Finally house after 1.7 years homeless

Hello, for the sake of anonymity I will go by Ainsley. I do not want my (blacklisted) ex family to find out about this

I am a young black woman in her 20’s and my pronouns are she/her

I have been living in my car for seven months after being evicted from my family home in November of 2020. For those who are unaware you can be evicted from your parents house and if taken to court. If the judge rules in favor of the Landlord, Owner or my ex family then the eviction will be marked on my credit as if I were evicted from an apartment. Because I didn’t know who the judge would rule in favor of I decided not to take any chances and leave. I didn’t want to be there before and days before that there was a brawl where my sperm donor and my male sibling put their hands on me. Both of them much bigger and taller than I am. 

That was the last straw for me. I had been dealing with abuse since I was 5 years old, at the hands of my parents. I never really felt like I had any chance at all. Narcissistic abuse and emotional was the flavor of choice for me. It was the reason I stayed in a perpetual state of abuse. One day they would be nicer the next day they would go back to how they are. It doesn’t help that I was raised in a catholic/christian household where no matter how badly they treated me or physically abused me I was told to forgive them. At such a young impressionable age I forgave every time. But they never changed. I developed severe depression and anxiety to the point of getting panic attacks so severe I mistook them for heart attacks which was easy to do because high cholesterol runs in the family. I also graduated from anorexia to bulimia which they also mocked and laughed at me for. 

Narcissistic abuse is a sick cycle where they made me perpetually rely on them. That is why I have nothing of my own. I left with only my belongings. That is why after years I have nothing to show for myself. I want you to imagine for a second. Studying and working your butt off in community college just to transfer to Texas Tech and have a mental break down your first semester. Narcissistic abuse is sabotage. They sabotaged me from the very beginning. It only took therapy and separation from that toxic environment to see that. Imagine sabotaging your own children. While you berate them for not being as good enough as the other kids. I hope I shed some light on what narcissistic abuse is and how severely it can affect a person life. 

My mental health is rearing dangerous levels once again. It got better as soon as I left that sick environment, but plummeted soon after because living in my car has been psychological torture. 

I have never had an apartment before. I am fundraising to finally have a place to call my own to get my life back. Start completely over.

 I do plan on getting employment raising money with no influence or friends is extremely difficult. I feel as though people often forget that being homeless means not having access to certain amenities that people often take for granted. I cannot shower currently therefore hindering me from a job interview let alone a job. I have seen coworkers at past jobs get sent home for simply having a dirty apron as a server. 

I ask for urgency at this time as the weather is getting unbearably hot and I haven’t been able to sleep due to fear of dying of heat exhaustion or heat stroke

Thank you so much to anyone who’s taken the time to read thus far. Honestly any consideration or donation big or small I would be eternally grateful. I am not good at expressing my words. 

Please only donate if you are able too. I am not interested in taking anyone’s last. And if you are unable to donate all that I ask is that you not only share on your social media but tag influencers or celebrities that can spread more awareness to my plight.  

Thank you in advance. 

The $25,000 will be used for 

• Rent (In my area is from $1100-$1800)

• Car inspection/Car work 

• Bare necessities (pots and pans, shower curtains etc)

• Therapy (trauma of being homeless) 

• Physical therapy for lower back pain and overall fatigue due to improperly sleeping on car seats 

• Proper mattress