update 2/22/26

i just found out it’s spread to my liver

im going to keep living and working as long as I can

help me to be able to focus on health, life, and passion

not work myself to my grave worried about money

I still have $4000 in car repairs min

and around $5000 in prodthodontic repairs not including what comes after

yall helped me get the temporary prosthetics but I still need the permanents as these are degrading

I opened my business

it’s not off to a great start

neither is my body

i I can’t work on someone else’s time I can’t even lift required amounts or stand or move the required amounts

working for myself is all I can do

and now

well we will see

any help is appreciated

February 2026

First of all, thank you to those of you who have donated recently. It means so much.

Secondly, I suppose I should give an update.

So August-October I was paying out of pocket from my disability check and with help from my family despite them trying to retire in the next year or two, in order to continue my out of pocket treatments leading up to my permanent prosthetics. But in October, I had a tire blow out returning home from my Prosthodontist in Houston. It was, extremely costly, as I wasn’t paying comprehensive insurance in order to cover treatments. My parents helped the best they could. And I was beyond broke. But we got it to where it’s just got a busted headlight and body damage. Unfortunately we’ve yet to be able to fix that as apparently the entire bumper must come off just to change a bulb let alone headlight assembly. Which costs $1000 without the body work. I also have to keep getting help ziptying up my undercarriage cuz overall it’ll be 3-4000$ to fix. Driving 6 hours round trip to the hospital while avoiding driving at night for both legal reasons and the darkness of half the drive has proven, troublesome and resulted in more hotel stays and dog sitting. Sometimes social work can help me with hotel stays and usually a friend can tend to my dog though I do wish I could pay them. They have 5 kids to raise alone after all. But I’m grateful. I help back as much as I can.

but yeah, so that’s an added an expense

and we’ve never even got around to end of life/funeral expenses etc but hopefully that’s a very very long ways away

as for my treatments. I’m still on pause on my bone treatment because I’ve been on pause with my prosthodontist since the accident. I was supposed to get my permanent prosthetics in January but couldn’t afford to.

I decided in October, that while I wasn’t truly ready, I had to, I had to return to work. Best thing was to work for myself, massaging again. So I found a room to rent. But it was under construction. Small town, hours from anything, bad headlight=limited options. But I’ve been delayed repeatedly first by delayed construction, then catching some bugs, and then, well, my cancer got worse. My pain got worse. And my mobility got worse. Luckily even though it’s the worst my numbers have been in 3 years, I’m not back in a wheelchair or anything, and we know it’s not that my meds don’t work, just that, I got so caught up tryna re enter the world of the living and stressing money and small town issues that I focused on preparing the business and my mental health more than my cancer. And I mean sometimes I forget I guess that I’m dying, I have better days where I just feel like I got hit by a bus

but anyway

im getting back on track

and I’m opening the business for valentines day

i hope I can do it

and maintain the work health balance this time

but it’s been 4 months since my last visit to that Dr

4 months I coulda finished my treatments except the prosthetics

instead invested in a business that was meant to help me make what I needed sooner

so I really hope I do well

i have a rather long waitlist claiming they’re ready to book

so we’ll see how the rest of the week and month goes

but yeah

i still need help

a lot of it

roughly $10000 still including car repairs and not including monthly expenses

or living life

so thank you to those who have donated recently

and thank you to those who donated last year and not only got this ball rolling but helped me to celebrate how far I’d come

I hope to be even better off come that time this year

thank you for the support

8/8: my next treatment is scheduled for the 22nd of August, I got some help from a grant but with all the trips to Houston this month (soon it will be back to normal once or twice a month, plus my twice a week trip to woodlands for physical therapy) I’ll need help with about $300 worth of gas and travel expenses plus my August treatment cost. I’ll be getting at least one treatment a month until done. Plus two more surgeries in 5-6 months. So any help even beyond this months help is appreciated! Thank you!

