend just 3 minutes in my shoes to feel what it’s like. The stabbing pain with a hot blade over and over again with no breaks. Last night the hurricane hit us hard! A tree came through the roof in evening from high winds. My neighbors came over and cut it into small pieces removing it to the ground. Another tree fell and damaged our jeep, our only vehicle, how much more can I endure? So now you know the truth about my life. No more hiding and lying to everyone that everything is great. I’m a very proud person , I would stave before asking someone for a dollar for food. I apologize to everyone for being like that. I’ve always put up a good front, I’ve lived my life feeling like I was thrown away at birth and only my family will understand that. It has controlled me all my life up until last year when I found my biological father and he told me my story. Ok on to the jeep, Brianna wants me to explain that situation.

We are also in need of another cheap vehicle, as ours was damaged by the hurricane. It was an older Cherokee, and me being on workers' comp pay, we couldn’t afford full coverage. This is the most embarrassing thing I’ve done, asking for money from strangers. This is crazy, and I’m sure it won’t work, but my daughter has insisted.

My whole life I’ve worked hard, never ever missing a day of work, even when my children were born. The Mennonite work ethics that my parents, grandparents, aunts, and uncles instilled in all of us carried through out my life. Even owning my own business, I never made an excuse to a customer to not show up. But now, after a major accident crushing my foot, I’m unable to work, unable to walk more than 30 feet, or sit more than 5 minutes. I need to be in bed with feet raised on 10 different medications, with negative thoughts running through my head, not feeling like a man.

A man supports his family, not takes his wife’s small check and his daughter’s child support to pay bills. A man doesn’t borrow money from his son to get gas. In the Bible, it says, “A man will lead his family to Christ.” LEAD his family. How am I to lead when all I do is create a burden to them? If all goes well with the surgery and the implant, I’ll be able to once again go to work, maybe not in the same capacity, but I’ll be able to run a water and sewer crew or sit in an excavator and once again support my family. Is there hope in the future? Are people actually willing to help strangers? I guess we will see. I was raised baking Xmas cookies and going around to the neighbors and handing them out, when the neighbors were out raking leaves, the close knit neighbors would all help each-other. In the world we live in now I don’t think my kids or grandchildren will ever get to experience that. People and towns cared about one another. Now days your lucky to actually have siblings talk to you. The meaning of FAMILY is falling apart and has lost all meaning. I personally know a person in very much need of help, I know the family, the family has more money than they ever will be able to spend in 3 lifetimes. No matter what happens to the person medically, on the verge of being homeless, that family won’t give one dime to help them out. That’s sad and biblically wrong. Therefore Brianna, I’m very doubtful as I’m writing all of this.

thank you in advance.

Jeff