Fighting Back Against My Mother’s Abuser

My name is Anthony Michael Ryder. I’m an artist, student, and survivor seeking help in the wake of something I should’ve never had to witness, and experience, my mother’s attempted murder—while she was on hospice. Navigating the complex and compound traumas has become a record that is intricately threaded into the fabric of my life. This history influences how I trust, my sense of self, and how I love and to be loved, informing every aspect of my life.

The man who did this, Dewayne McCulla, pled guilty. He has continued harm—that hides behind legal loopholes, exploitation of the court system, and a total disenfranchisement for victims.

He pled guilty. And yet, the legal system continues to serve him—not her, and not me. When facing possible consequences he spent time getting head shots, and taking acting lessons that ultimately was used for court.

https://www.ksl.com/article/51209941/man-who-tried-to-kill-terminally-ill-wife-sentenced-to-home-confinement

Despite his confession, Dewayne was given a plea deal and Judge Walton bought his narrative that spared him real accountability. He has continued this ongoing behavior , and is now dragging me to probate court over my mother’s estate—the very woman he tried to kill. It’s about control, erasure, and the continued emotional harm inflicted on victims when abusers are allowed to weaponize the system itself.

Over the past two years, I’ve spent over $30,000 on psychiatric care, therapy, and trauma recovery. $1,750 was covered by the state Dewayne has been ordered to remiburse the state for that amount, none of it toward the lifelong impact of his actions. And now I’m facing thousands more in legal costs just to defend myself against a man who should never have had access to court—let alone to my mother’s name or her memory.

I’m raising funds to:

• Pay for legal representation in the ongoing estate and civil cases

• Pursue further legal action for fraud and financial misconduct

• Cover continued psychiatric care as I work to rebuild my life

• Contribute to nonprofits that support domestic violence survivors, especially those failed by the justice system

Even more disturbing, Dewayne used a GoFundMe campaign intended to fulfill my mother’s dying wish—to travel to Oregon for the Death with Dignity Act. Instead he used it to fund his own lifestyle. That money, nearly $30,000, went not to her, but to himself:

• A brand-new Toyota Tundra

• A motorcycle

• A Onewheel

• A brand-new OLED TV

• And other personal luxuries

My mother never made it to Oregon.

He used her name, her death, her suffering—to buy toys and keep up appearances. It’s more than theft. It’s exploitation of the worst kind.

To continue this fight, I’ve had to hire legal representation with a $2,500 retainer and an ongoing rate of $400 per hour, billed monthly. These costs are necessary just to defend what should already be mine by law—and to finally hold Dewayne McCulla accountable for the emotional, legal, and financial abuse that has continued long after his conviction.

Any remaining funds after legal fees will support my ongoing psychiatric treatment and be donated to nonprofits that support survivors of domestic violence, especially those failed by the system as my mother and I were.

Any donation, no matter the size, is an act of solidarity. If you can’t donate, sharing this page can still make a powerful difference. As a victim why should I hold the responsibility of his despicable behavior, I believe that responsibility should be held to the people responsible.

Thank you for standing with me in this fight for justice, for healing, accountability, and the right to grieve in peace.

Warmly,

Anthony Michael Ryder