latest 7/20: We did it!! Between cash donations and cash app and the gofundme, I am in tears I’m so grateful for all the help from family and friends near and far! My surgery is Wednesday and Thursday, with a part of it being postponed due to a nearby tumor until it’s gone, and the most important treatments that go along with this surgery able to take place this week too now so we’ll be updating the Dr tomm so he can be prepared to do it! Thank you so much. After this surgery the rest of my treatments will be planned for even if it’s one at a time and I will update yall on that and what’s needed for that as well as how my surgery goes. I’m nervous and I have mixed feelings about the procedure but I pray it will look and function amazing when it’s set and done and I can keep getting healthier and eventually back on my bone treatment. And then next stop remission! Thank you all so so much for your help and support throughout this journey and life!!! I couldn’t have done this or even gotten this far in my journey or life without some of the help and words and love I’ve received from yall!! Eternally grateful, Felicity.

new: I need $800 asap preferably by July 23rd for treatments that go along with my surgery and affect its success

thank you!

MOST RECENT (July 8th) UPDATE:

Thank you so so much. My surgery is scheduled, my prosthetics are paid for and being made as I type this, we did have to push off some necessary work since I didn’t have enough funds yet but if I don’t have it come surgery day it’ll just be included in phase two of this procedure. I just wanna thank everyone who donated for making this happen!! Scans Saturday and anesthesia prep next week leading up to surgery! Thank you so much. This is crazy expensive and I’ve def maxed out my care credit card and gone for broke myself paying for this so thank you so so much for helping make sure it wasn’t for nothing! If you can help with phase two or help not push off some of this after all I’m still taking donations til everything is done and there’s other things I could use some help with too having been crippled to the point of being on disability and tryna bounce back now through physical therapy and being so alone most of this journey it’s been extra hard so thank you thank you thank you for past present and future help and compassion!! You’re keeping my faith in humanity and will to live alive!!

(July 1st) UPDATE: THANK YOU!! After all your help through here&cashapp (particularly my long distance folks representing!!!) plus what I can contribute and with all the updated and hopefully finalized info I have after all these quotes and estimates, I now need about 1600 more (40 people donating $40) by July 15th so I can get the first part of this surgery!!! Please help me cross this finish line!!

I need surgery ASAP. (Scheduled for middle-end of July) And I desperately & humbly need a lot of help to afford it! A little bit could go a long way too! (100 people donating $50; 200 donating $25)

—for those who don’t know, I was diagnosed a little over two years ago, after years of misdiagnosed symptoms, with stage 4 breast cancer metastasized to my bones. And now, one of my treatments is on pause until I can get this surgery.

<June update:

This has been put off too long due to my circumstances, and it’s currently being scheduled for this year and next year, in three parts. The first part of the surgery is currently scheduled for July 23rd 2025 but the pre-surgery prep (when I need to pay) is currently being scheduled for prior to then (around the 15th of July most likely). And I desperately need help to cover the costs, as insurance and disability only covers so much and I am still physically limited (to be able to earn it all on my own), though grateful nonetheless for the recent stabilizing improvement, and hope.

I will need an estimated $5000/$6000 maximum for first part and thanks to the family and friends that have already donated here and through cashapp, we’re already on our way. The second part will take place throughout the rest of the year as possible and is also estimated to be around $5000 minimum. With the last part taking place 6 months after the first for an estimated minimum of $3000.>

(Not to mention the other issues I need help with including other surgeries, end of life costs just in case, and otherwise restarting life from scratch (business startup/moving costs for better work options upon return to civilization…in addition to smaller items—-but this surgery is the priority)

<May update:

I need an estimated $16,000 total for a surgery that’s been put off too long due to lack of help, support, ability, and resources. It cannot be put off anymore as it will only get worse, and already has; additionally, one of my treatments is on hold until this can be done. It’s a medically necessary surgery for and overall created by my stage 4 breast cancer and bone metastases. Please help. And please at least be someone who chooses the mindset that even a little can add up and inspire others to do the same because it can with enough people (ex. 400 people donating $40). And I could really use help from my people beyond my current environment too; please don’t assume I’m getting enough support in person. I’ve actually been very isolated the last 2+ years and, while that doesn’t take away from those that I am very grateful to—for what support I have been given; I wouldn’t be posting this if I didn’t need help from anyone and everyone I’ve ever known and are kind enough to donate & share or even from generous and sweet strangers.

I’m grateful for those that have already donated either through here, my cash app ($FelicityXander), or in person. And I am doing all I can to save, earn, or create funds on my own. Thank you. This will go a long way in improving my quality and comfort of life, my health, mindset, and hopefully enough to help me stand a better chance at remission and longer life. Not to mention prevent further major health complications and threat to my life. If the amount is reached and you would like to help more there is plenty beyond this particular surgery I could use help with. And you can help in other ways too if you keep up with my social media, or if you ask me, or maybe I’ll list them in here in new update as well. Thank you so much. Forever grateful, Felicity Xander.>

Original post (thank the AI because this is hard, asking for help like this, but welcome to cancer):

I’m deeply grateful for the help I’ve received from friends, family, and my community over the past two years. I’ve tried not to ask for more, but after so long fighting and stretching every resource, I need to pursue every avenue for support. I would be even more grateful for any further help, as I know it’s a lot to ask and I never want to burden those who have already stood by me. I’d love for my parents to be able to retire and not have to worry about my care.

For years, I struggled with unexplained symptoms(2020&2021), and in the fall of 2022, things got worse. It became clear it wasn’t just stress. In May 2023, I was diagnosed with bone cancer, and soon after, breast cancer was confirmed. I ended up in the ICU at MD Anderson, nearly dying from hypercalcemia caused by cancer in my bones. I stayed inpatient until I was stable enough to return home to my dog, now facing stage 4 breast cancer that had spread to most of my bones. This brought fractures, spinal compression, bone loss, loss of height, mobility challenges, a wheelchair, induced menopause, pain, and a long mental and physical journey. While I can walk again and many bone metastases have cleared, I still have lasting limitations, pain, and a future that’s uncertain and overwhelming with constant appointments and surgeries.

My support system is small—a couple friends who help when they can, a few supportive family members from a distance and hands-on when possible, but mainly my loyal dog, Nyko. He’s a bit like Stitch from the movies: wild at first, but a total cuddle bug once you get to know him. He’s sassy, loves belly rubs, and is always up for an adventure with his favorite stuffies. Nyko is what keeps me going, and his companionship gives me strength to face each day.

Day-to-day, I’m navigating the realities of living with cancer: needing help around the house, struggling to keep a routine, and missing the feeling of truly living. Human companionship is rare, and the financial strain from medical and dental bills, reconstructive surgeries, and ongoing treatments is overwhelming. My bone treatments have helped regrow my hip, but they’ve also caused serious side effects, including damage to my teeth and nails. Because of this, my doctors have had to pause my bone treatment until I can undergo medically necessary reconstructive dental surgery. This surgery is not fully covered, but it’s essential for me to safely resume my bone treatments and continue fighting my cancer. Without it, I risk losing all my teeth and facing even more severe health complications at a young age. Other surgeries, including spinal procedures, are also being discussed. I’ve already had one spinal surgery, which was covered due to necessity, but the others are more for comfort and may not be fully covered, which is why they’ve been put off. I’m still in pain and have mobility issues despite that surgery, and while I’m grateful for the improvement, it’s been a long road—especially being homebound and isolated for two years, much like what many experienced during Covid lockdown, though for me it’s been even longer and more isolating.

Despite all this, I’m determined to make the most of my good days. I dream of re-starting my own massage therapy business—something I’m licensed for and passionate about. After covering surgery and end-of-life costs, I hope to buy and convert a Skoolie (a school bus) to travel with Nyko, run my business, and eventually settle near a beach. I want to go to concerts, learn to surf, and visit friends and family scattered across the continent. If my time is short, I need to make sure Nyko finds a loving home that understands his quirks and gives him the long, happy life he deserves.

I have been and continue to do all I can to generate these funds on my own, including attempting to go back to work part time. I’m not sure how long I can be successful working again, if at all, but whether it’s DoorDash or a local job that’s understanding of my limitations, I’m trying all that I can to find funds or coverage on my own as well. I’m even selling my old Jeep and getting a closet clean out sale ready for anyone interested in helping in other ways.

Your support will help with urgent surgery costs, medically necessary dental procedures, and the chance to build a future—one where I can thrive, pay this kindness forward, and make a positive impact. I hope to spend meaningful time with loved ones, return to philanthropy and volunteer work, and live a healthy, active life—massaging, surfing, walking Nyko, and traveling. Thank you for reading and for any help you can offer as I work to meet these challenges on my own terms.